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aro_elise

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Everything posted by aro_elise

  1. i had a dream my best friend and i were married platonically.  it was cute but i don't actually want to. 

  2. yeah i'm not sure i'm very good at describing it. have you heard the analogy to a craving for a certain food? i think it's the best one there is. it can really vary, like i can just see someone briefly and think he's hot and that's it, not think any more about it, or it can be very strong attraction, which involves explicit sexual thoughts, physical sensations like arousal and a sort of fluttery feeling in my chest, and sexual frustration (either i can't have him at all or if i am sleeping with him then outside of those very moments i think about it a lot). also i sometimes get nervous when interacting with someone i find sexually attractive, which doesn't happen with just aesthetic attraction.
  3. in a sexual context i absolutely love it.
  4. no such novels featuring adult female characters come to mind but there are coming-of-age ones like a tree grows in brooklyn by betty smith and invitation to the waltz by rosamond lehmann, and then there are non-fiction feminist works like the second sex by simone de beauvoir, the feminine mystique by betty friedan, and a room of one's own by virginia woolf. note that all of these are 60-100 years old (i read mostly classic literature) but i think it's really helpful to have that perspective and i absolutely recommend these to everyone.
  5. hi! the farthest i'll go is metalcore, i like ice nine kills, architects, and spiritbox.
  6. i could describe what's important to me in a friend and what i'd like in a sexual partner (my "type"), and i guess combining them would result in my ideal fwb, but that's it. nothing would make me want to date someone. and i wouldn't love anyone more than my existing best friend.
  7. why do i use the 'aromantic' label? well, because it describes my experience. it would no matter what word was used, so i might as well use the accurate one. you know what they say: "aros by any other name..." full disclosure, not completely original, i saw a similar punchline with a totally different setup. in case you're not familiar, the expression is "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet," meaning we make up and assign words to things, but the things are what they are regardless.
  8. when you're briefly startled whenever you're reminded people have romantic partners. the particular moment i'm thinking of is when the guy i'm sleeping with mentioned an ex of his and i was like, oh right, it would be more surprising if he didn't have any. but yeah it happens pretty much every time.
  9. lmao i took an aro survey and the options for sexual orientation were lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and other.  so that's the first and probably last time i've checked 'other' for my sexual orientation and a listed option for my romantic orientation.

  10. late 1940s-early '50s.
  11. today i met up with 4 people from a group for child-free women in my city and i mentioned i'm aro (i wanted to talk about amatonormativity and relationship anarchy at that point in the conversation) and it went well.  one of them had just days ago learned about aromanticism and listened to podcasts because she was curious about it, and she asked me a few things.  so that was nice.

  12. just saw a tumblr post which called being allo aro/allo ace "none pizza with left attraction".  amazing

  13. the first time i went to pride (with my lesbian friend and her queer friends, including another aro) i was so nervous. which is silly because anyone's allowed to go. like it's on public streets. but anyway. if you mean in general, do i feel that other people consider me to be lgbt+? sometimes. but i consider myself to be, so there we are.
  14. just allo aro things: i was taking a survey about female sexuality and media, and i got to the last page which was personal agree/disagree statements, and several were n/a because of my aromanticism so i couldn't finish it.  

  15. so i'm "talking to" this guy (i hate that term but idk what else to say lol) and it came up that i'm aro and he was super cool about it (he's familiar with it) and he seems super cool in general.  so that's nice

    1. HelloThere

      HelloThere

      That's surprisingly rare tbh, most aren't educated on that subject at all. XD

    2. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      i know!  he's bi, maybe that has something to do with it?  actually relatively recently i had a similarly chill experience, it was a group of people, some guy asked everyone like "how important to you is sex in a relationship?" and of course that didn't make sense to me, i was like "i wouldn't be in a relationship" and this girl asked me "are you ace?" and i replied "aro" and she said "cool" and that was it.  she's also bi.

    3. HelloThere

      HelloThere

      Yeah, I guess that’s a common thing. Often whenever someone is lgbtq they tend to know a lot more than others. I mean I’ve told a couple of my friends my concerns. My friend has 2 kids who I’m like 90% sure are both bi. I forgot the rest of the specifics but the other kid in my friend group might be aro himself. :D

  16. so i consistently get hangovers now when i have several drinks.  i didn't used to.  and they suck so i'm going to try limiting myself to one drink in an evening (which will also save money).  realistically i'll probably have 2 sometimes but yeah that's my boring update

    1. Nix

      Nix

      That sucks, being an adult can be fun but stuff like this makes me feel old :(

    2. The Aro Mando Echo

      The Aro Mando Echo

      Man I hope limiting it helps a bit, that sucks 

  17. i have a date on friday, my first one since with my high school bf (the other times i've hooked up, we just met up at my or their place) so yeah i'm nervous.  he seems cool though.  and yes i've made it clear i want to keep it casual or however the allos phrase it.  anyway...that's my life update

    1. AromanticAardvark

      AromanticAardvark

      I hope it goes well! Have a good time

    2. aro_elise
    3. Keith

      Keith

      Have fun!! I'm crossing my fingers for you 🤞 (I'm not sure if it's the right emoji help)

  18. yes! i've known people like this. the cringy thing is, i feel like in grade 12 i lowkey did that--"my boyfriend" this, "my boyfriend" that. i was pleased with myself for my achievement in amatonormativity, lol. but the older you are, the weirder it is.
  19. i hope you don't mean irl lol. i mean, if my options were like, the hottest, the most delightful, and the most horrible person ever (hmm...david cassidy, lucille ball, josef stalin), sure, the choice would be clear, but the point of the game is it's supposed to be somewhat difficult. once in university someone asked me to choose out of three women in our friend group and i managed to name the most aesthetically attractive, then my closer friend, then the remaining one, but i just don't find making unpleasant choices fun, like "would you rather" where you have to pick the less objectionable scenario, i'm like "neither. i'll cross that bridge when i get to it." 🤷‍♀️
  20. i was going to say. but let’s talk about f***, marry, kill: first of all, i don’t want to marry or kill anyone!
  21. i know it’s 2023 and i’m aro, but i’d marry 1980s dana carvey (kidding but like…barely)

  22. your title made me laugh, i love that episode.
  23. no, i just find it weird to touch people without permission especially if you're not close with them. i don't think i felt differently before i realized how uncomfortable i was with romantic touch (during my romantic relationship)--i don't think anything much happened before that, you know, besides hugging family and friends.
  24. i definitely subconsciously felt pressure to date in high school. much less to have sex, though, probably since it wasn't something many of my friends/peers were doing--and after high school i didn't care what others were doing. people are weird about it though, virginity past a certain age. my parents and i don't talk about it at all, like i haven't acknowledged to them that i've ever had sex, but the only thing my mom ever said about it, when i was younger, was not to feel pressured to do it because other people were. if only i'd heard the same advice about dating. i feel that there's a lot more pressure regarding that. like, people are more likely to understand that you're not comfortable with sex, compared to with romance--they're more likely to see the latter as a problem. i'd be interested to hear an aro ace perspective. anyway, i don't totally feel like an adult but that's not because of my aromanticism. navigating adult life outside of the framework of a romantic partnership (or the pursuit of one) may be a strange concept to allos, but to me, of course, it's natural.
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