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Aro/Queer Family Members?


ladyasym
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Is there anyone else who has family members with similar sexual/romantic orientations?

 

After I told my parents that I was aro (and what aromanticism was), they both think they're aro-spec, and I have at least one grey-ace sibling (the other two haven't shown any kind of preference/non-preference yet). 

 

*also I use queer just as a general term for 'outside the cis-alloro-het norm', I'm sorry if it offends or excludes anyone. :)

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Sadly I doubt I will be coming out to the vast majority of my blood family because of various reasons, some of which I have mentioned in other topics, so I will probably never know. Even if my cousins came out, because of the family dynamic, it is doubtful I would even find out. 

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10 hours ago, ladyasym said:

Is there anyone else who has family members with similar sexual/romantic orientations?

 

Nope :(. I've got good relationships with my family members, but all of them are very 'amatonormative', let's say. I wish I had known somebody else oriented similarly to me; I think it might have resulted in me being less out of touch with and alienated from my own romantic orientation (I think I sort of picked up the idea by osmosis that anything outside of long-term monogamous romance was a bit dubious, or mis-treating your partner somehow, since that was what my family members' acted-out relationships seemed to imply)

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  • 4 months later...

Coming from a scientific perspective, I love hearing the answers to questions like this. There's more than just genetics at work in us, it seems.

I've come out to a few members of my family, but as far as I know everyone's pretty cis and hetero. I've made sure to explain aromanticism to my little cousins, so that they can grow up knowing this is an option (my aunties are far more amatonormative than my mom), but alas, no aros have revealed themselves yet. 

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I would really like to know if any relatives of mine has Aro tendencies. It's a hard topic to bring up casually though. I have an uncle who never married, but who knows why. It could be everything from aro to bad luck in relationships. My brother is similar to him I think, they have similar personalities. My brother has never talked about any kind of romantic relationship even though he's 25. I'll have to ask him sometimes when given the opportunity. It feels sensitive somehow, that people might see it as some kind of questioning of their social skills. Of course my own aromanticism makes it easier to bring it up.

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I asked my brother if he were aro. He told me he wasn't, but he's 27, never been in a relationship and don't want to be in one. Maybe that's just because he doesn't believe in love, but still; I'm wondering if he answered "no" just because he was discovering the concept (first time I heard about it I was in denial as well).

On the other hand, my father is the most alloromantic person I've ever met. I don't even tell him I'm aro because  I know he won't understand.

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Aros? In my family? HA! That's a funny joke. As if I could be that lucky, lmao.

My middle brother is trans and I guess bi or pan or something, but I don't feel like we can relate to each other in that way at all. He's said some pretty nasty things about me being aro before. And now the little brat apparently had the audacity to buy himself a Jughead beanie... It makes me so pissed off. Ugh. Can't I have anything nice?

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  • 2 months later...

While trying to casually bring up the idea that, "I'm not really interested in dating or getting a boyfriend or any of that stuff," (and after being reassured that some people just aren't interested until later in life) my Grandma mentioned that a couple of her aunties never married. Of course I know never married doesn't = aromantic, but it was a time when most women were getting married. Hm.

Also I suppose you could consider my father to be aromantic, but I don't know if brain damage related extreme social aversion truly counts. Does it?

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My mother said she's demisexual like me, but I'm not sure how much she considers herself 'not-100%-hetero'.

 

Coming out as nonbinary, as demisexual and as bi has been really stressful to me, even if my parents support me in theory... I'm probably not telling them I'm aroflux unless it comes up, so it would be hard to talk about romantic orientation/being on the aro spectrum with them.

 

I know I have a cousin who as far as I know is a cis girl who I'm told has kissed a girl, so she may be sapphic, but I don't have enough contact with her to know what her orientation and gender really are. A part of my family is really into conservative Christianity so I know they wouldn't say anything if they were outside of the norm, and while the rest is more "liberal" I have no way to be sure either. 

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In general my family is all about amatonormative relationships  despite the orientation , so I  pass as the cold heartless shallow lone wolf . 

In recent times, I think that one of my grandparents (dad's family) probably was aro so I think maybe it manifests in the family every other generation 😂😂😂

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I have a lesbian relative on my mom's side, but i've never met her and other than that there's no one i'm aware of. Pretty sure my family has never heard of aromanticism (i'm not out), but even if they had they all seem pretty alloro to me.

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18 hours ago, Naegleria fowleri said:

While trying to casually bring up the idea that, "I'm not really interested in dating or getting a boyfriend or any of that stuff," (and after being reassured that some people just aren't interested until later in life) my Grandma mentioned that a couple of her aunties never married. Of course I know never married doesn't = aromantic, but it was a time when most women were getting married.

When and where would this have been?
In many Western cultures marriage appears to have hit a "peak" around the mid 20th century.
Even then "most" would mean between 70-80%.
 

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Everyone seems very much alloromantic in my family. I don't even think I know anyone irl who knows the term aromantic. When I explained it to my mom she said, "duh, of course you are" and that was the most understanding response I have gotten. I haven't told any other family though, especially not my poor granny who has finally given up asking when I am going to get married. 

 

I don't have family as far as I who are pansexual. At some point my sister said she was bi-curious but I don't think that's still the case? I have some friends and acquaintances who are pan.

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3 hours ago, Mark said:

When and where would this have been?

 

Canada, and my grandma's in her early sixties so I guess the people in question would have been born anywhere between the thirties and the fifties, ballpark? I don't really know, I didn't ask. I'm just very curious as to whether or not aromanticism has a genetic component, and to what extent that's the case, so I took careful note of this tidbit.

 

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