Aromantic Confessions

[Cereal Tendencies]

I confess to not realizing how many people felt the need to confess when I made this thread 

 

I confess that it was a good idea nonetheless 

[Holmbo]

9 hours ago, Cereal Tendencies said:

I confess to not realizing how many people felt the need to confess when I made this thread 

 

I confess that it was a good idea nonetheless 

It's a good format for a thread. There's so much different varieties of confessions one can make.

I have another one. I confess that when I make plans for my future a huge part of it is ensuring I won't be alone too much, because I think that might turn me weird(er). And that I sometimes worry about friends or just people in general that spend much time alone and feel like it's not good for them.

Edit: Actually "weird" is the wrong word. Antisocial is better to describe it. Or self centered.

[NullVector]

13 hours ago, Holmbo said:

Edit: Actually "weird" is the wrong word. Antisocial is better to describe it. Or self centered.

 

Maybe "weird" is the perfect word! I googled the etymology :

Quote

Weird

Old English wyrd ‘destiny’, of Germanic origin. The adjective (late Middle English) originally meant ‘having the power to control destiny’, and was used especially in the Weird Sisters, originally referring to the Fates, later the witches in Shakespeare's Macbeth ; the latter use gave rise to the sense ‘unearthly’ (early 19th century).

 

So turning "weird" doesn't sound so bad - "weird" people are people who recognize that they don't fit societal norms very well but have the power to control their own destinies, rather than simply follow the conventional social scripts. They may or may not be witches  

 

(joking aside, it seems pretty reasonable to spend time actively planning not to end up alone too much as we get older - it's a fear that a lot of us here seem to have)

[Dodecahedron314]

19 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I confess that when I make plans for my future a huge part of it is ensuring I won't be alone too much, because I think that might turn me weird(er). And that I sometimes worry about friends or just people in general that spend much time alone and feel like it's not good for them.

I totally understand this, actually. For all my ridiculous amounts of introversion, I've also come to realize at this point that when left to my own devices for too long and cut off from other people, my mind basically turns into an echo chamber and the reverberations all interfering with each other make a mess out of the whole situation pretty quickly, if that makes sense. Much as I logically should be totally fine with being a hermit, experience tells me otherwise, and so I've been forced to admit that I have to factor other people into my plans in some way, shape, or form.

[techno]

I confess that I wish my friends in relationships would break up so I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. Maybe that's selfish. Ah, well.

 

I also confess that sometimes I wish all of my friends were aro so they would never leave me.

[Ace of Amethysts]

I confess that I wish more people were aro.

[Untamed Heart]

I actually feel the same! Or at least, we should try and re-educate people so they don't put romance on such a high pedestal. 

[Ace of Amethysts]

Re-educating sounds like the way to go to me.

 

I confess that my brain is reminding me of a pretty bad romantic drama I saw (my dad`s romantic partner convinced both me and him to watch it) this time last year. Still think it was a late night and three hours of my time wasted.

[Mark]

On 15/01/2017 at 9:04 AM, Ace of Amethysts said:

I confess that I wish more people were aro.

My position is more that I wish more people understood being aro.
Or at least that romance isn't the only possible motivation for seeking human companionship and interaction.

[Dodecahedron314]

I confess that, as an aroace, I'm honestly feeling a little bit personally attacked by the amatonormative/allonormative bits of the most recent two episodes of Sherlock. Specifically:

 

The Lying Detective (S4E2):

Spoiler

John's cringeworthy rant about how Sherlock needs to get together with Irene Adler. Just...stop, Moffat. Just stop. Take your humanization-through-romance trope and leave. Yes, we obviously already know that John doesn't exactly see eye-to-eye with Sherlock on relationships, but you would think by this point he would at least try to understand because he should know that there's no chance of this changing. And if he's trying to get Sherlock to "heal" this way...again, stick the romantic humanization trope where the sun don't shine.

 

The Final Problem (S4E3):

Spoiler

Can we just all agree that the BS with Molly was just the cheapest of cheap shots? Yes, it's supposed to be sick and twisted because that's this episode's entire schtick, I get that. But just...I'm having trouble putting into words how much that scene enraged me. Fanservice and amatonormativity and needless manufactured angst, oh my! I would elaborate, but I can't quite articulate a cohesive argument over my ongoing internal screaming of "NO. NO. NO. NO." and overwhelming urge to flip off Moffat.

