Aversa

Might be a controversity in it self but do you think that would be a good idea? Like Bumble Friends but with different, more open intention? Is there anything like that already?

The Titel is really relatable. Anyways. I can kinda understand your confusion... I think? I am Cupipromantic but romantic stuff like kissing,holding hands and all that grosses me out/makes me feel missplaced. At the same time I kinda crave it? Not these two things specifically but being closer to people then what friendship has to offer me. BUT I get so sweaty and my heartrate goes up to 1000 when I cuddle with people! I get so hyperaware of touch that I can't chillax! WTF. WHAT DO I WANT?! So yeah. I figured it's being lonely and fill it with more friends. I usually don't like to hang out with new people cuz I'd rather be with the people I love instead. I want emotional intamacy! But I had to get over that. I can'z focus on two people in my life, cuz they have other things and can't tend to me 24/7 so making new friends it is! It's draining and awkward but at some point it then clicks. As for the 'being closer' part... IDK. I am just confused about that! I hope you find out about your feels x.x

That is really cute @Lovebird! So happy for the both of you :'D Thanks for sharing. I also never know how to feel about confessions! The last time I said yes on impulse was a disaster lol. Good that it was the right person who told you :'>

Hellow dear A-Specs! As a Cupioromantic, who never had a Relationship or QPR I am very curious about how you got where you guys are now. It's hard to believe that this is even possible if you are AroAce and never ever have romantic or sexual attraction! Cuz how do you even get close in that way then? Oh, well or it's just me since I have problems to iniciate physical contact of any kind? Idk, but I would be happy to hear about your journey! How did you meet? What made you decide that you want to be with them? Did you ever feel guilt because you don't feel the same way as them? Do you cuddle and stuff like that? Etc. I wish you all the best ♡ regardless of your choice to answer or not

I feel kind tired about wrting this here, cuz I am pretty sure no one can help me but me, but... I need to let it out. So to anyone reading this: Thanks for listening! So I have a friend. Lets call them (A) This friend is everything to me. They are the person I want to grow old with. The only person that ever really mattered. We know each other since childhood, we are both on the Aro and Ace Spec and we share a really strong connection. Nothing they evee did could draw me away. We are best friends, the No.1 Persons in our lifes but we are not exclusive, no QPR and that always sat right with me. Like I really didn't care. We had a few talks about it and came to the conclusion that defining pur relationship would only put pressure on us and otherwise change nothing. But after recently being away for one month I return to find a new person in our friend group. This new Guy took a like in my Soulmate. He is nice and all otherwise, I kinda liked him. Until (A) told me that he has romantic interest in them. Thats what they told me on one of our cuddle sessions. Ofc they didn't have any interest but then told me that they wanted to experiment a little and startet to sleep with that guy. They agreed on fwb. I was confused at first but I want them to find out want they want. But since I know this I started to get pretty fu*kin jelly. I realy hate it! I get so angry and sad when they spend time to getter and he takes up a lot of the time we did spend together. A LOT. Ofc it' good if (A) has other friends and they should spend time with who they want. I want them to be happy but I am just so sad. It hurts so much. And I hate myself for being a jealous b&tch. I don't want to be like that. But I know as long as this lasts I will keep hurting and being jelly. Why? Why am I afraid of losing them? I am not jealous abot the sex I don't wanna sleep with them but since I know about that part everything went downhill for me. I hurt every day I still want to be close to (A) closer then they are with him. At the same time I want to distance my self from them. Just look away for a while. So what the F do I want?

I mean. Two of my closest Friends know and my brother. Is that outet? I handle my Aro Orientation very carefully because I am Sapphic Cupioromantic and I have a maybe irrational fear, that no one will date me if they put me together with 'Aromantic'. Yeah I know...don't judge me

I feel the same. I am cupio. And it hurts. I want romance but...well... Aro all the way.

