Acecream

No

Yeah, me too. I’d wish to have a “queerplatonic dating app” sometimes I’d love to try out a qpr, but I don’t know how to find one and “normal dating” or to register on a dating app with allos scares me off @Holmbo I understand that it may seem too personal to write it on your profile, but I believe that’s the best/fairest way to act..

Yeah I think there are some ace groups (at least digital) but sadly it seems a lot more difficult to find a aro group/something for aromantic people... but you are free to dm me if you want @Aversa :)

Sometimes I even feel more lonely when I am with other people/friends. Everyone around me is getting happier and happier while I’m feeling sadder and sadder... and I don’t know why bc we actually do have a good time. Or when I had a nice evening with friends and I’m cycling home... then I sometimes feel like the loneliest human on this planet although I was surrounded by friends minutes before. (all during non-COVID times) This. We met via zoom a few weeks ago and after like five minutes I had to leave the call and started to cry bc it were just too many emotions and I remembered how much I missed them which I couldn’t handle.

-Do you have a boyfriend? -No. -Do you have a girlfriend? -No. -Do you... like dating? Do you date a lot? *awkwardly* -No. -Mmh. So you like being single? *laughes nervously* -Yes. -Yeah that can be nice too. i should be more confident sometimes... and just tell people that I’m aromantic.

Just wondering because I feel like when aromantic is shown and talked about everyone seems to mix it up with asexuality i’m an aroace person myself and I feel like aro-representation should be a bit more allosexual than it is. Even in the aro-awareness week I saw a lot of posts on social media that were mentioning asexuality while I felt it would be necessary to part my aro from my ace identity (yes maybe they interact with each other, but they still are two different parts of my identity) and I fear that aroaces would be a bit gatekeeping...

Nice to read some aromantic coming out stories here. It’s encouraging to read some of you did it, no matter how the reactions were. just wanted to ask everyone to whom you came out yet and how the reactions were? i personally would love to come out to my family but I still didn’t and I don’t know when I will.. actually I missed a lot of situations where I could have done it (talks about future childs, families...) but I came out to some friends and bc I came out I learned that two of them are questioning if they are on the arospec as well :D (Maybe to the aroaces of you: was it simpler to came out as aro or as ace and which of both seemed to be more important to you?)

I go with @nonmerci. I don’t know a lot of celebrities bc since I was a kid I ever looked very few movies. I faked a crush once to a boy of my school (I didn’t even know him lol). I guess I would chose someone from my university I don’t know very good but only from distance (so I’d have no pressure to act in a certain way and just could „adore“ from distance, which seams easier to fake)

hey just a few questions :) first of all, is the discord server still alive and open to new members? When yes, when are you currently online and in which time zone do you live (i live in CET)? I also would love to know if the discord is very aro specific or what you are talking/chatting about mainly :)

2022

@Aimee03 the girl who said it is a good friend of mine. And the fun side is she probably only said it bc I am very caring around her and our friendship bc she and the friendship are so important to me and she has some problems and I want to keep our friendship on and to have a nice time and just to be there for her whenever she needs me... and I think I wouldn’t put even half of the effort in our friendship when I wasn’t aromantic xD So just me being aromantic leads to her assumption that I would be a “caring girlfriend” (I don’t even think I would be lol bc having someone around me most of the time makes me very mad)

Yeah I just wanted to ask the allos: how do you KNOW you fell in love, how do you realise it? i think that’s kind of the same question

I do feel sensual attraction and sometimes I’m questioning whether it’s contradicting my aroace identity or not. i kind of like kissing (but not too “intensive”) (and sometimes I just think “oh now I would like to kiss this person” without any reason although I didn’t do kissing very often and I don’t think I’ll do it very often in future) and cuddling. I quarrel with the “kissing part” bc I feel like for lots of people kissing is either romantic or sexual. But for me it’s none of both, it’s just something I like to do without any sexual or romantic ulterior motive (kissing is my “border” between sensual and sexual. I guess I may call me a pansensual aroace? But I prefer not to name the sensual stuff bc it is too confusing) so everytime I want to kiss someone I ask myself if I am still ace, but for me it’s far apart from sexual attraction... (I hate questioning and I know that I am ace and I know that sensual attraction or kissing doesn’t change anything but my brain does not understand it?)

I know this is an old thread, but I’m in nrw, currently living in Münster. Where do you live? I would love to join some meetings after the pandemic(whenever this will be^^) and connect to any offline-community

Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of contact to aro(/)aces offline, so I can’t tell exactly, but I feel like it would be aro spaces. bc in the few times I came out as aroace I ever started to explain that asexuality does NOT mean not to fall in love or not to have a romantic relationship and only after that I started explaining that I am aromantic too and that the things I said before are actually not my reality, the whole process of explaining asexuality is explaining things that aren’t exactly my own life experience^^ and that kinda sucks but on the other hands both parts are important for (and to understand) my identity

2020 bad time starts

Cream

Hello Bambi! I’m glad you found your way to us :) I’m new on this forum too so I can’t tell you a lot about it. But I’m sure you’ll have some nice and helpful conversations and meet some people who share the same experiences.

In german we have the formal term “ledig” for people who are not and were never married. It doesn’t say anything more about your relationship status. Actually “ledig” does mean also “free of responsibility” which would be a nice meaning to describe your single-being^^ but it isn’t used outside of formalities and sounds a bit old-fashioned, so I guess people would make fun of when anyone would start to describe themself as “ledig”^^ we also have the word „alleinstehend“ which should mean the same as the swedish „ensamstående“ (the german word „einsam“ means „lonely“ so „ensamstående“ sounds quite similar)

That’s a good point. But maybe it has to as this is actually the thing alloromantics are asking about? So maybe it could be a word that does not only imply that you aren’t in a romantic relationship but that values other relationship as well in a way your “single-being” can’t be read as a “lack of”… I don’t know, it’s not that easy unfortunately ? Haha I love this I’ll say it next time lol I would love to hear suggestions :D I’ll think about it by myself, maybe I’ll have a good idea.. (but I would not be too positive about my creativity^^) As the word squish exists it should be possible to find another word for this

Well, I am “single” and I ever was and I’ll ever be (except in case I’ll have a qpr one day) but I don’t like to answer my “relationship-status” with “single” because it doesn’t feel true. I ever understood the term “single” as a transition phase, as a status everyone wants to change. For me it’s a negative phrase and I don’t feel comfortable using it because I might be “alone” but I’m not a single. I don’t fit in the relationship-categories at all (and that’s what “single” is: a word to describe the status of your romantic relationship) i would love to have another aromantic word I could use instead. Do you call yourself “single”? How do you like the word?

“I know that you have so much love to give” ”you would be just a caring girlfriend”

I’m offended by your lack of trust

Hey you all! Thank you for the warm welcome. well, icecream and cake... I think I have the best combination then;) the ? is already my favourite heart as green is my favourite colour^^ so there is a reason more to use it (honestly I was very happy after I discovered that the aro flag is green haha) i am curious about what awaits me in this forum.

It was before I knew aromantic: During math classes a girl from my school (we were 15 or 16 yo) spoke out loudly: “I want to have a boyfriend” we were all laughing so I thought, the others found it a funny desire too. At home I told my mother the story (I almost never told her anything from school), but she didn’t understand why I found it funny Years later it dawned on me that the others might not have laughed, bc she WANTED a BOYFRIEND, but only bc she spoke out loud during maths This. I even realised I had a squish