Jump to content

Platonic dating, share your experience


Recommended Posts

I'm thinking about dating platonically once the pandemic calms down. To create some online profile stating that I'm aromantic asexual and looking for friendships that are a bit outside what's considered normal platonic relationship. That include cuddling, maybe some kissing and emotional intimacy. Not necessarily a qpr because I don't want to be someone's "special someone". I won't consider that friendship better than my other ones. But I feel hesitant because it feels so personal putting it all out there in a public dating place. I don't normally talk in debt about my orientation to people who don't know anything about a-spec. 

So I was curious to hear about others experience of dating platonically. What did you do and how was it?

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

I never dated with this intention, but I am starting to try QPR.  I know you wrote you don't search for that but I feel like its a similar Problem.

I am wondering how to do that . Many people just skip your profile when they see 'Aromantic' without thinking twice. But not making it clear from the beginning is also really stressfull and I don't know... 

My dates, never were romantic in the first place necause I act so casual and friendsy around my dates that I get 'Friendzoned' immediately.

 

Maybe searching for a BFF would be the right course... Some of my friends told me that they were so close with their BFFs that they cuddle and Kiss. (Though I really don't know how tgey got there) 

 

Sorry for not being so much of a help ><

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, I'm sorta in the same boat. I'd like to be close to someone in that way, but not romantically. I recently started considering a QPR. But that's a new concept for me, and I don't know how that works or how people eventually get into them. And I also totally get not wanting to be someone's "special someone." I'd love a "cuddle buddy", but It wouldn't have to be exclusive, you know? Like pretty much exactly what you stated above. But how many other people would realistically go for that?? Obviously it's a thing, otherwise posts like this wouldn't exist, but how does one find someone like that? I'm anxious for someone to reply who's actually gotten there. 🤔

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Aversa said:

I am wondering how to do that . Many people just skip your profile when they see 'Aromantic' without thinking twice. But not making it clear from the beginning is also really stressfull and I don't know... 

Yeah, me too. I’d wish to have a “queerplatonic dating app”

sometimes I’d love to try out a qpr, but I don’t know how to find one and “normal dating” or to register on a dating app with allos scares me off

 @Holmbo I understand that it may seem too personal to write it on your profile, but I believe that’s the best/fairest way to act..

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Acecream said:

sometimes I’d love to try out a qpr, but I don’t know how to find one and “normal dating” or to register on a dating app with allos scares me off

Yes, exactly! I've thought about it, just to maybe make a new friend, but then I know why most other people are on there, so I'm just like "...um, no thanks."

I'm starting to feel like we're all just treading water in here. 😆 Except I can't swim... 😨

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, InvisibleSquid said:

Yes, exactly! I've thought about it, just to maybe make a new friend, but then I know why most other people are on there, so I'm just like "...um, no thanks."

I'm starting to feel like we're all just treading water in here. 😆 Except I can't swim... 😨

I always use Bumble Bff side to make new Friends. Its chill because nobody wants more then that and well I also mentioned on both my Profiles that I'd like to try  a QPR. 

I but it on Bunble  BFF as well because I think the chance to find someone on that 'Level' might be higher. 

I don't expect much but maybe I find some close friends :>

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/22/2021 at 6:42 AM, Aversa said:

I always use Bumble Bff side to make new Friends. Its chill because nobody wants more then that and well I also mentioned on both my Profiles that I'd like to try  a QPR.

Ah, okay. I've heard of that app. I might have a look.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I tried to use a dating app to look for possible partners for cuddles but I did not put I was aroace at the moment (I did not know I was ace at the moment and I suggested I did not saw relationships from a normal perspective) and to be honest it was not sooo bad. People texted me back trying to look for sex and trying to change me mostly. I stopped after a week because it felt wrong and I felt that I would not find anyone this way.

That was my experience, maybe if you state it clearly from the beginning it can be different, but I can understand the scary part because you are exposing a part of you that normal people who use dating apps cannot relate to. My advice is to try it, give yourself a time period to see if it works. If you see many negativity just delete the account and move on. This way, you gave it a try and the people who write you are at some point interested in your profile. Also, you don't have to say you are aro per se, say you are looking for a friendship outside societal norms and no sex (if that is what you want). and if someone writes you, at least you know they are willing to try something along those lines. It is a trial and error but I see no other way to find someone other than looking for it. I did not have a great experience, but maybe you do ^^ hope that whatever you do works out for you

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/21/2021 at 5:24 PM, Acecream said:

I’d wish to have a “queerplatonic dating app

does anyone here know how to code? because we should totally make this app.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, HumanBeing26 said:

does anyone here know how to code? because we should totally make this app.

I was thinking about making this actually.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

As far as platonic dating goes, I use queer apps like taimi to look for cuddle companions + friendships. While I do want a QPR/QPP or just to be platonically in a Polyamorous Relationship I'm not in a place to pursue one. There's also discord groups for finding QPPs/ ace/Aro dating.

It would be awesome to have an app like that! Gets a bit tiresome explaining how things would work to people that are under the ace/Aro umbrella.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

I'm a computer science student. It's my first year, and we didn't learn how to make apps, but I don't think it would be much different from making a PC programm.

If there are people who are interested in doing it, maybe I could help a bit ^^

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...