You might be aro if...

[Sili]

Quote

On 2/8/2021 at 6:10 PM, Skylord said:

 You might be aro (and not necessarily ace) if you mistook sexual, platonic, or any other attraction for romantic attraction, then thought that you couldn't possibly be aromantic when you heard the term, simply because attraction makes no sense to you. 

 

On 2/12/2021 at 9:05 AM, Angrboda said:

For me, I suspected that I was Aro when I first heard it being discussed on YouTube. Then I asked myself, "Is that really what I am? But I still think that having some form of significant other might be nice." Then I asked myself the really big question. Why? I came up with 3 answers right away. 1: Sex. 2: As a safety net in case something went terribly wrong. 3: Convenience, so that we can each do the chores that the other one is bad at. I then sat there for 20 minutes trying & failing to think of a 4th reason.

 

On 2/27/2021 at 4:34 AM, Aimee03 said:

I’m aroace and honestly, looking back on my life, I’ve confused other forms of attraction for sexual and romantic attraction simply because I didn’t know any better. I just assumed that’s how everyone else also felt.

 

On 5/19/2021 at 4:24 AM, StanEvelynn said:

PLEASE whenever I play this I just go in order of who I would want to have sex with most->least. Most = marry cuz I can have it more than just the once and down from there lmao

 

On 6/20/2021 at 6:15 PM, roboticanary said:

YMBAI your relationship advice can be summed up as spinning a big wheel with the words 'talk you morons' and 'run away' written on it.

 

On 8/20/2021 at 2:00 PM, Burgundy Ashe said:

YMBAI your relationship looked like friends being friends

 

YMBAI you're playing truth or dare and your friend keeps asking you how you really feel about them and you don't understand why.

 

YMBAI someone has feelings for you and you feel confused as to why, not flattered. 

 

On 9/2/2021 at 5:23 PM, hellphrog said:

Shit makes sense now

YMBAI you just read through this whole thread because you couldn't figure out wether you're actually aro or you just "haven't found the right person yet"

 

On 9/4/2021 at 3:41 PM, nonmerci said:

You might be aro if someone told you "you recognize LOVE when you feel it" and you still have no clue what it is, because you never felt it and so never recognize it.

 

On 9/11/2021 at 1:42 AM, FragileDear said:

You might be aro if you once googled what the purpose of dating was

 

On 9/25/2021 at 11:35 PM, such said:

you might be aro if you've ever just looked at the least unappealing person in the room and thought... "do I have a crush on this person..." "do I...?!" 

(no. the answer was always no.)

 

On 10/10/2021 at 11:20 PM, Kiera the kiwi said:

YMBAI how you describe your ideal relationship sounds a lot like how you describe your ideal friendship

 

On 3/3/2022 at 10:26 PM, TheCloudyEnd said:

YMBAI you didn't realize people actually took relationships seriously until you were like, 17.

 

On 10/21/2021 at 10:19 PM, JustMe said:

YIMBAI if your best friend gets a strong crush and you are thrilled and confused because you don't understand their behavior at the same time

 

Most of the thread, but these are the ones from the last page or so that stick out.

YIMBAI - You have to ask a good friend what having a crush/being in love feels like, and to try not to use cliches or exagerate, because you've been certain for years that everyone was just doing just that.

[arotr]

YMBAI you've googled "am I in love" multiple times and still have no idea what that actually means

[MaikeruSapphire]

YMBAI the things you want in a platonic friendship and the things you'd want in a romantic relationship are the same things

[GoodbyeRepublicServices]

On 6/4/2022 at 7:37 PM, MaikeruSapphire said:

YMBAI the things you want in a platonic friendship and the things you'd want in a romantic relationship are the same things

That is, before you have the awareness to consciously decide that you don't want a romantic relationship.

In junior high, I remember answering some questions from my English class about what I'd want in a romantic partner. I was confused, so I wrote down exactly what I'd want from a good friend (all the while feeling uneasy at the thought of me having a romantic partner!).

[The Gray Warlock]

On 4/9/2016 at 12:03 AM, DannyFenton123 said:

YMBAI you found kiss scenes in the middle of action completely stupid. Like, why are you kissing right now when zombies are about to kill you?

