Neir

Welcome to the community. Since you're a pastry chef, you may appreciate this food-related welcome gift of aro ice cream:

Welcome! You're in good company; many cat lovers in this community.

Hi Alex. I'm a bit late to the welcome committee but I wanted to leave an aro ice cream as a little welcome gift. I've grown quite attached to this little welcome ritual.

Content

I feel you. Aromanticism (and a lot of other queer identities) are often pathologized, thought to be illness or dysfunction. I've experienced similar so you're not alone. Exactly that. I couldn't agree with you more. Emotions are tricky things and if others can't understand and accept that then that's their closed-mindedness and ignorance. I hope that with more education about aromanticism, and even about how the brain and experiences and identity are tied together, people will be more tactful when they speak to aros.

I'm an aro also near the Toronto area! Hello! I did attend an Ace Toronto meeting and found it accepting of aros, but I'm not a regular so I can't say more definitively. They hold some really neat discussion sessions. I heard they've been meaning to rebrand to a-spec at some point. The queer folks at UofT I found to be quite inclusive, but apart from schools I'm not too sure. I would look up events and groups that meet at The 419; that's essentially the queer center of the city. Hope that helps! And if any other Torontonian comes along with recs, I'd be happy to hear as well.

Welcome! So nice to have you. Have some aro ice cream as a welcome gift:

I think it's definitely possible. I haven't heard of a specific term for this, but I know some people use the broader "physical attraction" when it can't quite be pinned down or labelled.

First!

Fourteen!

For people who are not as familiar with aromanticism (at least on a deep level), I've seen people talk about amatonormativity in a way that shows how harmful emphasizing romantic relationships is. I know a lot of friends of mine who, for example, will easily talk with me about how society is so obsessed with romance and marriage and how they feel pressured to get into relationships when they are happy single or simply have other priorities in life at that moment. I remember there being a recent article about Emma Watson talking about being self-partnered, for example, and there are much much older articles talking about people of all genders and ages who feel pressure from their parents, family, friends, and society to have a relationship (even a toxic one) so they won't be "alone." Even though they are happy. I am sure you can find stories like these, even if they don't straight up use the word "amatonormativity." There are a lot of feminist principles you can talk about side by side with amatonormativity and just general individual empowerment and personal choice. Over time, bringing up aromantics as people who are especially affected by amatonormativity can be a way to tie it back to your identity without becoming too academic or filled with aro-specific words. Hope that at least helps for a start!

I've heard of alterous attraction be described kind of like the non-binary equivalent of attraction types and I like that analogy. I personally feel alterous attraction. AUREA has a couple of definitions: "An interest or desire for emotional closeness without necessarily being platonic and/or romantic. A significant attraction that is related to other attractions (e.g., romantic). A significant attraction that is unrelated to any other attractions" I know that, for me personally, if I'm alterously attracted to someone I don't necessarily want a particular relationship or partnership, but emotional closeness is something important to me. It feels different from platonic or romantic attraction, but I know that for some people, other kinds of attraction like that can be part of it (like how for some people romantic attraction also has to come with platonic). It's intended to be a loose term with no strict definition. Alterous attraction, if someone identifies with that label, can manifest in many different ways depending on the person. I hope that helps!

Welcome to the forums! Have some complementary aro ice cream: The identity journey, especially when considering aromanticism, can be wild and confusing, but there's a lot you can learn from poking about on these forums and chatting with others. It's nice to see your enthusiastic spirit. Everything said by @Queasy_Attention is also great. I'll add on to say that some aromantic people do feel romantic emotions but still call themselves aro because it's the closest or best label for their experiences. Emotions are really complicated and it's hard to fit perfectly into a box sometimes. Other than that, my advice is to take things slow! There's a lot of info out there and I know even I am still learning every day. It's kind of fun that way, though.

Welcome back

I'm happy to see all these responses; it is very wholesome. I am back today to publicly announce to myself (what a strange thing to say lol): Another thing I like about myself is that I care very deeply about others and do everything in my power to make my loved ones happy.