aroace.ro

Idk if this is what you're asking for but regardless it's an aro experience I'd like to share. I'm not repulsed by romance or anything, and so society's message that falling in love and being in a relationship is so great, convinced me and I wanted to try it out, see for myself. I had 2 relationships, very similar scenarios. The guy was close to me as a friend, I really liked spending time with him, and then I found out he liked me. After a period of questioning whether I also like him romantically or not, I managed to fool myself into thinking yeah I like him, mostly because I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. We ended up together and for me it felt like a friendship but with an added awkward aspect. I thought that was normal, that everyone felt like that. Until it became quite obvious that my partner is starting to develop more serious feelings for me, and I love them too, with all my heart, but not in that way. And we broke up. He suffered, I was fine, just felt very very guilty for not liking him back and for getting into the relationship in the first place. That happened before I knew that aromanticism exists. But still, I decided I'll never do antyhing I don't truly feel like doing, just because that's what people around me are telling me I should do. And since then, haven't felt the need to form any romantic relationship. Hmmm... I wonder why :))

I love not having to worry about hurting people when I feel some sort of attraction towards them (context: before I knew I was aro, I've been in relationships because that's what I thought I should do in that situation, and ended up hurting someone that was really close to me because I couldn't get myself to like them romantically, even though I tried. After that incident, each time I had a squish, or just the desire to be emotionally close to someone, I was afraid that I'm not feeling the same way they do, and that I'll just hurt them; knowing I'm aro allowed me to define what I actually feel and want, so that issue is not there anymore) Not trying to be mean to allos, but I feel that platonic love is deeper, in a sense, as it doesn't revolve around what's expected by society, it's not possesive, and can't turn into hate; but it can still be intense. I love that I can love my close friends with all my heart, without having to worry about all the complications of romantic relationships.

Yeah all of these obstacles in adopting sound quite annoying..hopefully it's still possible though. It's something I would love to do in the future, but honestly I wouldn't mind if my QPP had a romantic partner and I can just be a third parent if that makes sense; idk, or adopt alone.

Yeah I think that overall, a QPR can happen between people with any/ no attraction; they could feel friendship, maybe even lowkey romantic feelings. What matters is the type of relationship. But I think what people refer to when they say QPR attraction is alterous attraction, a desire for emotional connection that doesn't really fit into either platonic or romantic attraction. So how I see it, QP attraction is a third option, a combination of platonic and romantic feelings, but neither at the same time. Everyone can experience it in a different way. Kinda an umbrella term for attraction that is neither THIS or THAT, like non binary is for gender.

I wrote a poem about my feelings for my best friend, now far away, and wanted to see what you think about it. I know it's not the best poetry you'll ever read, but still, it's a reflection of my aro experience. I didn't show it to her yet, and I doubt I ever will, I don't want to freak her out. Anyway, hope you'll like it. The love of an aroace Remember when I said you are the light of my life Maybe you thought I was exagerating But then why am I incapable of forgetting The way I felt each time you touched me with your kindness? I felt seen, I felt safe I felt capable and free Free to cry, free to smile Free to laugh and love You were always able to say what you think While still being kind, wow, what a skill But most importantly, you helped me Love myself like you love me But I don't think you understand the extent of my love I would do anything, hell, even die for you You know, if I could fall in love It would have been with you But I can't, so relax, don't get scared I wasn't jealous of your boyfriend Being important to you, feeling loved By you was all that I ever wanted What you gave me was more than I could ever ask for A hug, a helping hand, all your support and love I never needed anything else; friends are all I live for But from you I learned how it feels to truly love I miss you, more than I like to admit I feel a hole in my soul when you don't answer me I was really afraid that it would come to this That I'd depend on you while you won't have time for me But that's okay, really, don't worry about me I'm readapting to my country, to my family I just wanted to tell you what I didn't then know Best friends felt too little to describe our bond When I had to let you go, I thought my heart might break I wasn't prepared to not have you around You, the person closest to my heart I loved you in a way you wouldn't understand Anyways, what can I do? I will just continue loving you Like only an aroace can do There's nothing I would change in my relationship with you I just wish I knew it sooner I just wish I could have told you I just wish it wouldn't scare you And that we could remain the same, forever But now you're far away, it's hard to even be a friend And so, just know you'll always be in my heart In there you have your own, huge compartment. I love you, too much -your aroace best friend.