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Acecream

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Everything posted by Acecream

  1. well sometimes I feel there is a lot if arophobia in queer spaces (in addition to the lack of knowledge about aromanticism) so I wanted to create a space to discuss about it/share experiences like, the most hurtful talks/discussions about aromanticism I had with persons who are very active in queer spaces and even work in queer groups. the most wholesome ones as well to be fair :) for example a lot of queer spaces I know talk about "cis-hets" when they mean not queer persons. which is not very sensitive and doesn't really create a welcoming or accepting atmosphere imo.. Also sometimes when I go to queer spaces I feel like directly everyone assumes I'm a lesbian or at least do experience same sex/ same gender attraction (which I do in a sensual attraction way but I'm not sure if that counts haha) which is kinda stressful for me because than I fear to come out because I fear I would have to justify myself
  2. i'm just confused that there are so many flags hahaha bc i feel like i should be able to recognize people from my community but i just can't remember all the flags 😅😅😅 i used to seperate the aro and the ace flag and to use both as i see my sexual and romantic orientation as two different things (so: two flags). but i really got used to the sunset flag and now i love the aesthetic of this flag i'm currently thinling about getting one... but i also want to have a transgender flag. and an aro flag. and the new progress pride flag (the one that includes the inter* flag in the triangle as well). so, yeah... i think i have to make a decision for only ONE flag bc money money money^^ (i currently have a little enby flag and a rainbow flag, maybe i can make the progress pride flag out of the rainbow one...)
  3. i'm a very sensual person. i love being touched (as long as it's consensual obviously) i love being hugged, kisses on forehead, cheeks etc by friends, i feel like i really need being in touch with people, i don't feel good when i lack physical contact sometimes i also really like making out with strangers, althought i don't do it often. this is something that definitely developed during time and became more after i accepted being both, aro and ace. maybe because the action lose the meanings when you know, there won't be attraction? (people use to be confused if they know i'm not allo what kinda annoys and amuses me at the same time tbh.. once a friend wanted to "rescue" me from a situation in which i kissed a person i met on a party. my friend was having very good intentions tho) i'm sorry this sounds so terrible and disrespectful :(
  4. i'd love to have an arocalypse application... 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Acecream

      Acecream

      maybe there are some talented people here who would like to crate one....👀👀

    3. SkyTuneRein

      SkyTuneRein

      Making apps often takes a lot of dedicated time and resources, especially considering Invision boards are pretty closed-source and stringent in their extension/mod support. Even launching it on Apple's platform is a headache on it's own.

    4. Atypique

      Atypique

      Apple is shitty

  5. thank you :) I'm having some preliminary talks with doctors/hospitals this months😱 u have to say that it kinda scares me but I still don't know if my health insurance would pay for it and I can't pay it by my own, so I still have to organize some stuff... (unfortunately the insurance most likely would not pay for non-binary individuals, so I'll have to be a bit unclear about my gender in my application😅) hope you are doing good😊
  6. you can be gender non conforming and still identify with your assigned gender at birth
  7. participating in queer surveys, being asked about my orientation and there is never ever a question about romantic orientation and barely the option to chose aromanticism as a "sexual orientation" looool
  8. not sure if I'm happy for you or jealous right now hahaha congratulations, that's amazing!!!
  9. people keep misgendering me today even if they heard my pronouns a million times

     

    anyway

     

    happy new year to those who have it tonight

  10. Sometimes I do. (I know I'm not and I know where I have those thoughts from, but that doesn't save me from having those feelings) Sometimes I feel it's evil when I make decisions towards actions that are romantically-coded (or sexually-coded), because I don't really have the "excuse" of "that's just how I feel"/"I can't change my feelings" (of course not feeling attraction is a feeling I can't change too, but when I chose action without attraction with the knowledge that it will hurt persons bc of THEIR feelings I sometimes do feel like a very bad person. But I also know that just because I am aro doesn't mean I am not allowed to romantically coded actions as long as it's consensual.. I mean I have my reasons and I should be allowed to live my life how it feels right for ME, shouldn't I? Sometimes I feel like if I can't be happy in an allonormative way I am not allowed to be happy at all) Always remember: Alloromantics do hurt other alloromantics all the time. Why should this be more acceptable? (the answer is arophobia if you ask me)
  11. Sometimes I wonder why love–stories are about teenagers so often („aren‘t they waaaaay to young for romance or to fall in love???“) then I remember that those stories show the allonorm; my confusion is just me being aromantic
  12. Well I think it can be useful to have a space on arocalypse to talk about other lgbtqia+ related themes :) BUT i do NOT think we should use it to discuss whether another label/orientation is valid or not. this would get pretty shitty fast...
  13. I'm offended that you are still talking about perfection
  14. that's actually a very cool way to come out, because a lockscreen will only out you to people who know at least a bit about the orientations (at least enough too recognize the flags) so this does mean that you are more likely coming out to accepting people and you'll not have to explain a lot🥰 and people you might be afraid of coming out more likely don't recognize the colors (sadly queer aro- and acephobic persons exist, but still.) worst response: "you have a too loving/caring personality to be aro" best response: "thank you for sharing"
  15. sometimes I think I understand romantic codes quite well and I recognize it when things are seen as romantic or when people are in love and then there are moments like yesterday, when me and the people I study with looked at a persons project and someone said "that's such a cute love story" and the others seemed to agree and I was just... so confused... like.. there were no signs the characters were lovers? like... not at all???

  16. do not pathologize yourself. being aro is not a disorder. there is already a more general thread about "advice to your younger self", so I guess it would be good to have this as an explicit aro-version :) https://www.arocalypse.com/topic/5228-advice-for-your-younger-self/
  17. sorry, i hope it's okay to ask😅 what do you mean with "everything in between"? other m-spec labels?
  18. I'm offended that you don't see how perfect I am!
  19. thanks for bringing this thread up :D 1. I'd say I went through multiple periods of questioning, but I never seriously considered to have another sexuality. Like, it always felt wrong. But I thought about heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, gay (yeah, I guess this was an early signs of not-being-cis) (after I discovered that I'm able to feel strong sensual attraction i started to rethink if there would be another label to suit me and for a time I thought about pansensual which changed more into bisensual by now but actually I'm fine with not labelling it or just labelling it as queer) cn aro-erasure 2. yeah. Totally. I used to think I discovered being asexual first but actually this only happened bc I thought about being aromantic (even if I didn't know so back then). like, I didn't google "why don't I feel sexual attraction", I did google "why can't I fall in love". I think it shows a lot how much aromanticism and asexuality are unnecessary connected and how much we have to work on to make clear they are separate that I discovered the term asexual before the term aromantic even if I was searching about FALLING IN LOVE. actually, it sucks! for me it worked since I am both, aro and ace, but sometimes I ask myself how long it would have taken me to discover what aromanticism is when I was allosexual. as it's a few years since I googled that stuff it may be that it changed a bit and I REALLY HOPE it did and that persons who google "can't fall in love" find out about aromanticism before they find out about asexuality. 3. when I discovered I am aroace I used to see it as one, but this changed a lot. also, I always felt like my asexuality would be connected to my aromanticism while I never felt my aromanticism would be connected to my asexuality. weird Now I say: My romantic and my sexual attraction are separate. Totally.
  20. I'm offended that you think everyone has to write and speak english perfectly
  21. I'm offended that you don't have your own arguments
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