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aro_elise

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Everything posted by aro_elise

  1. aro_elise

    there's a cute guy in my class but i'm not about to just talk to him, you know? 

  2. aro_elise
    so i can't do it from the saved image because that's not a url (it's like IMG whatever numbers) so i tried to do it from my tumblr and that didn't work either...? and i don't get the 'from existing attachments' thing, how would i have one? the wild thing is i know i've done it before, somehow. '
  3. aro_elise
    this conversation: piper: jason's great. he's my closest friend, even more than annabeth. but whatever i thought was there, my happily-ever-after...it just wasn't. apollo: your relationship was born in crisis. such romances are difficult to sustain once the crisis is over. piper: it wasn't just that. apollo: *anecdote about an ex* piper: it was me. apollo: what do you mean it was you? you mean you realized you didn't love jason? that's no one's fault. narration: she grimaced, as if i (apollo) still hadn't grasped what she meant...or perhaps she wan't sure herself. piper: i know it's nobody's fault. i do love him. but...like i told you, hera forced us together--the marriage goddess, arranging a happy couple. my memories of starting to date jason, our first few months together, were a total illusion. then, as soon as i found that out, before i could even process what it meant, aphrodite claimed me. my mom, the goddess of love. aphrodite pushed me into thinking i was...that i needed to...look at me, the great charmspeaker. i don't even have words. aphrodite expects her daughters to wrap men around our little fingers, break their hearts, et cetera. apollo: yes. your mother has definite ideas about how romance should be. piper: so if you take that away, the goddess of marriage pushing me to settle down with a nice boy, the goddess of love pushing me to be the perfect romantic lady or whatever-- apollo: you're wondering who you are without all that pressure.
  4. aro_elise

    it's aromantic awareness week! :aropride:

  5. aro_elise
    this is the latest tea: shakespeare was aromantic. don't @ me ?
  6. aro_elise

    i might be going to a seminar on platonic affection and love languages!  i just saw it on fb.  in the description they didn't mention aromanticism but they did mention amatonormativity; it sounds cool.

    1. NullVector

      NullVector

      That does sound cool. You should report back to us re. what gets discussed if you do go! :)

    2. NotHeartless

      NotHeartless

      I'd love to hear how it was, too. Sounds great, if you go: have fun!

    3. Anything_but_allo

      Anything_but_allo

      Awesome! Hope it goes well :D

  7. aro_elise
    i've talked about my favourite aro headcanon of all time: piper from rick riordan's 'heroes of olympus' series, followed by luna from 'harry potter' as aro/ace. also arospec: the title character in jane austen's 'emma,' rosa from 'brooklyn nine-nine,' joey from 'friends,' dean from 'supernatural,' and barney and robin from 'how i met your mother'. i'm sure i'm forgetting some, i pretty much find an hc in every book/show. i have some from the old movies i watch but i figure you wouldn't know them.
  8. aro_elise
    i agree. you've probably seen her video about why she's single, which since she made it before she came out does not include the reason that she's aro. i actually related to what she said in it too, which i'm sure isn't a coincidence but i thought she made some good points without actually mentioning aromanticism. and i do like some of her other videos.
  9. aro_elise
    depends how warm i am. usually cool in summer or after exercise, warm the rest of the time. not hot or cold.
  10. aro_elise
    I like Parker J, he's trans; I actually started watching before he came out. I watched a bit of Connie Glynn because she's aro (and bisexual) but she doesn't talk about it much. I've seen some of Ash's stuff, they're pretty good.
  11. aro_elise

    i find myself thinking i'd like to meet a guy...exactly what sort of relationship i want, i don't know, but i've been single for almost 3 years and, well, if nothing else it would stir up some drama in my life. ?‍♀️

  12. aro_elise
    i go to estonian lutheran church on holidays. my mom taught me to pray every night, and for a while i did, of my own accord; now i do it occasionally. i declined the opportunity for confirmation because i believe in God more than i believe in organized religion and i don't need to prove anything. for me, a relationship with God is natural and wonderful; i don't identify with the sentiment some Christians share (or my interpretation of it), that they worship God because He gives them strength. I mean, He does, but that's not why i turn to Him--He's just there, in good times and bad, and while i of course can't confirm his presence, i certainly can't deny it.
  13. aro_elise
    no worries, i've been vegan for over 3 years and vegetarian for another 10.
  14. aro_elise

    i saw someone (not on here) whose username had 'aro' in it so i messaged her asking, "like aromantic?"  she goes "how do you know???"  apparently she'd never met any others.  we had a good chat.

    1. Ace of Amethysts

      Ace of Amethysts

      Awesome!

  15. aro_elise
    the mcr one made me laugh, i love them
  16. aro_elise
    i made this reply to a new male member wondering about the same thing: "yeah, ok, i've been thinking about this. idk how to phrase this but a possible reason for more women identifying as aro is that it's more...noticeable to us? because of the stereotype that women are more romantic and men are more sexual, like, i think some guys just don't really think much of it. and it seems tied to heteronormativity, so being heterosexual could definitely be a part of it. (i know that made it hard for me to realize i was aro. the whole "you just haven't found the right person" rhetoric is thrown around in an apparent effort to assure us we're 'normal' and we kind of believe it.) anyway, the ratio of actual aro-spec men compared to women and non-binary people could be more even, maybe even in favour of men (idk, hypothetically) but it's like, 'oh, that's how it's supposed to be.' is that off-base? i mean, a lot of people don't recognize the difference between not prioritizing relationships/"serious" relationships (ugh, that's a whole other discussion) or not being one for overt romantically-coded expression, and actually not experiencing romantic attraction, i.e. being aro. including many aros, at first. sorry, that's a lot to introduce right away. just a taste of the kind of discussions we get into here. ? welcome."
  17. aro_elise
    i do that too. a waitress described a special which contained "aromatic spices" and when she left i said to my parents "i can't hear that word anymore."
  18. aro_elise

    off topic but after i relapsed with self harm i asked my roommate to take my blades (and the one from the blender, in case).  it was uncomfortable but i'm kind of proud of myself.  you have to make deliberate decisions to heal.

