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About TheGreatUnstitched

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    North Carolina
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  1. Ohhh that thing that couples do where they like seeing their significant other in their clothes. Like it's just your shirt??? On them? Why do you like this so much? Although I do feel like this might just be coming from that it's a trope in a lot of fanfiction.
  2. I'm non-binary and I don't think it influences my attraction much at all especially since I'm bisexual. I do hate it when people, especially guys and especially people who are romantically attracted to me volunteer to pay fo things or open doors for me or stuff. I'm not entirely sure whether thats cause it feels too much like falling into traditional gender roles when I don't identify as a woman, or because it feels romantic and In romance-repulsed or whether it's because I'm such an independent person and I don't want help with anything or a combination of all three! I do know I'm much more comfortable if someone who isn't romantically attracted to me and/or if someone who doesn't identify as a man does stuff for me.
  3. For me cuddling is almost entirely platonic and something I do a lot with friends However, if said friend has romantic feelings towards me it becomes really uncomfortable, especially if other people see it as romantic. I think hand holding seems to be mostly romantic? But I don't really have any issues with it I just don't get why you'd do it. I feel like kissing would be something I'd be fine with in a sexual context, but not just randomly if someone wanted to say hi or whatever. And I definitely wouldn't want to be part of those couples making out by the lockers that's gross to me.
  4. Sorry for shouting. But I just read this post- http://cornfllaakes.tumblr.com/post/160217022679/lizardsister-straightallies-pluckydoodle and I cannot understand how people cannot just maybe Google queer platonic instead of dismissing it out of hand. Do they not realize there's a whole group of marginalized people who would not like you to make crappy jokes about their language/relationships? You don't have to understand QPRs at all to respect that they're how some people like to define their relationships and it's not up to you to police how someone defines their personal relationships. And one of the people's url was straitallies! Like you're not being an ally if you're only being an ally to those parts of the LGBT+ community you deem appropriate (I know there's some debate as to whether we are part of the LGBT community but still). Ugh it just made me mad at how people can be so dismissive of something they don't know anything about. Am I over exaggerating here?
  5. TheGreatUnstitched

    My gender

    I can totally relate to being confused about gender! It's such a wibbly-wobbly gendery wendery thing its hard to define it one way or the other. I struggle a lot with the idea that I'm a cis person just thinking I'm non-binary or that I'm not "non-binary" enough to come out to people I see as being more settled in their identities. What's really helped me is seeing it as being a woman as point A and being a man as point B. I don't really feel like I belong on either of those points, so I consider myself non-binary. That being said, I still identify very much as female, as I see that as more of a definition of my biological sex. I am sometimes feminine, sometimes masculine, sometimes neither. What really helped me start to realize how I was not a woman was when I remembered when I hit puberty and everyone started dressing "girly", which I didn't seem to know how to do so I felt and was treated like a bit of an outcast. So I read a teen vogue, and decided to dress girly. But the entire time I dressed in more feminine clothes, it was a very deliberate charade or show I was putting on for others. It was tiring to me, to have to go shopping and put on makeup and do everything so I'd appear as a regular girl. And I saw this great video about non-binary gender identities where one of the people said that feeling comfortable in your gender is not having to try so hard to fit into your gender. So maybe that will help you come to a conclusion? At the end of the day, whatever society or that little inner critic inside of you says; your identity is valid, even if it changes, even if you're not entirely sure what it is. Gender is often times a mess of societal expectations and personal realities that can be really hard to navigate. But in the end it is something you decide, and something other people should respect. P.S. I was really happy when someone called me "sir" for the first time! Although I don't identify as a guy, I feel happy that someone would be confused about my gender, not just immediately labeling me as a girl. So I totally feel you on that one!
  6. Through this lovely video which also was a big factor in me finding out I was aro!
  7. Basically whenever someone announces they're in a romantic relationship I act like I'm really excited for them while on the inside I'm like debating how soon their relationship is going to end. I'm rather cynical/a lot more realistic than allos about relationships so I'm usually like okay....that's going to last....surrrrre but on the outside I'm like you're so cute together!!!! OTP!!!!
  8. I do not understand how it's just assumed/expected that two people in a romantic relationship will instantly have a much stronger bond than friendship. Like, I'll be friends with someone for a really long time, put a lot of time and energy into getting to know them because I care about them and then suddenly they start dating someone and their time with that person becomes so much more valuable than their time with me or other friends. Or people who will confide so much in their significant other that they won't share with their friend. I will never get how the relationship you have with some person you started dating three weeks ago takes precedence over friends you've had for years.
  9. Prom is coming up for me and when I told my mom I wasn't going with a date to prom she asked my twin sister if she could find me a date to which my sister replied "I'm not a miracle worker mom" So. That happened.
  10. Hello! I'm not sure if this topic fits super well in this forum because I'm looking for advice on supporting alloromantic friends. But I feel like the advice of some alloromantic allies might come in real handy here. I'm trying to help out a friend who's alloromantic and I'm not sure how to so I was hoping someone might have some advice. Basically they feel really lonely and sad that they aren't in a romantic relationship-like to the point where its affecting their mental/emotional state seriously and I don't know how to help them with it because I have no idea what it feels like to want to be in a romantic relationship so badly. They know I'm aromantic and are really great about it, but I still feel bad for not being able to understand their issue and help them with it. To make matters worse, one of our mutual friends just started dating someone and is talking about it a bunch in the group chat we're both in. Does anyone alloromantic have any ideas about what they'd like to hear if they were in my friend's situation? Or any aromantics have any advice on how to deal with this? I'm kind of flying blind here.
  11. Hi! My name is Anne and I'm seventeen, attending high school in North Carolina and aromantic. Just scrolling through this website has made me feel so much more certain and accepted in my identity so I have a big thank you for everyone who helped create/manage this website and everyone who participates in it, y'all are all so accepting and nice and made me feel like I'm a part of a community instead of just an isolated individual. I'm excited to interact with/get to know you more. I've very recently discovered that aromantic exists as an orientation and that I am aromantic. At first I was really worried about that as well as my discovery that my gender doesn't really fit into one of two boxes, but now I'm more comfortable with it. I once dated a girl for all of half a week before I decided it was not something I wanted to do at all. I'm perfectly fine with being single and getting all my companionship from friends and family. I have plenty of love, love for science and writing, reading and riding my bike, music and art and French, my friends and my family, why do I need romantic love?
  12. Hello! I'm rather late on this but I wanted to talk a bit on how to explain it if you're allosexual and aromantic. I often have a hard time explaining how I wouldn't want to be in a romantic relationship even though I'd be okay or maybe even happy with a lot of the things that happen in romantic relationships (kissing, sex, cuddling). I usually end up talking about how I don't want to spend that much time with one person or place that much importance on the relationship and value it above friendships but I'm not sure if that really helps them understand how I'm actually repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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