Acecream

My university lecturer is talking about milestones in life: “falling in love, marriage, the first kid, kids move out, death” umm well

Hey i just want to open a thread, where we can share all the euphoria or the good moments aromanticism gives us. Whether it are specific moments or just general feelings. just forget about the bad ones for a moment and start a thread full of luck and happiness :) for example; the more I think about amatonormativity the more I consider it as a harmful concept; not only for aros but for allos too!! So, sometimes I am just happy that I can live beside those amatonormative rules and that my pure existence proves amatonormativity wrong. It just gives me euphoria bc I feel as if aromanticism helps me to live more free and just the way I want to.

Pig

2029

False :( TPBM has less than 20 posts

LOL I was switching from aven to arocalypse and I just thought that I would be still on aven. So I was seeing this thread an just clicking on it bc I thought “o maybe you can repost some answers in the arocalypse forum!” yeah well I’m going to bed.

Just because being asexual is fundamental different from heteronormativity (which in fact means heterosexuality*); aces (even heteroromantics) have fundamental different experiences, struggles, fights than heterosexuals. Heterosexuals can not completely understand asexuals, the same way asexuals can not completely understand heterosexuals Aces don’t fill the “norm” which is “man and woman feel attracted to each other and have sex BECAUSE they are sexual ATTRACTED to each other. being accepted in lgbtqia+ is not a competition of “who gets more discriminated”. It‘s not „oh I join the club of discriminated or hated people“ or a „trophy“, it’s just a place for people who exist in a way beside the normativity... a way they should be able to exist in without being ashamed for what the are (I guess some heteroromantic aces could feel ashamed in the relationships with their partners, when they can‘t be „enough“ while being ace, but I don’t know for sure as I am aro as well) coming out is necessary to be completely understood and can „free“ the person somehow (I personally think a lot about being ace and not being out means, that I hide it somehow even if I don’t want to, I can’t talk about what bothers me and this is not a good feeling) hopes this helps, my battery is at 3% so I can’t write anymore haha *of course heterosexual queers do exist and are valid and queer (especially bc this is an aro forum and aros are queer, but not only bc of aros). Just talked about heterosexuality bc that’s the most common way asexuality doesn’t fit in

I am aro and ace. I did some research and discovered the term asexual in 2015, when I was 15. I felt immediately like this would describe me, but I refused and it took me 5-6 more years to accept that I am ace. Only after I accepted it (when I was 20 yo) I started to think about aromanticism. Here it was harder for me to see myself as aromantic, bc I think it’s more easy to understand that you don’t feel sexual attraction than to realise that never being in love has another reason than just “haven’t found the right person yet”. Another big point in making it harder to understand* aromanticism is amatonormativity I guess. but when I was 21 yo I realised that “my way” of being ace and the way my asexuality affects my life is and was ever deeply connected with being aro (even if they are completely different aspects of my identity) and so I started identify as aro as well. *here I make a huge difference between “understand” and “accept”; from the day I first started to think about asexuality to the day I accepted it was way longer than the time from the day I first started to think about aromanticism to the day I accepted it. But on the other side I found it harder to UNDERSTAND what aromanticism is and that being aromantic is not a “late bloomer” thing than I did with asexuality. hope this makes sense?!

Hello here I am

11

2025

Here you go: In the summer of 2014 Moses began work on his debut album and stumbled on a term that resonated with the way he’d been feeling. Aromantic: someone who doesn’t experience romantic attraction. “I was doing some self-diagnosis type shit,” he says with a grin. “I was wondering why every time I dated someone it felt a bit hollow. I’d have these really intense… not relationships... but things, where I cared deeply for someone, but always felt like there was one last piece missing: being in love. I started to wonder what love even means?”

oh I would totally ? this @void

@InvisibleSquid I never was on Reddit so unfortunately i can’t help you but this sounds like my social media problem in general; I know a lot of people who tell me how they met someone on a Forum/Instagram/Twitter/whatever who is now their best friend. And I just don’t get it. HOW. HOW does this work? Lol I’m totally not a shy person, when I’m in a room with someone I don’t know I just start to talk to them, but I have no idea how this works online so, when you solve the Reddit problem please let me know, I’d love to try it out?

I don’t know if you did in it purpose but you have the question “saying “I love you” to a family member” and then “saying “I love you” to a close friend or family member” and I didn’t really know how to value my close friends and my family in this question bc I would give different answers for those two groups

Yeah I love the memes too and I hope there’ll be more haha

I don’t know if this counts but when I was around the age of 12 a boy in my class had a crush on a girl and wrote her a love letter. I remember us sitting all together in school around her afterwards asking her how she feels about it ... I just said to her: “so, just say that you are in love with him too, what’s the problem.” Bc I thought that would be how it works, that when someone is in love with you you just have to love them back lol actually this was how I reacted in elementary school too. A friend told me that another guy would have a crush on me and I just pretended that I was into him, including kissing his face on the class-photography while in reality I didn’t even like him lol

At the moment I have the feeling as if this situation (being isolated from friends during COVID) would remain my entire life... that this is how I’ll feel for the rest of my life while everyone around me starts relationships and families. The hardest thing is that I have no idea who I can talk to while feeling so

Market

@mossy alice oseman (the author who wrote “loveless” about an aroace character (I still haven’t read it by my own :/)) is aromantic asexual herself

Only last year (20/21) but I haven’t thought a lot about it before, I was too busy questioning my sexuality^^ and if I think back there were a lot of signs. So probably I could have known it much earlier

When my friend says that she really wants to have a boyfriend again and I’m sitting there and have no idea what to say (and end up in some not-funny jokes) the same friend (she’s dating a lot) tells me a new dating-story almost every time we meet and I never know how to react, but to be honest I enjoy the story’s bc it’s interesting to hear about dating which seems to happen in another world than mine

I’m sorry @nonmerci

That’s true. So I’ll try to push alloaro voices on social media more than telling about my own experiences when it’s (only) about aromanticism. but it’s not that easy bc everytime I tell ppl about asexuality I have to clarify first that being ace does not mean being aromantic and everytime I’m telling about aromantic I have to clarify first that being aro does not mean being asexual and that my own experiences may not be the ones most ppl have.. So it’s a bit confusing where to find my own place lol

I figured out I was ace first. And then thinking about moments I referred to my asexuality I realised that I can’t “only” be ace bc being alloromantic would lead to different experiences... so i figured out I had to be aro too