Things you've never understood about romance

[SamwiseLovesLife]

8 minutes ago, Ice Queen said:

I, for one, don't really get the point of celebrating anniversaries. What are you, people, counting exactly? :-? 

I recently had two good friends get engaged on their first (annual) anniversary. Don't get me wrong, I adore my friends and they make a great couple but this freaks me out.

 

Alternatively, my sister and her partner have their 10th anniversary this year and everyone seems to be anticipating (and frankly, pressuring) for them to get engaged on this date. Why does it need to be a special date? Why can't they just wait until they are ready, which may be never? (Also, why is it anyone else's business..)

[brsajo]

I am alloromantic and I still don't understand anything about romance.

[sarcastic kitten]

The fact that someone turn into a completely different person when they are in love or with their 'other half', still baffle me like nothing else.

Okay, it isn't always the case, but I saw it more frequently that I would like....

 

[Mark]

6 hours ago, sarcastic kitten said:

The fact that someone turn into a completely different person when they are in love or with their 'other half', still baffle me like nothing else.

That they don't get a WTF reaction to the term 'other half'...

[Ace of Amethysts]

14 hours ago, brsajo said:

I am alloromantic and I still don't understand anything about romance.

I thought you were aro... my life is a lie.

[Queen of Spades]

16 hours ago, sarcastic kitten said:

The fact that someone turn into a completely different person when they are in love or with their 'other half', still baffle me like nothing else.

Okay, it isn't always the case, but I saw it more frequently that I would like....

 

This is creepy. If someone were to change once they find a partner, it should only be for the BETTER. Otherwise it's toxic and abnormal as hell. 

 

Also, I don't really get why so many alloromantics consider themselves a half of someone. If I ever get to have a partner, I'd see us as two whole entities who are right for each other.  

[SamwiseLovesLife]

53 minutes ago, Ice Queen said:

Also, I don't really get why so many alloromantics consider themselves a half of someone. If I ever get to have a partner, I'd see us as two whole entities who are right for each other.

Aaaghhh I hate this, why on earth would you choose to think of yourself incomplete? That's so sad!

Even before realising I am Aro I always said I am a whole person, and if I ever found someone I wanted to date, they would be another whole person who would simply compliment each other and be wholes choosing to stick together.

Also when people talk like this it suggests they think there is someone they are destined to be with because they are two halves of one person. By the amount of relationships romantic people seem to go through i very seriously doubt they honestly think like that.

 

I physically cringe when people say "My other half.."

[Ace of Amethysts]

What's worse is "my better half".

[brsajo]

5 hours ago, Ace of Amethysts said:

I thought you were aro... my life is a lie.

I can see how the fact that I'm on a forum for aros could be misleading... 

[Ace of Amethysts]

2 hours ago, brsajo said:

I can see how the fact that I'm on a forum for aros could be misleading... 

Well, I still like you anyway.

[Mark]

7 hours ago, SamwiseLovesLife said:

Also when people talk like this it suggests they think there is someone they are destined to be with because they are two halves of one person.

From this POV a great deal of "couple's culture" could make sense.

 

7 hours ago, SamwiseLovesLife said:

 By the amount of relationships romantic people seem to go through i very seriously doubt they honestly think like that.

Or they believe they are failing in their quest for "the one".

Though it dosn't appear to be all down to romantic attraction. There are certainly a proportion of aros who very much want a singular "life partner". Whereas others seek more a group/tribe. (With these not being the only options either).
 

[starstuff]

8 hours ago, Mark said:

Though it dosn't appear to be all down to romantic attraction. There are certainly a proportion of aros who very much want a singular "life partner". Whereas others seek more a group/tribe. (With these not being the only options either).
 

I'm one of those in the quest for the "life partner", although I tend to refer to them as my "permanent platonic plus one".  Lol.  It would be nice to not have to attend events as the only person without some sort of partner, then spend half the night on my phone when people split off with their romantic person(s)...

[Mark]

On 17/05/2017 at 1:57 AM, starstuff said:

I'm one of those in the quest for the "life partner", although I tend to refer to them as my "permanent platonic plus one".  Lol.  It would be nice to not have to attend events as the only person without some sort of partner, then spend half the night on my phone when people split off with their romantic person(s)...

