Aplatonic Aros

[GoodbyeRepublicServices]

On 4/25/2023 at 10:32 AM, Picklethewickle said:

I'm aplatonic. I can find people interesting and likable, but I don't feel a need to bond with someone as a friend. Friendships can be nice in small doses, but overall maintaining a friendship is a lot of work and can be more burdensome than anything. I very much prefer casual acquaintances and communicating with people through the internet over pyhsically getting together and spending time with people. I've also noticed that I don't find the end of friendships painful. I've seen many other people grieve the end of a friendship, but to me these kind of life changes are healthy, normal, and easy to accept.

I'd say this is quite similar to my experience. I do have friends, yes, but only a couple and I don't need to spend that much time with them. Luckily, all the friends I have work at the same job as I do, so I can see them there. So, I'd describe myself as aplatonic (at least partly so). I'd agree that maintaining friendships is work, and because of that, overbearing personalities wouldn't make great friends for me.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

Sometimes I wonder if I may be on the spectrum of aplatonicism, in the fact that I don't experience lot's of platonic attraction in making new friends (though I do experience it), more or less I may make a new friend only because calling them a friend or such is what's expected, or sometimes I don't mind them wanting to become friends with me.

I do experience wanting a closeness, platonically, with people, but more often than not I feel that lack of interest/desire or attraction in forming deeper and/or newer platonic relations.

[Guest]

I might be some kind of aplatonic? I don't know. How did you all find out? How were you able to be sure?

[nonmerci]

Well for me, it is something that didn't crossed my mind until I enter the aro community and heard about how aros talk about their friends and squishes. To be honest I think that sometimes, some people seem to merge platonic with queerplatonic and that added to my feeling of "I've never felt like that", but still, I realize that all the things that were put under "platonic attraction" and what some aros expect from friendship are things I don't relate to.

For instance I don't look at people and think "I want to befriend them", I don't need to see my friends often cause I don't miss them even if I enjoy their company, things like that.

[Guest]

I pretty much relate to all of this. I think that I’m probably grayplatonic at the very least. Thank you.

[Lovebird]

Now that this thread has risen from its ashes, I can safely and confidentially say that I have since realised I am actually greyplatonic!

I am greysexual, greyromantic & now greyplatonic. Triple G!

[Guest]

https://www.tumblr.com/foolishfynnesse/724254896352804864/omg-an-apl-ring-finally-this-must-be
Thought this might interest some of you.

[Guest]

More symbols: As aplatonics we automatically get all non-platonic solids (anything that isn't a tetrahedron, cube, octahedron, dodecahedron, and icosahedron). So unfortunately most Dnd dice are out, but I get my d10 as a symbol! And like every other shape! Also, bismuth should be the official apl periodic table element because bismuth crystals are aplatonic flag colors. Bismuth is number 83 on the periodic table, so 83 is a symbol as well. We (the aplatonic discord) might be going a little overboard, but I personally think that since there's the thread Aromantic Everything dedicated to claiming every aro symbol they can, there needs to be more apl symbols.

[Guest]

Okay, it has come to my attention that bismuth is also a bi symbol because the chemical abbreviation for bismuth is Bi. But it is in apl colors. Are there any bisexuals on this chat that have an opinion? Do you want to keep bismuth for yourself? Should bis and apls share bismuth? Or should it be for bi (bisexual or biromantic) aplatonics?

[Guest]

Ugh. My day was just ruined. I kind of need to vent to other aplatonics. So here you go. Sorry for ruining someone’s day. I wish there was a forum for aplatonics so I could reach more people. I mean, a lot of aplatonics are alloromantic.

I have pretty much found out that I am a friendship-repulsed aplatonic, which is why many of my friendships in the past haven’t worked out. I feel I can be happy on my own, more so than with friends. So I was sitting on my own at lunch, which is what I want to do. But an autistic queer kid sitting alone makes a great target. Four kids came over to mess with me. They were basically there to mock me and laugh at me. I got them to leave by screaming at them. Then they went to go talk about how childish I was, with screaming at them and stuff. I wonder if I was sitting with friends they wouldn’t have done that. Should I get friends? But I’m friendship-repulsed. I don’t even know how to get friends. But if I don’t have friends will this keep happening? It’s only the second day of school. I hate feeling like a target.

[hemogoblin]

On 9/7/2023 at 10:28 AM, DragonWithAQuest said:

I have pretty much found out that I am a friendship-repulsed aplatonic, which is why many of my friendships in the past haven’t worked out. I feel I can be happy on my own, more so than with friends. So I was sitting on my own at lunch, which is what I want to do. But an autistic queer kid sitting alone makes a great target. Four kids came over to mess with me. They were basically there to mock me and laugh at me. I got them to leave by screaming at them. Then they went to go talk about how childish I was, with screaming at them and stuff. I wonder if I was sitting with friends they wouldn’t have done that. Should I get friends? But I’m friendship-repulsed. I don’t even know how to get friends. But if I don’t have friends will this keep happening? It’s only the second day of school. I hate feeling like a target.

I'm sorry you're being bullied. Having friends when that doesn't make you happy would bring up a totally different set of problems and is not guaranteed to stop the bullying. Bullies bully because it makes them feel powerful and in control. They aren't bullying because you sit alone but because they've deduced sitting alone makes you an easier target. If you had friends, you might be a less easy target, but they could always bully you for whatever else made up reason they wanted. Having friends isn't a guarantee to stop bullying. Sometimes friends are bullied together. Sometimes friends run away and leave you to be bullied out of fear of being bullied themselves. And you just can't be with your friends 24/7, so there are always times a bully can catch you alone.

Is there a teacher that lets students sit in their room during breaks? This may be a better and more accessible option to you.

[Guest]

9 hours ago, hemogoblin said:

I'm sorry you're being bullied. Having friends when that doesn't make you happy would bring up a totally different set of problems and is not guaranteed to stop the bullying. Bullies bully because it makes them feel powerful and in control. They aren't bullying because you sit alone but because they've deduced sitting alone makes you an easier target. If you had friends, you might be a less easy target, but they could always bully you for whatever else made up reason they wanted. Having friends isn't a guarantee to stop bullying. Sometimes friends are bullied together. Sometimes friends run away and leave you to be bullied out of fear of being bullied themselves. And you just can't be with your friends 24/7, so there are always times a bully can catch you alone.

Is there a teacher that lets students sit in their room during breaks? This may be a better and more accessible option to you.

I got permission from the counseling office to eat in the library. It hasn't stopped it completely, but it removes one of their biggest opportunities.

[Kira-]

I would just say that I’m Aroace aplatonic , I don’t rly feel the need to find a more specific label than that right now, it’s mostly been the past few months where I’ve rly started to to figure out that I’m aplatonic. An early sign that I should have seen was how much differently ppl viewed friendships than me. I guess I just thought it was just an Aroace thing until I really started looking into it. I feel like a lot of my life makes more sense now that I’ve more or less come to terms with this.