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About LauraG

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  • Name
    Laura G
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    Greyromantic Asexual
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  1. This analogy does not really work in the given situation. To me, at least, a more adequate analogy would be something falling on person A's foot, but person A thinks person B stepped on it, so person A snaps at them. Person B says it wasn't them in reaction to being snapped at in an annoyed tone, and person A says "how dare you ignore my pain, you could have just apologized" Which like, maybe it'd be nice for them to acknowledge that person B is hurt (apologizing still seems like a bit much), but given the fact that person A started out by snapping at person B, and when there's a history of pe
  2. To play devil's satan*, first you don't need platonic attraction to have friends. Second, It would makes total sense to me to say "more than friends" when you mean "the relationship I have with them is based on romantic attraction in addition to the platonic one" (not all romantic relationship are like that). But most people would understand it as "this relationship counts more in the absolute relationship hierarchy because ... amatonormativity !", and that doesn't make any iherent sense, regardless of your orientation. And third, serendipity and the gray area of the aro
  3. You're really not listening to my problem here are you? I've said multiple times your example came across as 'this is the only kind of aplatonic' (aka erasing other kinds). I know it probably wasn't meant that way, but that's how it sounded. At this point I think I'm also going to take a step back from this conversation, because I honestly can't explain myself any differently then I have, and I don't think I can state things any clearer, so if you're not getting my point by now, I doubt I can change that. This feels like @Coyote is talking about how ix meant the original
  4. Also as perhaps a point of clarification, I don't think @Coyote, by asking why aplatonic should be included in aspec, means to imply that there isn't a reason why aplatonic could be grouped with ace and aro, but rather that aplatonic should only be included in that grouping if it makes sense and there's a reason for it, so Coy is asking about what that reason is in a legitimate sense. Coy you can correct me if I'm wrong here. For example, ace and aro inclusion in the broader queer and LGBTQ+ community makes sense because that's already a broad coalition of groups that defy cishetero norms
  5. Re-reading Magni's response, I personally don't see how how this connects with what ze was saying, since ze said multiple times that what upset zem was more than just the definition. However, if the complaint was just that the definition used was not broad enough, that's fair. I'm a strong supporter of broad, inclusive definitions. -- For the record, I'm also coming to this conversation as someone who ostensibly could identify as aplatonic. I personally don't find the label itself useful, as I don't distinguish between romantic/platonic feelings and I find my aromantic/grayromantic l
  6. I really don't know why Laura and Sennkestra are doing that either. I'll let them speak for themselves, of course. Mostly I just feel like people so often choose to interpret the things you say with the worst possible interpretation (for @VoidArcana's reference, since you mentioned being new here, this has a broader context than just this thread). Assuming positive intent of others is a value of mine, and as a result this pattern frustrates me. @VoidArcana I'm curious what your answer is to this question before I respond to the content of your response.
  7. @CoyoteI don't like how you seem to be equating aplatonic with, like, just some allo person going "I don't love my friends"? It reminds me of exclusionist rhetoric and the ways people have ridiculed the term aplatonic. (idk how to word this better rn but can try to elaborate later if needed) @Magni Is there something wrong with the idea of an allo person identifying as aplatonic because they don't love their friends? I don't see how there's anything wrong with what @Coyote said unless you're assuming that there's something wrong with saying "I don't love my friends," or assuming tha
  8. Suggestion for the future: please include "neither yes nor no" as an option on future surveys whenever there's a yes/no/unsure question (for me personally, this was an issue on the "is your partnership romantic" question, but I'm sure it will be a thing for others on other questions) In general, the survey questions are difficult to answer as someone who doesn't find "romance" to be a personally useful category, but also I recognize it's really hard to write questions that accommodate that. Edit: just realized there's an option to add feedback at the end of the survey - whoops!
  9. Yeah, I kind of hate when people paraphrase? Because then it's hard to know yourself whether they're misinterpreting people or whether they have a point. For example, I know @Jot-Aro Kujo has gotten upset about how people bring up shared ace & aro history before, and my first instinct was that those complaints were talking about people making corrections when others make inaccurate claims about the history of certain terms (*cough* queerplatonic), until I encountered someone who just brought up that allo aros wouldn't have the words to talk about themselves without aces just at the mere me
  10. So I've seen something new that I'd like to share on this thread, however, I've not contacted the two people involved in the conversation as per the discussion @Jot-Aro Kujo and I had earlier in this thread. The thing is, I'm 5,000% positive that me, as an individual, saying something would go over extremely poorly. Would Alex, or someone else (preferably an allo aro someone else) be willing to reach out to those people if I shared the post privately? Pending, of course, taking a look at the post in question. I'd understand if you didn't want to touch it. Mostly, I'm just concerned
  11. What would you prefer we call it? Harassment? Vigilante modding an unmoderated space? Somehow I doubt those two come across any better... (this is mostly a joke) I say this because I have received a slew of nasty messages of this variety for a post that was so relevant to aromanticism that in the notes there were people asking me what it had to do with asexuality (it was an ace week post, so it mentioned aces for that reason, people got confused about this once it was no longer ace week). It was a post inspired by my aro experiences, so I tagged it as aro for that reason, but also
  12. I'm sorry if I did this in this thread at all? I know this is directed at @Coyote but I can't help notice the similarity between that and my own post further up this thread. I didn't reach out to both of the people I quoted up there, mostly because best case scenario I didn't think they'd listen to me... worst case I'd get hate mail... How do you suggest people balance making the effort to reach out to people yourself, when you are fairly certain they won't listen to you (or you've seen them fail to listen to others in the past), versus trying to reach out to others who might have a better cha
  13. Another type I've seen (that probably overlaps with all three of these?) is downplaying legitimate issues that aces face, or implying that aces, especially allo aces, don't really have it all that bad. I think this often happens simply because the people saying this don't know a lot about issues aces, especially allo aces, face (maybe they're thinking of issues aros face, and thinking that aces/allo aces don't have to deal with those, forgetting that there are additional issues that being ace/allo ace might add into the equation?). But when that's combined with "everything's always about aces
  14. i sign under everything @Jot-Aro Kujo said in this reblog with both hands, that comment about sex-favorable aces was tone deaf. "Yeah, there are sex positive aces, but they’ll never be treated the same way that alloaros are. And like, it all started when allaros started getting mad at the fact that we’re literally the most poorly treated aspecs." on the other hand implies that aces are privileged over alloaros imo. I also agree that that particular commenter was out of line. I do think there are times that sex-favorable aces face similar issues to allo aros (such as finding co
  15. I definitely agree with all of this. One thing I'd like to mention is that sometimes, especially on Tumblr where everything's out in the open for everyone to see, it can be unclear which the op is trying to do. I don't have the exact link, but once I encountered a post that, based on how it was written, sounded more like an explaining/Doing Activism type post (it was written with the framing as if it were giving advice to non-alloaro folks), but it also had a dni banner that made it very clear that it actually wasn't for that audience? That post made me think a lot about the potent
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