On "Alloromantic"

[Cassiopeia]

2 hours ago, Mark said:

Not sure "allo" is right as a neutral prefix. It comes from Greek meaning "other". Really needs one which means "with", not sure of the Greek, though the Latin is "sin" which just wouldn't work.

Yeah let's dodge that bullet... Someone mentioned the word "limerent" in another thread, is that pejorative? 

[Rising Sun]

Pejorative or not, it would be inaccurate, as limerence can fade while romantic feelings stay. It would create only confusion as there are nonlimerent romantic relationships.

[Blue Phoenix Ace]

On 8/23/2016 at 9:18 PM, Cassiopeia said:

I have heard people saying "lesbians" but "lesbian people" wasn't something I have really seen or heard in any written or spoken context?

 

Lesbian means a "homosexual female". So it's a noun with an adjective applied as well. The difference would be like "she is a homosexual" (not OK) versus "she is a lesbian" (acceptable (I think)).

 

When you say "she is a homosexual" it sounds like her entire being is her sexual identity. Yet somehow "she is a lesbian" is just describing that she is homosexual, not that it describes her entire being.

 

I hope that makes sense, and any lesbians are free to correct me here.

I can't think of any good roots that mean "with" or "normal" other than co-. That would be cosexual or coromantic. Those sound super stupid.

[Cassiopeia]

On 26 August 2016 at 2:10 AM, Blue Phoenix Ace said:

 

Lesbian means a "homosexual female". So it's a noun with an adjective applied as well. The difference would be like "she is a homosexual" (not OK) versus "she is a lesbian" (acceptable (I think)).

 

When you say "she is a homosexual" it sounds like her entire being is her sexual identity. Yet somehow "she is a lesbian" is just describing that she is homosexual, not that it describes her entire being.

 

I hope that makes sense, and any lesbians are free to correct me here.

I can't think of any good roots that mean "with" or "normal" other than co-. That would be cosexual or coromantic. Those sound super stupid.

Interesting. English isn't my first language so this whole grammatical structure is foreign to me and I may not notice these soft differences. The co-thing sounds nice though I'm not sure if it's correct or not.

[Mark]

There is the little used term "zromantic". Which has pronunciation issues...

[Louis On Air]

23 hours ago, Mark said:

There is the little used term "zromantic". Which has pronunciation issues...

Would that be like 'erzromantic' but you make the 'er' sound as short as possible. Also how about 'omromantic'

[aihpen]

On 24.8.2016 at 11:01 AM, Mark said:

Exactly, with "sexual" and "romantic" on their own there tends to be an assumption along the lines of "hyper-".
Not sure "allo" is right as a neutral prefix. It comes from Greek meaning "other". Really needs one which means "with", not sure of the Greek, though the Latin is "sin" which just wouldn't work.

Isn't "cum" the latin word for "with"? Also I think you might have meant "sine" not "sin", which means "without" in English.

 

 

On 8.9.2016 at 0:28 PM, Mark said:

There is the little used term "zromantic". Which has pronunciation issues...

 

8 hours ago, Louis Hypo said:

Would that be like 'erzromantic' but you make the 'er' sound as short as possible. Also how about 'omromantic'

I think it's pronounced zedromantic, at least I've heard it pronounced that way and I've also seen it written like that instead of "zromantic"

[Philbo Wiseroot]

13 hours ago, aihpen said:

Isn't "cum" the latin word for "with"? Also I think you might have meant "sine" not "sin", which means "without" in English.

 

 

 

I think it's pronounced zedromantic, at least I've heard it pronounced that way and I've also seen it written like that instead of "zromantic"

"Cumsexual" - every 12 year old's dream with cum apparently being inherently funny. So nope, that's out!

 

Zedromantic might work, and is better than zromantic (especially as it stops the confusion by forcing a pronounciation. 

[April May March]

Just throwing my two cents in: I'm someone who's aromantic but has sexual feelings but isn't quite sure which label of sexuality fits. Since I can describe myself as allosexual, I can make it clear that I experience sexual attraction but any certainty beyond that is up for grabs (think of significant figures). 

[AroArtisan]

I use the words allosexual and alloromantic.  To me they just mean they are not like I am.  Just like "whole milk" is really normal milk but we distinguish it from skim, 2% and 1% lowfat milks because it's just easier to say and we NEED a term to say it.

I find the vast majority of allosexual/alloromantic people positively offended that the terms "asexual" and "aromantic" exists along with every orientation inbetween the way it is, so I have no problem using my own shorthand terms to describe them.

[Philbo Wiseroot]

1 hour ago, AroArtisan said:

I use the words allosexual and alloromantic.  To me they just mean they are not like I am.  Just like "whole milk" is really normal milk but we distinguish it from skim, 2% and 1% lowfat milks because it's just easier to say and we NEED a term to say it.