I'm very much in the "tribal" group.
Which makes it difficult with certain kinds of event. Since I find myself very much intimidated by "couplefests". If anything this seems to get worst when one is over 25-30
Though being very much of a second class person though not being coupled (or interested in being coupled) is a definite issue.

[Dodecahedron314]

Someone once referred to one of my friends as my "other half", but I figured she was just saying that because I hung out with that friend a lot, and it was at a conference where we were doing a lot of the same events so we were rarely in different places. Now I have to wonder if she was implying that we were dating...?

 

 

[Queen of Spades]

Typical alloromantic person: 

 

*gets a crush*

*dates the person and falls in love soon afterwards*

*starts a relationship*

*considers that person as the most important, and the no. 1 confidante, despite not knowing them well*

*makes grand promises*

*falls out of love*

*no strong bond with the person has been formed in the meanwhile, so it's bye bye*

*meets another person, and it starts all over again*

 

Me: Error 404. 

[SamwiseLovesLife]

38 minutes ago, Ice Queen said:

Typical alloromantic person: 

 

*gets a crush*

*dates the person and falls in love soon afterwards*

*starts a relationship*

*considers that person as the most important, and the no. 1 confidante, despite not knowing them well*

*makes grand promises*

*falls out of love*

*no strong bond with the person has been formed in the meanwhile, so it's bye bye*

*meets another person, and it starts all over again*

 

Me: Error 404. 

So true. So awful. So glad I'm Aro..

[Mark]

1 hour ago, Ice Queen said:

Typical alloromantic person: 

 

*gets a crush*

*dates the person and falls in love soon afterwards*

*starts a relationship*

*considers that person as the most important, and the no. 1 confidante, despite not knowing them well*

*makes grand promises*

*falls out of love*

*no strong bond with the person has been formed in the meanwhile, so it's bye bye*

*meets another person, and it starts all over again*

 

Me: Error 404. 

 

There's also the strange thing about dumping friends when they find "(not) the one".
Yet somehow this dosn't appear to make it as difficult for them to meet new people as one might expect.
(Indeed some seem to find it easy to go from one romantic relationship to another.)

 

[Queen of Spades]

3 hours ago, Mark said:

 

There's also the strange thing about dumping friends when they find "(not) the one".
 

 

This is one of the shittiest things one can do. I hate such people's guts. 

[Ace of Amethysts]

That trope where all you see a couple do is argue, but they can't bear to break up because... romance, I guess?

[Queen of Spades]

Everyone says "I love you" when what they mean in reality is "I'm in love with you", so they use three words so unconsciously that they ascribe them a pseudo-meaning, so they not only give birth quite a few of the myths about aromantics, but also manage to trick a bunch of alloromantics into thinking the two notions are one and the same, so they generate nothing but prejudice and chaos.

 

#butterflyeffect #error404

[Ace of Amethysts]

I think you're overthinking it. My dad says "I love you" to me all the time and we're not romantically involved XD.

[Queen of Spades]

8 hours ago, Ace of Amethysts said:

I think you're overthinking it. My dad says "I love you" to me all the time and we're not romantically involved XD.

Well, exactly what I said. I meant that people generally think the two notions are interchangeable. We should really ask them sarcastically: "what, you mean you're in love with your parents, pets, etc.?"  

[Ace of Amethysts]

3 hours ago, Ice Queen said:

Well, exactly what I said. I meant that people generally think the two notions are interchangeable. We should really ask them sarcastically: "what, you mean you're in love with your parents, pets, etc.?"  

Sarcasm is life.

[TheGreatUnstitched]

Ohhh that thing that couples do where they like seeing their significant other in their clothes. Like it's just your shirt??? On them? Why do you like this so much? Although I do feel like this might just be coming from that it's a trope in a lot of fanfiction. 

[Queen of Spades]

So that classic moment when a man proposes to a woman. He kneels and I'm like why the hell humiliate oneself like that and why is the woman so super enthusiastic? x_x

Oh, and what the hell is with that diamond engagement ring and the fuss about it? Trying to prove what?! Like let's take a large amount of money and set it on fire o.O.