CanadianBird Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 (edited) I'm curious to know how my fellow aromantics feel about the use of pet-names/affectionate nicknames in a platonic relationship (not necessarily a QPR, but you can interpret that in any way you wish). In my experience it's been a bit awkward for me to comfortably call my close friends 'babe' or say I love you with out being worried about implying feelings that I absolutely do not have. Although for me personally when I have been able to make it clear that the names come from a place of genuine admiration versus hinting, it feels natural and really nice. I know this is probably different for everyone, so what is it like for you? Edited May 30, 2023 by cerimonials Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 2 minutes ago, cerimonials said: I'm curious to know how my fellow aromantics feel about the use of pet-names/affectionate nicknames in a platonic relationship. In my experience it's been a bit awkward for me to comfortably call my close friends 'babe' or say I love you with out being worried about implying feelings that I absolutely do not have. Although for me personally when I have been able to make it clear that the names come from a place of genuine admiration versus hinting, it feels natural and really nice. I know this is probably different for everyone, so what is it like for you? I don't think I'd enjoy doing that very much, if it was with a friend of the same gender that would just be ever more proof to clueless people that I would somehow be gay. Besides that just sounds weird, my family doesn't even do pet names, we just take random embarrassing names out of inside jokes and call each other that occasionally. It's only in the family though. XD 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 I like ‘em. Everyone can be babe to me and that don’t have to mean anything. If someone gets all no homo about it then they’re not someone I’d want as a friend anyway lol. Of course, if someone’s genuinely uncomfortable with pet names, I’ll respect that. But just because I call someone something doesn’t mean I’m interested in them, especially since I’m Latina and queer so I’m just inclined towards pet names anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 25 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said: I like ‘em. Everyone can be babe to me and that don’t have to mean anything. If someone gets all no homo about it then they’re not someone I’d want as a friend anyway lol. Of course, if someone’s genuinely uncomfortable with pet names, I’ll respect that. But just because I call someone something doesn’t mean I’m interested in them, especially since I’m Latina and queer so I’m just inclined towards pet names anyway No that's mostly just random other people, I'll keep my friends firmly in the friend area and if it expands platonically, then awesome! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 9 minutes ago, HelloThere said: No that's mostly just random other people, I'll keep my friends firmly in the friend area and if it expands platonically, then awesome! :D Huh? I'm confused what you're talking about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 Just now, Jot-Aro Kujo said: Huh? I'm confused what you're talking about Random people would call me gay for having pet names with friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted May 31, 2023 Share Posted May 31, 2023 8 minutes ago, HelloThere said: Random people would call me gay for having pet names with friends. They're just homophobic, then. You should just ignore them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rather be Reading Posted May 31, 2023 Share Posted May 31, 2023 I'm okay with pet names from certain close friends, but generally I'd rather people just refer to me by my actual name. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Newest Fabled Creature Posted May 31, 2023 Share Posted May 31, 2023 I kind of like pet-names, especially strange ones that me and my friends use that are uniquely for each other (ex: starlight, starshine, even the name gremlin, etc). Sometimes it is kind of hard for me to use certain pet-names like "hon," "sweetheart," or the rare use of "babe" without feeling like I implied something that isn't there, but saying "I love you" comes quite easily to me around friends, as long as it is made known that it's not meant romantically first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted May 31, 2023 Share Posted May 31, 2023 23 minutes ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said: I kind of like pet-names, especially strange ones that me and my friends use that are uniquely for each other (ex: starlight, starshine, even the name gremlin, etc). Sometimes it is kind of hard for me to use certain pet-names like "hon," "sweetheart," or the rare use of "babe" without feeling like I implied something that isn't there, but saying "I love you" comes quite easily to me around friends, as long as it is made known that it's not meant romantically first. That’s honestly something that none of my friends have done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianBird Posted May 31, 2023 Author Share Posted May 31, 2023 2 hours ago, HelloThere said: Random people would call me gay for having pet names with friends. I can also relate to this. I would love to call my friends pet-names, but it can easily translate to something more than friendly :,) Maybe I'm being paranoid about how people may interpret certain acts, but I'd still rather avoid the situation instead of awkwardly going "... But no romo!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
illumi Posted May 31, 2023 Share Posted May 31, 2023 (edited) good way of expressing affection but im not a fan of it. its too cheesy for my taste and i prefer nicks & exclusive names [names that can only be used by some1 specific] Edited May 31, 2023 by LIVI0 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2023 Share Posted May 31, 2023 Nope! I don't even want people to acknowledge my existence lmao! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candide Posted May 31, 2023 Share Posted May 31, 2023 I’m ok with them from my partners, and nice old ladies at the grocery store, but that’s about it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AromanticAardvark Posted June 1, 2023 Share Posted June 1, 2023 I like them! I'm always a bit wary of using them, especially around people who might not take it in a platonic name, but I would like to use them more (and get called them more) with friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueEvergreen Posted June 1, 2023 Share Posted June 1, 2023 I understand the appeal, but they are not for me. They just make me feel weird for no reason, and I've gone through a lot of "Oh are you two dating" just because I have a lot of female friends, I don't want that to escalate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwiftySpeedy Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 No. not the thing for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted June 3, 2023 Share Posted June 3, 2023 I find most pet names quite disappointing. When I was young there was a friend of my mums who would refer to pretty much everyone as 'me duck' or 'duck'. (For those outside the UK, this is a fairly common pet name used by people in the North of England and I haven't a clue why) Honestly no pet name can come close to being as good as being called duck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 It depends on who's using them. I'm fine with my friends using them rather rarely and jokingly, but I don't think it's something I'd want anyone to call me on a daily basis. However I can't stand my family calling me pet-names, no matter whether they're serious about it or not. It just makes me feel uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthetic Adrenaline Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 I rarely use nicknames although sometimes something just suits. I'm not into saying I love you at all. I could do it for a short while in an attempt to be normal and reach normal milestones and then I'd reach a point where I found it too grating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flowingleaves Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 I grew up in a family which used pet names a lot and that rubbed off on me so I'm pretty much fine with it! I'm fine with anyone apart from like complete strangers using pet names for me, it feels kinda natural to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Sky Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 I don't feel comfortable when anyone I'm not dating in a romantic way uses pet names for me, so I just ask they use my name. I'm currently in a QPR and we call each other our squish but outside of that I'm not into those cute pet names others use. I know she likes them but I don't like them even if she uses them. That's just me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyTuneRein Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 I generally feel similar to when I'm insulted and thus tend to ignore them, but undue pet-names in formal situations can be even more cringe. Otherwise the general rule is: If we ain't even close, don't pet-name me, otherwise I may use thou as something to sharpen my claws on. 😾 I think it's more due to those around me being Chuck-awful at it, as opposed to my tolerance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kira- Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 I’m not comfortable with the use of pet names (wthr it’s sm1 else using them 4 or vise versa). In gen I just use ppls names or nicks, the farthest I would prob go is using a diff nick if sm1 is comfortable, but I’ve never had the need to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helion Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 Honestly, I don't like em, I have this one guy I'm friends with and he always calls me "cupcake" for fun, but my anxious ass is way too scared to tell him I don't like it, so here I am lmao I feel like that is at least kinda toed to my aromanticism because it gives me these romantic vibes that I don't really like tbh. I'm romance-neutral, but if people show active romantic interest in me I tend to get repulsed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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