Or having a discussion about your relationship in the middle of a car chase? That's one that always gets me laughing.

On 4/9/2016 at 5:13 PM, PerformativeSurprise said:

 

YMBAI you can't flirt to save your life.

Hell I can never tell when I'm being flirted with!

[SkyTuneRein]

...posting on Arocalypse is romantic enough for you.

[roboticanary]

On 6/30/2022 at 8:47 PM, SkyTuneRein said:

...posting on Arocalypse is romantic enough for you.

I'm just imagining someone in a fancy restaurant, candles, glass of wine in hand, posting random nonsense in the arcade. Its a good image.

 

[Sili]

On 7/1/2022 at 9:47 PM, roboticanary said:

I'm just imagining someone in a fancy restaurant, candles, glass of wine in hand, posting random nonsense in the arcade. Its a good image.

 

You know, I do go to restaurants by myself on a semi regular basis, I might need to take y'all on a date for the next one

[tyledgarlic]

ymba if you can’t understand why you’d date w/o sex/when you can be or already are friends

ymba if “they wouldn’t care that much unless it was a crush” annoys the sh*t out of you

ymba if you hate+/dread dating

[BrainWobbles88]

Mistaking platonic love for romantic feelings

Having a gut feeling that you wont fall in love

Getting into a relationship never feels like a priority

Never meeting somone you are intrested in dating

For those of us who belive in fluidity - feeling like its a thing that could or could not change in the future dosent mean you're not aro just means you could be somwhere on the spectrum.

[Ilikecats]

On 4/8/2016 at 5:06 AM, Cassiopeia said:

You might be aro if you mistook sexual, aesthetic or sensual attraction for a crush.

 

You might be aro if you thought romantic feelings described by others must be exaggerated.

 

You might be aro if you never notice when someone has a crush on you, unless someone points it out to you.

 

You might be aro if you broke somebody's heart by accident, even without realizing it, simply because you underestimated the intensity of their feelings.

 

You might be aro if you felt suffocated and overwhelmed in a romantic relationship.

 

You might be aro if the pet names people gave to their partners, always felt artificial and ridiculous to you.

I relate to all but one of these. 

[Aye]

wow guys turns out i might be aro 

[MaikeruSapphire]

3 hours ago, Aye said:

wow guys turns out i might be aro 

One of us! One of us! One of us!

[EternallyTBD]

Someone else might have already said this but

YMBAI you sometimes want to want a romantic relationship, but you don’t really want a romantic relationship. 

[Aro Archer Author]

YMBAI when you were eight, everyone was having crushes, so you thought you also must and went with your two best friends. (Bonus points if this lead to concluding you were bi for the next six years.)

YMBAI you thought you had a crush and then he cut his hair and you tried desperately to convince yourself you still had a crush on him because surely you weren’t only attracted to how he looked with that haircut and then eventually decided that wasn’t a “real crush” anyway. (Hello there, aesthetic attraction.)

YMBAI you and your friends were discussing your orientations, you said you weren’t sure because you hadn’t had a “real crush” since third grade, your friend said something along the lines of “have we an aro among us?” and you just sort of laughed and brushed it off because you didn’t know what it meant. 
 

YMBAI you wrote in your diary as an eight-year-old “I 1/2 love [the guy everyone had a crush on]” “I 1/4 love [same guy as with the hair I liked later], 1/4 hate him and 1/2 like him” etc. 

[SkyTuneRein]

YMBAI you love, and your one love is, Rocky Road.

 

Edited December 2, 2022 by SkyTuneRein

[AromanticAardvark]

YMBAI you're posting here on Arocalypse

[EternallyTBD]

On 12/1/2022 at 10:24 PM, Arowitharrows said:

YMBAI when you were eight, everyone was having crushes, so you thought you also must and went with your two best friends. 

This practically describes my life. Sadly, though it did last 6 years, it was only one friend so I get no bonus points. 

[night_sky_white_clouds]

This is me questioning.