 

[Ace of Amethysts]

On 16/01/2017 at 6:38 AM, Mark said:

My position is more that I wish more people understood being aro.
Or at least that romance isn't the only possible motivation for seeking human companionship and interaction.

That`s the best alternative at least.

[Dodgypotato]

21 hours ago, Dodecahedron314 said:

I confess that, as an aroace, I'm honestly feeling a little bit personally attacked by the amatonormative/allonormative bits of the most recent two episodes of Sherlock. Specifically:

 

The Lying Detective (S4E2):

  Reveal hidden contents

John's cringeworthy rant about how Sherlock needs to get together with Irene Adler. Just...stop, Moffat. Just stop. Take your humanization-through-romance trope and leave. Yes, we obviously already know that John doesn't exactly see eye-to-eye with Sherlock on relationships, but you would think by this point he would at least try to understand because he should know that there's no chance of this changing. And if he's trying to get Sherlock to "heal" this way...again, stick the romantic humanization trope where the sun don't shine.

 

The Final Problem (S4E3):

  Reveal hidden contents

Can we just all agree that the BS with Molly was just the cheapest of cheap shots? Yes, it's supposed to be sick and twisted because that's this episode's entire schtick, I get that. But just...I'm having trouble putting into words how much that scene enraged me. Fanservice and amatonormativity and needless manufactured angst, oh my! I would elaborate, but I can't quite articulate a cohesive argument over my ongoing internal screaming of "NO. NO. NO. NO." and overwhelming urge to flip off Moffat.

 

Moffat is obsessed with entering romance into everything because it's what he thinks will sell. And sadly, he's right. The majority of fans for that kind of stuff go crazy for someone turning someone who seemingly hates romance into a romantic soppy git. I hate it as well. We can't just have one non-romantic character. Ever. Those fans make me so mad. You don't need romance IN EVERYTHING. If it's not a romance genre, don't insist on putting it in everywhere!!! It's unnecessary!

 

I confess that I get really really REALLY annoyed when there is a complete over saturation of romance in things that are not classified as a romance piece of entertainment!

[Philbo Wiseroot]

5 hours ago, Dodgypotato said:

Moffat is obsessed with entering romance into everything because it's what he thinks will sell

Also, not letting his Claras characters stay dead!

5 hours ago, Dodgypotato said:

The majority of fans for that kind of stuff go crazy for someone turning someone who seemingly hates romance into a romantic soppy git

Aren't a good portion of his fans teen girls because Doctor Who?

[Dodecahedron314]

39 minutes ago, Philbo Wiseroot said:

5 hours ago, Dodgypotato said:

The majority of fans for that kind of stuff go crazy for someone turning someone who seemingly hates romance into a romantic soppy git

Aren't a good portion of his fans teen girls because Doctor Who?

...Moffat has fans??? I've yet to encounter anyone who watches anything he's involved in and hasn't gone off on him at least once. Although to be fair, his episodes of Doctor Who *before* he took over the show were fantastic, at least. (I'm not far enough into the show to pass judgement on what he's done as the showrunner, but considering I'm told there's an entire season that's basically just not worth watching, my hopes for something as magnificent as The Doctor Dances or Blink aren't too high.)

 

Also, the trope @Dodgypotato mentioned is just one more of the infinite fiendish tentacles of amatonormativity. "Everyone has the capacity for ~*~romantic looooooove~*~ inside them, they just have to meet that ~*~special person~*~ and ~*~open up their heart~*~!!!!11!!!1!" How. About. NO. You're not wresting away one of the most relatable characters I've ever encountered, who's relatable specifically for the exact reason that you're trying to erase. Stoppit. Stop that right now.

[SoulWolf]

On a related note, the latest Lucifer episode I watched is starting to look... problematic... for similar reasons. Then again, I suppose it doesn't really matter a whole lot since I didn't relate to him all that much in the first place. But still... it feels like something is being taken away, not something being added.

