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About Neir

  • Rank
    Research Nerd With Too Much Motivation And Not Enough Time
  • Birthday 12/26/1995

Personal Information

  • Name
  • Orientation
    Arospec, Aroflux, Grey-asexual
  • Gender
  • Pronouns
    E(y)/Em/Eir Singular
  • Location
  • Occupation
    Graduate Student

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2901 profile views
  1. Good luck on your school project! I hope you can get many interesting responses. It's always nice to see people looking at aromanticism in their academic pursuits. I admit I got stuck at the question that asked me to choose from aroace, aroallo, and non-SAM aro. I personally don't identify strongly with any of those. I explained more in the feedback section as well, but in case anyone else got stuck too, I want them to know you know about it.
  2. Welcome We're glad to have you. It's really tough to want to be a parent and want close relationships in societies where that's frowned upon unless you're romantically involved with someone. It's damaging to many family structures and to happiness, so I absolutely understand where you're coming from. I've struggled a lot with this impending inevitable loneliness. It's unfortunately a huge sociocultural barrier, often written into law directly and indirectly. It'll take a long time to fight for but it's still possible and I know of people who live these kinds of lives now, even if they're in the tiny minority. I'm glad you've reached out while you're still questioning! I think many people here (and in person, once meetup groups resume) will be able to support you. I'm only aware of an aro group in London (HERE), and two general a-spec groups in England (HERE and HERE). I'm not in the area but those may be a start.
  3. Neir


    Welcome! Join us for some aro ice cream: I also very much relate to this story and I'm glad to hear you've found your way over to us and come to some acceptance.
  4. Neir

    I'm not proud.

    Sharing these kinds of feelings is no doubt hard and I really feel for you. I don't have an answer for you, which sucks, but do know that there's a whole community of folks who are standing with you (including some demiros and aros who identify with the demiro experience even if they don't use the label). It's really easy to get down on yourself and it really is ok to not have literal tonnes of pride spewing from your body at every moment (or at all). Pride Month can get overwhelming that way. Living with amatonormativity is hard and I won't pretend it's not. Just know you're not broken. Sometimes it takes socializing with different crowds and different people to find a space where you can feel better heard, more optimistic, and loved and supported. There are many many people in the world (and connected through here!) who you have yet to meet that will stand by you. If you ever need us, for a vent or a listening ear, I know there are some of us around who wouldn't mind a DM or just a back and forth like this.
  5. Neir

    would you rather

    Oh, good one. I think I would rather watch my least favourite TV show for the rest of my life (because you didn't say only that TV show ). Would you rather write a lab report or an essay?
  6. Welcome! As a baking lover, I'm sure you'll appreciate some aro ice cream as a welcome: (Though, is ice cream-making considered baking? Now I'm second-guessing...)
  7. Oh, oops! I apologize, @Mark, I had totally misread the title of that survey - it was not, in fact, the one I conducted. (I looked at that number and thought, "That's not quite right..." and then did quite the impressive facepalm. No more forum-treading in the early hours of the morning for me.) I still think the comments you had are useful and applicable to the one I did run though (which was the aro-spec identities and experiences of stigmatization survey a while back).
  8. Welcome! Have some aro ice cream as a welcome gift:
  9. @Mark This was the research I conducted, so thanks for this comment! The distinctions between sex are actually really interesting - I wonder if we could capture those in a later survey (perhaps through the AUREA census in a couple of years when we re-open). As for repulsion x orientation, the numbers were not large enough to do a repulsion correlation with orientation that would in any way be useful or representative statistically. @TripleA I highly recommend checking AUREA's Research tab here: https://www.aromanticism.org/en/research Aromanticism is not a common topic of study academically but there are a few things there that are great (notably, a thesis by C. Lang in 2018). There are also a couple of a-spec works. It's a growing list and I've heard buzzes of upcoming aro research in the future so it'll be interesting to see.
  10. Yes! You put into words something I noticed when I entered into a queer relationship last year. I'm not sure if it was a romantic situation for me, but I did notice that I was all right with many things that I would get very uncomfortable doing with any other person or even just seeing. Things like physical affection, flirting, etc. It was quite hilarious actually because the person I was in a relationship with watched a romantic comedy with me (I usually hate rom coms because they trigger repulsion and major eye-rolling) and I was uncomfortable throughout, but when we did similar things afterwards, some with ambiguous or potentially romantic intent, I was fine. I think it helps that you've mentioned your current partner is someone you genuinely like. Perhaps you feel safer with that person and better understood, so you're not as worried about certain things being incorrectly labelled or misunderstood. Humans are weird and complicated, and sometimes we have exceptions that don't fit our general pattern, or our patterns are a little more complex than one-dimensional. Circumstances are powerful. All that to say you have a relateable experience. Thank you for sharing it; it's nice to know someone else has something similar going on.
  11. Neir


    Welcome, fellow writer! I think you'll find some good people here and I hope we can help you out and learn from each other. Have some more aro ice cream from me too:
  12. What an interesting thing to come across when just casually living in the world. I think I can get both interpretations. The person looks surprised by the hearts. On one hand they are blushing so I could see people reading that as excitement, but on the other hand I feel like the eyebrows make me think the person is a bit worried. It's like this moment was captured right as they were about to land on an expression. For some reason I first thought that the hearts were coming from the phone but on second glance it seems obvious they are surrounding the person. I think it's quite interesting that interpretation can change (and discussion can be had!) based on our experiences. Art truly is a subjective experience, huh. (Beautiful art, by the way! I really like the style by this artist.)
  13. One thousand nine hundred and twenty-two (I admit I do not remember where the hyphens go... I am infinitely sorry to my grade school English teacher)
  14. For this short while, I will claim the 1st place spot on the podium
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