Well... I read this book before I knew that I am Aro. Let's say I had some realizations while reading it... some that hit me hard. So I have a deep connection to this book and I am very grateful to Alice Oseman for writting it. As to the part she still trief to date...well. I actually could relate to that part heavily. I tried to date and be allo my whole life. But it annoyed me as well... espacially the kiss part. I guess for anybody else its not a above average book. But I can recommend it :)

Tree. At least I am still alive this way. Die burning in a fire or being burried alive?

Hey... I identify as Aro since 2020 and I still get those days in which I feel so incredebly lonely. It only last a few hours in which I hate being aromantic and wonder what I did wrong to deserve this. No family, no chance to make my own family and friends slowly drifing into their own family life. At these moments a truly hate everything related to romance. And in these moments it scares me that 20 years from now I will still be living the life I am living now. Maybe in another place, with new friends but... the feeling remains. I know it sounds bad, but it comes and goes. At this point I believe that these periodic moments of grief will stay forever. Will they? I wonder if someone has similar experiences...

I always use Bumble Bff side to make new Friends. Its chill because nobody wants more then that and well I also mentioned on both my Profiles that I'd like to try a QPR. I but it on Bunble BFF as well because I think the chance to find someone on that 'Level' might be higher. I don't expect much but maybe I find some close friends :>

I never dated with this intention, but I am starting to try QPR. I know you wrote you don't search for that but I feel like its a similar Problem. I am wondering how to do that . Many people just skip your profile when they see 'Aromantic' without thinking twice. But not making it clear from the beginning is also really stressfull and I don't know... My dates, never were romantic in the first place necause I act so casual and friendsy around my dates that I get 'Friendzoned' immediately. Maybe searching for a BFF would be the right course... Some of my friends told me that they were so close with their BFFs that they cuddle and Kiss. (Though I really don't know how tgey got there) Sorry for not being so much of a help ><

Thank you @arokaladin in, your words really helped me and now that I feel that I am not alone with my struggles... I feel better

Yes... Its been a hard year. I am very good a keeping friends. I reach out to them and they reach out to me. But over the last year everything started to feel shallow since chatting and discord talks took over. I hate that, I just feel disconnected from them and I need that emotional bond. People started to keep things to them selfes and I noticed that from me too. Normaly I don't mind sharing my feelings but recently I feel bad oversharing maybe because they stopped doing it too. I feel lonely even while not alone.

I am also from NRW and searching for Aro meetups. Its so hard to find other aros with who you can connect with.

Yes, thanks! I have heard of it and I thought that may be the reason ehy it hurtsbso much to distant myself from all of that. I need to dive more into that topic. I... might want to be alone... But recently I also don't want to. Back then, when I had school I never felt lonely, yes the oblivious young me dreamed about tacky cute realtionships but was alrigut without it... but now that I can't see my friends everyday for a couple of houres I feel frequently like I need a companion. The enotional bonds become less and less... I just don't know how to deal with that aching lonely feeling. I am sorry for being such a crybaby.

Hello, So... I am new to the Aromantic Spec, because... It sounds so negativ but I've always hoped that I am not Aro. I always loved (still do) the idea od dating, couples etc. I read cute fabfictions since I am 12 and always thought 'love will find me one day'. At some point I started dating, but never felt something but unease. The Idea of kissing is so sweet but doing it... My first kiss was SO disgusting, I wanted to puke (I felt indifferend to any kiss after that first one). Back then I thought 'You feel that way because its not the right one.. Yet.' Then I came to the conclusion that I am Demiromantic, cause my friends are the only ones I feel really close with. Sometimes I get this 'I would be ok with dating you but not dating you is okay as hell as well.' But after 22 years of being single and never having a crush on a real person I started to rethink. I always feel unconfirtable when it comes to romantic expectations of others. I an Ace for a while now, and at the beginning I thought it was the sexual pressure that pulled me away... But no... I am so confused because. The idea of a QPR seems so perfect to me. At the same time I am always nervous around people I get to close to. I am stiff and overthink and... I don't even kbow what I am trying to get at here. Maybe just some support or your experieces on finding out what you want. I just don't want to be alone. I want to have a person for me... And at the same time I just want to be alone. Please have a beautiful day!