I find the vast majority of allosexual/alloromantic people positively offended that the terms "asexual" and "aromantic" exists along with every orientation inbetween the way it is, so I have no problem using my own shorthand terms to describe them.

Wait - so people are literally offended that aro and ace people exist?

[Zema]

6 hours ago, Pufflehugs04 said:

8 hours ago, AroArtisan said:

I find the vast majority of allosexual/alloromantic people positively offended that the terms "asexual" and "aromantic" exists along with every orientation inbetween the way it is, so I have no problem using my own shorthand terms to describe them.

Wait - so people are literally offended that aro and ace people exist?

Yes some people are offended by our very existence. Just like people get offended by the very existence of non-binary people. They express this by vehemently denying our exitence in the face of evidence contrary to their beliefs.

[Philbo Wiseroot]

16 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

Just like people get offended by the very existence of non-binary people. They express this by vehemently denying our exitence in the face of evidence contrary to their beliefs

Or literally in the face of NB people!

 

 

A speaker came to speak at my university for one side of a debate titled "This House Believes Freedom of Expression is Under Threat at British Universities". He first argued that all safe spaces should be abolished (including for those marginalised groups to get away from xenophobia), then basically said that there are "men and women, and that's it". At this point, an NB person had already countered his point about abolishing safe spaces, using themselves as an example!

[Dodgypotato]

I just wanna jump in really late and add in that the prefix 'allo' means 'other'. Used almost exclusively within the asexual community, allosexual was just meant to refer to any sexual not within the community. Literally, other-sexual. It's the same kind of thing as cis. People get offended at being called cis because they don't see a need for it. But within the trans community, it is a useful word. So while you don't have to directly call someone 'allo' or 'cis', it can be useful to use those adjectives when speaking to other aces or trans people. Why? Mostly because it can be ambiguous. Someone might type or say a sexual, and someone might either think they made a typo and meant asexual or misheard it as asexual.

 

Sexual people might get a bit weirded out at being called allosexual, so we can easily avoid it. But I don't think there's anything wrong with calling someone cis or allosexual/romantic if you're just saying it to avoid ambiguity. But then again I can't really judge that because I'm not sexual, it's not really up for me to decide. I'm not about to go up to someone who doesn't like being called alloromantic, like Nai, and keep on saying it in front of them. : P

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it really depends on the situation?

[Mark]

2 hours ago, Dodgypotato said:

I just wanna jump in really late and add in that the prefix 'allo' means 'other'. Used almost exclusively within the asexual community, allosexual was just meant to refer to any sexual not within the community. Literally, other-sexual. It's the same kind of thing as cis. People get offended at being called cis because they don't see a need for it

Slight difference is that cis- and trans- are Latin prefixes with opposite meanings.
Whereas a- and allo- don't have opposite meanings.

[Dodgypotato]

35 minutes ago, Mark said:

Slight difference is that cis- and trans- are Latin prefixes with opposite meanings.
Whereas a- and allo- don't have opposite meanings.

That's true - in a literal manner. But they're both words used to refer to people outside of the respective communities. While not literally analogous, they are similar in many ways.

[Skeptyc]

It seems a bit excessive to try and label absolutely everything, but I guess some people just like doing so.

 

[Tumblrweed]

I agree with @Natkat and @Cassiopeia that a specific word should still exist, because defining the allo experience as the norm by not providing it a term feels unsettling, too. The aro community doesn't have enough visibility to be associating a general word with an idea specific to discussions around aromantics and their counterparts, and I honestly think allo is the most widespread and well-known way to refer to people who experience full sexual or romantic attraction. I'm gonna use allo here and other places as a result, because it becomes difficult to talk without a specific word.

 

I think people with a-spec related split attraction are poised in an interesting position for this discussion. On the one hand, one of your attractions is a-spec, while in the other, you're also allo. And I guess it raises another question: even though language used in the ace and aro communities has been closely linked, does it give you a say in both communities about the language that is used? Or do you get a say only if you're a-spec in that community?

 

More on topic, this is an opportunity to collectively agree to an in-joke, make a pun like the "ace of hearts" that I often see used to refer to alloromantic asexual people. Since Spades is meant to be aromantic, maybe we could make it Hearts and Spades? Or what about B-ros and Aros? Romos and Aros. Think of the meaningful puns we could attempt.

[Apathetic Echidna]

I didn't realise about the issues surrounding allo, I do know that zed popped up because there was something iffy about allo but I didn't know what that was. I have used allo around the place as a shorthand for romantic people simply because it is much faster to type, especially the 'llo' part. I have only used it a few times, and only on the internet in either AVEN or Arocalypse's forums. 

 

On 24/09/2016 at 9:45 PM, Tumblrweed said:

Romos and Aros.

As we use No Romo, it does make sense that there is a Yes Romo group out there, shortened to just Romo as a descriptor might be a nice politically correct term? plus I am voting for anything with double letters.