[Ace of Amethysts]

On 17/01/2017 at 9:06 AM, Dodgypotato said:

Moffat is obsessed with entering romance into everything because it's what he thinks will sell. And sadly, he's right. The majority of fans for that kind of stuff go crazy for someone turning someone who seemingly hates romance into a romantic soppy git. I hate it as well. We can't just have one non-romantic character. Ever. Those fans make me so mad. You don't need romance IN EVERYTHING. If it's not a romance genre, don't insist on putting it in everywhere!!! It's unnecessary!

 

I confess that I get really really REALLY annoyed when there is a complete over saturation of romance in things that are not classified as a romance piece of entertainment!

As sad as this might sound, ranting about it isn`t going to stop the romantic majority fawning over stuff like this and forcing it into pretty much everything.

 

@Dodecahedron314 Most shows aren`t made with aromantics, especially romance repulsed aros, in mind. Most people, who are romantic, will fawn over this too.

[Mark]

16 hours ago, Dodgypotato said:

Moffat is obsessed with entering romance into everything because it's what he thinks will sell. And sadly, he's right. The majority of fans for that kind of stuff go crazy for someone turning someone who seemingly hates romance into a romantic soppy git. I hate it as well. We can't just have one non-romantic character. Ever. Those fans make me so mad. You don't need romance IN EVERYTHING. If it's not a romance genre, don't insist on putting it in everywhere!!! It's unnecessary!

The people making the decisions in the entertainments industry, not just Moffat, believe that shoehorning romance into everything is the right thing to do.
There's a question of how would you find out if this is what fans actually want. Unless we were to have non-romantic characters (and plotlines) as common and varied as romantic ones you can't really compare.

[Ace of Amethysts]

Aromantic love in media is rare though.

[Holmbo]

12 hours ago, Ace of Amethysts said:

As sad as this mi sound, ranting about it isn`t going notto stop antic majority fawning over stuff likstartete this and forcing it into pretty much everything.

 

@Dodecahedron314 Most shows aren`t made with aromantics, especially romance repulsed aros, in mind. Most people, who are romantic, will fawn over this too.

 

Maybe if they don't give people what they want they'll love it even more though. Like when Game of Thrones started the trend of killing of the characters people rooted for. Maybe some show will do the equivalent to romantic love. Every potential romantic story will just crash and burn.

 

 

 

 

(Or not main to t If) I can't delete that text on the phone for some reason. Also I changed the quote without meaning to.

[Dodecahedron314]

2 hours ago, Holmbo said:

 

Maybe if they don't give people what they want they'll love it even more though. Like when Game of Thrones started the trend of killing of the characters people rooted for. Maybe some show will do the equivalent to romantic love. Every potential romantic story will just crash and burn.

In all honesty, if I had the energy and time to devote to writing that I wish I did, I would do this in everything I wrote. If non-aro writers have gotten the satisfaction of nattering on and on about their favorite set of emotions for practically the entire history of media, then I should definitely have the right to exact some degree of schadenfreude-y satisfaction from crushing their shipping dreams. 

 

@Ace of Amethysts I'm definitely aware of that, and I'm definitely aware that most people are somehow okay with this (though even the non-aro people I know who have watched it have huge problems with the specific example I was ranting about). That doesn't make me any less bitter about it. 

[Ace of Amethysts]

@Dodecahedron314 I completely understand bitterness here, believe me.

[James White]

I confess that my favorite flavor of ice cream from Baskin Robins is their special Valentine's Day flavor, "Love Potion #31."

 

The irony is not lost on me. 

It has raspberries and dark chocolate, okay? 

[Ace of Amethysts]

I don`t mind that one either.

[lollipop]

A guy asked me out and I said yes out of feeling sorry for him. Eventually I asked what love felt like and he was confused. He then kissed me and I broke up with him the next day. It was awful.

On 1/15/2017 at 4:04 AM, Ace of Amethysts said:

I confess that I wish more people were aro.

I second that

[Hey you in the corner]

23 minutes ago, lollipop said:

A guy asked me out and I said yes out of feeling sorry for him. Eventually I asked what love felt like and he was confused. He then kissed me and I broke up with him the next day. It was awful.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. That's kind of how I ended up in my first relationship.