Kallie

I could never imagine myself marrying someone out of love, marriage has always felt like something I'd have to check off my list to be "a proper adult".

I really get that. Aromanticism gave me a new lense to look at my past experiences, one I can use to connect many things and feelings I wouldn’t have before, but once you adopt it, there’s no real coming back. It’s the “what came first: a chicken or an egg?” kind of situation, you don’t know if you feel a certain way because you’re aromantic, or if identifying as aromantic gives you certain feelings. But I have to say that what matters the most is whether or not being aro makes you feel happy, comfortable. It doesn’t matter what came first, if at the end of the day aromanticism is the best way for you to understand yourself and your life.

YMBAI you didn’t know some people really are as invested into romance and finding a partner as fiction makes them out to be.

Until you mentioned it, I never noticed that I'm probably the only person I know, who actively checks up on my friends' other friendships :D People usually share those things with me themselves, and then it's only natural for me to ask them about it next time we see each other, maybe talk about some conflict they had, etc. It helps to bring up your friends too, you can tell them about something that happened to you recently and ask what they think of it, and they would usually tell you about similar experiences. I'm sure if you do that enough, they will start asking about how your friendships are going too.

I call myself non-binary, it allows me a lot of freedom and flexibility. I usually feel "neutral", but sometimes I can feel more fem or even masc too. I like that I don't have to specify that I'm agender/demigirl/genderfluid, just non-binary, and sometimes being non-binary means differents things to me.

Welcome, welcome! it's incredible to see people who discover yourself at your age, and I'm glad you've joined us Adult aromantics as much part of this community as anyone else.

Yes, I'm in High School and I'm on the aromantic spectrum! Discovering that was a very interesting experience, but I'm glad it helped me rethink some things about myself. There are many other teens on the forum, and I hope you'll feel welcome here!

Dunno about my mom, but some of my friends though I was gay ХD I've enver shown much interest in dating, but I would gush about female celebrities and fictional characters, and one time my friend asked me if I was a lesbian.

(this topic is made with aromantics in mind, but if you're arospec (greyro, demiro, etc), feel free to also share your thoughts) We've had lengthy discussions on what romantic attraction is, but the current topic was created more for sharing our definitions for it, rather than our relationship with the concept. I'm not asking if you wished you were alloromantic, just do you want to understand what they're feeling? Do you think you would benefit from it? Or are you content with knowing the feeling is just out of your reach as an aromantic person?

First of all, there always will be some element of 'risk' when coming out to your friends of family, but please don't do it if you aren't sure you will be completely safe! And you don't have to come out to everyone at once or even call yourself aroace (think of saying "I don't want to date or have sex", just describe your feelings). Back to the topic at hand, I completely understand your feelings. It had taken me several months of thinking and pondering before I could come out as non-binary to my friendgroup, there is a sense of responsibility that comes with telling someone your orientation of gender identity, I was afraid people would judge me, that I would have to prove that my feelings are real not just to myself, but to other people. It's best to start by taking small steps. As I said, you could come out to only a couple of friends, and when you do, always think of the positive reaction you got from others. Be ready for the worst, but hope for the best. And if you aren't ready for that yet, there are other ways to express yourself: wear green or purple colors, use other symbols associated with asexuality or aromanticism, maybe casually talk about it with your friend or tell them jokes. It may seem silly, but it helps you build your confidence.

Many people feel like they have to change their presentation after they discover they're non-binary, but you don't own anyone anything. You can be nb and present however you want, even if the name/clothing/pronouns you choose are associated with the gender you were assigned at birth. Don't want to change your name yet? That's cool, I'm non-binary and only use feminine names. Change is only needed if it makes you happier.

I let people assume what they want, even when the topic comes up, I usually say I'm not interested in dating at the moment. I'm not out, but I don't hide either, if someone asks me about my orientation, I'll answer honestly.

Aw, that's so cute! I usually use online spreadsheets for planning, but I always make them pastel. And I prefer to set long-term goals, write only what I need to have done by the end of every week or month and do what I feel like each day.