what's thedifferenece between qp attraction and romanti9c attraction

[Just a Bear]

I posted a question along this line but it got removed for some reason.

 

I just want to know the aromantic opinion on this question. how do they differ? why are they not the same?

[Momo]

You know why it was removed, because you got a warning about it which you acknowledged. If you're willing to actually engage and listen rather than belittle people, this thread will be kept open. You however are on a timeout, which unfortunately didn't get applied automatically and this thread showed up, so take this time to listen.

[alto]

This question actually has a very simple answer.

It's about what you want out of the relationship.  You want a romantic relationship?  Crush.  You want to be besties or permanent roommates?  Squish.

Other than that, it is basically the same feeling.

[cyancat]

is there a thing as qp attraction??

a qp is more or less what you want out of something. it says nothing about your attraction or sexuality. generally it’s people who don’t experience romantic attraction towards each other. but it could just be one person who doesn’t and the other respecting their boundaries as a decent person lmao.

romantic attraction is. idk crushes ig. i’m aro man wdym what is romantic attraction OTL

more relevantly i suppose the difference between a qp and a romantic relationship is what you want/need. people have different needs for different types of relationships. people may be really touchy with their friends and likewise be incredibly UNtouchy w/ their romantic partners. a qpr is going to be whatever that person needs for a platonic/non romantic relationship. a romantic relationship is going to be whatever that person needs to satisfy their romantic feelings.

sometimes they may look the same, because the qpr is very touchy or the romantic relationship is very not touchy. the difference comes down to whatever fundamental feelings you have - and that’s a measure that can be different from person to person, but only for themselves.

Edited August 2, 2021 by cyancat

[nonmerci]

10 hours ago, cyancat said:

is there a thing as qp attraction??

I don't know. Usually people speak about squishes for platonic attraction, but sometimes they can want a QPR with their squish. I always thought it was confusing and I always wonder if it meant QP attraction didn't exist and that QPR develops from a friendship, or if it actually exists. If some people who wants QPR know the answer, I'll be glad to know.

[eatingcroutons]

11 hours ago, cyancat said:

is there a thing as qp attraction??

a qp is more or less what you want out of something. it says nothing about your attraction or sexuality.

Yeah, my understanding is that a "queerplatonic relationship" is not defined by any particular kind of attraction that the people involved may or may not feel. Rather, it's a relationship that is not a romantic relationship, but which the people involved have chosen to call something other than a friendship, because they don't believe "friendship" would accurately describe the relationship either. 

[cyancat]

@eatingcroutons same

i think "qp attraction" might be a false usage in this context. tbh u could probably derive a queerplatonic attraction in some sense? i use the word alterous, but different words for different folks - but i think what's more relevant to the question is queerplatonic relationships, which doesn't necessarily define what kind of attraction people are experiencing slash can experience.

Edited August 10, 2021 by cyancat

[ilse]

On 7/30/2021 at 4:55 PM, alto said:

It's about what you want out of the relationship.  You want a romantic relationship?  Crush.  You want to be besties or permanent roommates?  Squish.

i agree with this definition, "qp" (term that doesn't really apply here) attraction and romantic attraction are both similar concepts with the difference that one is based more on platonic connotations, but then again qprs are very diverse in the attraction felt so i don't think it's fair to compare it to romantic relationships.

[aroace.ro]

On 8/3/2021 at 12:30 PM, nonmerci said:

I don't know. Usually people speak about squishes for platonic attraction, but sometimes they can want a QPR with their squish. I always thought it was confusing and I always wonder if it meant QP attraction didn't exist and that QPR develops from a friendship, or if it actually exists. If some people who wants QPR know the answer, I'll be glad to know.

Yeah I think that overall, a QPR can happen between people with any/ no attraction; they could feel friendship, maybe even lowkey romantic feelings. What matters is the type of relationship. But I think what people refer to when they say QPR attraction is alterous attraction, a desire for emotional connection that doesn't really fit into either platonic or romantic attraction. So how I see it, QP attraction is a third option, a combination of platonic and romantic feelings, but neither at the same time. Everyone can experience it in a different way. Kinda an umbrella term for attraction that is neither THIS or THAT, like non binary is for gender.

[BloodyBlood]

On 7/31/2021 at 4:25 AM, alto said:

This question actually has a very simple answer.

It's about what you want out of the relationship.  You want a romantic relationship?  Crush.  You want to be besties or permanent roommates?  Squish.

Other than that, it is basically the same feeling.

rip i have both feeling for my partner Q-Q

[alto]

Well, a lot of romantic people do call their partner their best friend for a reason.

[isaacisunsure]

In my experience as someone who exclusively seeks out qpr's, a qpr is like a romantic relationship is every way except without the romance. I've heard it described also as an intimate relationship without the need for romance or romantic feelings. That's pretty simply it. It can be a sexual relationship if all parties wish to include that, but there are no obligations in a qpr for sexual or romantic feelings. You may still kiss and go on dates and tell each other that you love each other without the romantic feelings attached. You could also do none of those things. Like a frb but instead of the benefits being sex, the benefits are a relationship.

[Raininspring]

My understanding of a queerplatonic relationship is it's a platonic relationship between two people, regardless of gender, that can have a mutual deep emotional bond that goes beyond the basic, casual friendship. I've never been in a QPR but from reading up about it, it sounds like it could be a "true love" version of non-romantic soulmates who vibe with each other so well. And I use "true love" with the understanding romantic love is not the only kind of love that can exist between people, and people can love each other with as much importance even if it's not romantic. A queerplatonic relationship has love existing between two people but it doesn't have to be romantic. That's not to say romantic attraction couldn't happen, maybe, if we think about the aromantic spectrum and all the ways people could (under the spectrum, depending on which microlabel they identify as) still feel some or a little romantic attraction depending on the circumstances or situations. QPRs could stay exclusively platonic if that's what the two people involved want, however, QPRs could become sexual if there's sexual attraction, but that's up both parties to determine how they want the relationship to be. 

Edited February 6 by Raininspring