Might I be an aro if I kinda understand romance but don't really understand it? I understand why people do some really impulsive things out of love, why do they act the way they do and all but in the end, it feels like I didn't really understand it but just tried to understand in an abstract way. Like how I, a teenager kinda can understand how does it feel to lose a child, despite having no such experience. I neither had any crushes nor relationships. 

Edited December 23, 2022 by night_sky_white_clouds

[Isa1116]

YMBAI, you are uncomfortable playing game like smash or pass, kiss marry kill, crush questions in truth or dare because you don't have one, hate or dislike being shiped with people, prefer action, horror and anything not romance based. Reading, writing and/or watching romantic things but not waning it, your chosen/thought to be crush ask you out and you stop liking them. Honestly, there's probably a lot more I can't think of now but that's my list. 😁......

[Aro Archer Author]

On 12/23/2022 at 1:28 AM, night_sky_white_clouds said:

This is me questioning.

Might I be an aro if I kinda understand romance but don't really understand it? I understand why people do some really impulsive things out of love, why do they act the way they do and all but in the end, it feels like I didn't really understand it but just tried to understand in an abstract way. Like how I, a teenager kinda can understand how does it feel to lose a child, despite having no such experience. I neither had any crushes nor relationships. 

Yes. If you’ve never had a crush, you could definitely be aro. You can understand things you don’t personally experience. 

[Sili]

You litterally write posts and talk to people about valentines day in abstract, and at no point do you actually realise its valentines day, and theres a reason people are talking about it.

[Themathlover]

If you've never had any real crushes but have dated/forced yourself to experience them because you felt compelled to follow amatonormativity, it's a clue you're probably aro-spec.

If you've never had any crushes and have never caught the concept of it nor have you ever been able to distinguish it from platonic and/or sexual attraction, you may be aro-spec, and more specifically quoiromantic.

If you've never had any crushes ( and found yourself to be in one or both of the two situations quoted above ) but have experienced sexual attraction dissociated from any other types of attraction, you're certainly alloaro ( also called aroallo ), the contraction of allosexual and aromantic. If you're a girl, it's possible that you struggle more than a guy with this because women are commonly shamed for being sexual beings with desires which are not necessarily connected/rooted in emotional bond. As a quoiromantic hetero-allosexual girl, I want you to get these stereotypes out of your mind RIGHT NOW and live a fulfilled life without restraining your own personality to fit in other's expectations. If you're a guy, I wouldn't like to forget you and under-evaluate your pain, it's the same for you. Don't feel bad for that, it's just the way you are, there's nothing wrong with it. The only thing I want to warn you of is to not develop misconceptions about women, as a woman myself, I can guarantee you it's very painful. Women are humans and they're all different. Break away from sexism, I'm begging you 😭 !

And finally, if one or both of the two first affirmations sound like you and you've never experienced sexual attraction, it's a sign you may be aroace, the contraction of aromantic and asexual. However, you can completely be aroace and appreciate sex, yet alone or with a partner. Being asexual means not feeling sexual attraction, it doesn't necessarily include lacking libido. Being asexual and having sex with someone is possible. You don't feel sexually attracted/aroused by this person but take pleasure from the practices you have with them. In fact, asexuals are all different, some are sex-favorable, or what I've just described to you, others are sex-indifferent, they don't really care but will not automatically refuse sex with someone, and finally, some of them are sex-repulsed, they don't want to engage in any forms of sexual activity with others, except themselves ( masturbation ). Every asexuals are valid with the way they conceive of sex as. What is wrong would be to generalize your condition to every others or every other men/women if you're one and/or degrade them for not being like you. As I have to respect you no matter how you are, you have too towards me. I will try to understand you, and so will you.

That's all I had to say. Hope it helps 😉.

Edited February 21, 2023 by Themathlover

[Mask3D_WOLF]

YMBAI you were aesthetically attracted to someone and thought it was a crush

 

Edit: I feel weak in the presence of such a mighty comment above me, go check that out!

Edited March 8, 2023 by Mask3D_WOLF

[CatNap]

The more I read this, the more convinced I am that I'm aro?-

 

Edited March 23, 2023 by The Lost One