    1. NullVector

      NullVector

      It's good that you have friends like that. I think it's really important to recognise that we can't do everything by ourselves (actually, it may be unhealthy to tell ourselves that we can, particularly when trying to make positive changes in our lives to do with breaking old habits?) and to feel able to ask for support from other people. Even (especially?) when it feels awkward to do it.

       

      Now I just need to try taking my own advice there more, hah.

    2. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      thanks.  i remind myself that if i ever want to start seeing a therapist again, find one.  i do tend to wait until the damage is done rather than take precautions to prevent it in the first place but i'm working on it.  good luck to you too.

    3. NullVector

      NullVector

      I reckon it takes a bit of practice to pick up on things earlier, before they get out of hand. A bit like keeping your balance on a tightrope or slack line (I was trying this the other day, lol). At first you make a few big movements and fall off a lot; but if you can learn to make a lot of smaller, more frequent corrections, you keep your balance better (random analogy, but maybe it helps?)

       

      I'm doing better recently, actually. Made myself get out of the house more to interact with people. It helps.

  19. aro_elise
    sorry to derail the conversation but if you have any questions i'd be glad to help. i'm sure you'll only regret not doing it sooner. good luck.
  20. aro_elise
    it didn't work on me. ?‍♀️ i put 'born aro'. yeah, it can be fluid, but like @running.tally i think that's a dangerous way to describe it because it's used to suggest that queer people will become not queer, and even if it does change, it doesn't invalidate previous identities. i've always been aro (even if i didn't always know it) and i feel strongly that i always will be.
  21. aro_elise
    @David Box @eatingcroutons i once had someone (online) tell me i was lucky to be aro. they were very emphatic, describing the assumed advantages and asking "do you even realize how lucky you are?" tbh it kind of bothered me. like, i agreed with some of what they said, but there are also disadvantages. i felt like it wasn't their place to tell me how good i had it when they couldn't understand--hadn't even thought of--many of the experiences shared by aros, not to mention the ones i personally had, which were some of the worst of my life. it's not just avoiding romantic heartbreak and drama. and i told them that.
  22. aro_elise
    If only others tired of saying we're "too young" or "just haven't met the right person" as quickly as we tire of hearing it. Your experience with romantic relationships sounds similar to mine and I doubt either of our identities will change, but as @Holmbo said, it wouldn't matter if they did. I've identified as aro for about 3 years and my feelings about this identity have only grown stronger and more positive. As long as I have good friends, which I do, I won't wish for a long-term romantic relationship. If you do want something besides friendship, look into the concept of queerplatonic relationships, which are committed, very close platonic relationships which may or may not include romantic and/or sexual elements and may look similar to traditional relationships/marriage in other ways such as cohabitation, sharing finances, etc. In any case, I hope you have/find meaningful relationships which work for you. Welcome to the community.
  23. aro_elise

    just btw, i'll gladly answer pretty much any question you have for me, whether apropos of something i wrote or of nothing.  i may not be thrilled with everything allos ask me, but i know you guys are always motivated by genuine interest and open-mindedness and i love talking to you.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Eklinaar

      Eklinaar

      Whew, I can relate to this a lot.  People thinking it's acceptable to blow off their friends irritates me a lot.  My first long-term girlfriend regularly criticized me for not blowing off my friends to be with her instead, and I told her that was a shitty thing for her to ask me to do, but she maintained it was not.  It's frustrating that mistreating friends is normalized.

       

      I think I'm out of questions for now, but this has been great.  Feel free to contact me any time if you want to talk.  There have been some interesting conversations on Tumblr lately about the intersection of aromanticism and polyamory, though I think a lot of it would just be really obvious to you.

    3. NullVector

      NullVector

      Just wanted to say to both of you that I really enjoyed reading this conversation :). Good questions from @Eklinaar and interesting and thoughtful responses from @aro_elise.

    4. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      thanks, both of you.  (ahh i haven't been on in a while!)  i've enjoyed it, too.  i do follow a few aro blogs on tumblr.

  24. aro_elise
    wow, this is so interesting to me 'cause i'm definitely not demi. so that's the best perspective i can contribute: it sounds like this is the case for you since you are demi, based on the fact that i can't relate. basically, i'd sleep with any guy(s) (i'm poly) i was significantly attracted to and felt comfortable with, if the situation presented itself. it just hasn't (well, with my ex, but long story). my sex drive is unrelated to this. a relationship like that does sound cool, but i'm glad you're still close with him.
  25. aro_elise
    ok i can't find it but you know the meme of the guy looking at a butterfly like "is this _____?" well in this version the butterfly was 'any positive feeling towards another person,' the guy was 'me before i knew i was aro' or something, and it said 'is this romantic attraction?'
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