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Kojote
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Hey there. 

I'm Kojote or Kojo for short. I'm 26 years old and from Germany. It took me 23 years of my life and a really hurtful chain of events to make me realize I'm not a late bloomer, demi-romantic or asexual or just "haven't found the right one yet". I was really devastated back then, but I'm really secure in my identity now. It helps me a lot and I love it. My worries now are primarily future orientated, because I find it hard to picture a life without a family, were you're not basically alone most of the time =\ 

I also consider myself asexual by circumstances and agender, which is why I like to joke around about being AAA(tripleA) all the time. I don't care much for pronouns though. Most say "she" and sometimes "it". "They" is really no option in germany, because they and she are the same word in our language xD ("sie"). 

 

Apart from my orientation, I'm currently striving to become a 2D/3D Artist for Games. I love gaming (d'uh!), reading, movies, drawing and being overall creative! I just love creating stuff, be it costumes, drawings, jewelry or 3D Art. It's pretty much 99% of my life now xD"

 

I'm so psyched to find an aro forum though! The romantic world seems so alien most of the time, but you supposed to not question it to much. I'm already looking forward to find some likeminded people =D

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Welcome to Arocalypse! :aropride:

e53V8Oq.jpg

It's never late to learn. I was even older than you when I came out to myself as an ace (and then as an aro).

 

16 minutes ago, Kojote said:

"They" is really no option in germany, because they and she are the same word in our language xD ("sie"). 

 

It also amuses me that 'a girl' is 'das Mädchen', which is a rare case when a word of feminine gender carries a neuter article [for grammatical reasons: -en is a suffix that normally indicates the plural but here it's used in the singular and there needs to be a distinction between the singular form and the plural 'die Mädchen']. This reminds me about my teenage perception of girls as aliens that was hard to get rid of :ph34r: (as I'm very excitable aesthetically and afraid of showing my excitement :euphemism: in public).

18 minutes ago, Kojote said:

Apart from my orientation, I'm currently striving to become a 2D/3D Artist for Games. I love gaming (d'uh!), reading, movies, drawing and being overall creative! I just love creating stuff, be it costumes, drawings, jewelry or 3D Art. It's pretty much 99% of my life now xD"

 

If I had too much spare money, I'd start a gaming business recruiting mainly aros and aces as artists :D The problem is that I'm never going to have too much money - it's not part of my simple living strategy.

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22 minutes ago, Kojote said:

I'm so psyched to find an aro forum though! The romantic world seems so alien most of the time, but you supposed to not question it to much. I'm already looking forward to find some likeminded people =D

 

Welcome aboard! I felt the same when I first found there's a community for aros! I mean I'm aro/ace but even ace community like AVEN seems somewhat alien to me when it comes to romance. I just can't relate to much of alloromanticism.. :/

Here's some icecream :icecream:

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10 minutes ago, aroMa(n)tisse said:

It also amuses me that 'a girl' is 'das Mädchen', which is a rare case when a word of feminine gender carries a neuter article [for grammatical reasons: -en is a suffix that normally indicates the plural but here it's used in the singular and there needs to be a distinction between the singular form and the plural 'die Mädchen']. This reminds me about my teenage perception of girls as aliens that was hard to get rid of :ph34r: (as I'm very excitable aesthetically and afraid of showing my excitement :euphemism: in public).

 

Yeah I love that about my language xD

I'm down for being called "it" and in some dialects, that's exactly what'll happen to young girls. If you're being polite, you also use "Sie" (female - she) for males (and really anybody), which is known as "siezen". As far as pronouns go, german is pretty unusual.

 

Quote

If I had too much spare money, I'd start a gaming business recruiting mainly aros and aces as artists :D The problem is that I'm never going to have too much money - it's not part of my simple living strategy.

 

That'd be sooooo awesome, but that might not be that unusual. I do have the impression that there are more aros/aces/LGBT+ among creatives, than in other jobs. Or maybe they are just more open. We even had a gay trans man at my internship and nobody bat an eye! It was awesome. 

 

Thanks for welcoming me =D und yay! Ice Cream <3 

13 minutes ago, AlexisS said:

 

Welcome aboard! I felt the same when I first found there's a community for aros! I mean I'm aro/ace but even ace community like AVEN seems somewhat alien to me when it comes to romance. I just can't relate to much of alloromanticism.. :/

Here's some icecream :icecream:

 

Aw thanks! Yeah, I started out at AVEN a few weeks ago? But I had the same feeling as you did :C Even though they tried, their perspective was still pretty much romantic (and kind of defensive about it) .___. 

I was so happy to see someone write about arocalypse. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have know about this place? 

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35 minutes ago, Kojote said:

I do have the impression that there are more aros/aces/LGBT+ among creatives, than in other jobs. Or maybe they are just more open.

 

Indeed. They don't have to conform to societal expectations as much as those who have mundane corporate jobs, hence they're more likely to come out of the closet.

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Hello and wellcome

 

I had the same issue with Sie. I use male pronouns or gender neutral so when I went to Germany I was sometimes confused if people mis-gendered me or if they were just being polite.  (Because my German isn't the best) 

 

 

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Welcome! :icecream: I'm German too and to be honest I sometimes really hate our language xD It's not just the inexistent gender-neutral pronouns (except for "it", but I personally would hate being called that), but also things like "you". Why do we need two words? I hate it that everyone calls me "Sie", seriously why can't everyone just talk to each other as "du"? That would make me a lot more comfortable.

Anyway, nice to meet another creative person! I'm trying to become an illustrator ^_^

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Welcome to Arocalypse! I don't speak German but I just googled the pronouns and that does look like a pickle. In French there's no gender neutral whatsoever and even if one was made up it would still sound male or female so I know how annoying language can be! :icecream:

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Thanks for the warm welcome! I love how ice-cream is a thing here =D :icecream::icecream::icecream::icecream:

 

3 hours ago, aihpen said:

Welcome! :icecream: I'm German too and to be honest I sometimes really hate our language xD It's not just the inexistent gender-neutral pronouns (except for "it", but I personally would hate being called that), but also things like "you". Why do we need two words? I hate it that everyone calls me "Sie", seriously why can't everyone just talk to each other as "du"? That would make me a lot more comfortable.

Anyway, nice to meet another creative person! I'm trying to become an illustrator ^_^

 

I so get that. I hate our formal "Sie", too o_o I'm so glad that the profession I plan on joining on graduation is super casual an says "du" all the time. 

 

Yay! That's awesome. Do you have some stuff to show? Like a tumblr or DA? =D

 

1 hour ago, Sooty Owl said:

Welcome to Arocalypse!

 

Oh I've got the same problem in French. Everything is gendered and the "it" pronoun doesn't even exist.

 

Yeah I remember that from way back, when I used to learn french in school. it's only "Il" and "Elle"... right? That seems awfully binary =\

 

Either way, I think I'm fine with "it". I know it's usually meant as an insult, but it also de-genders me completely. You wouldn't get into a relationship with an "IT". Plus, friends of mine usually arrived there, because they didn't feel that "she" nor "he" quite fit me, I never had to specifically ask them to use it... soooooo it's more like a badge of honor. To me at least =D 

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11 minutes ago, Kojote said:

Yeah I remember that from way back, when I used to learn french in school. it's only "Il" and "Elle"... right? That seems awfully binary =\

 

Right, and in subjectless sentences like 'It's raining', 'It's necessary to...', French speakers use 'il' - 'Il pleut', 'Il faut...' - apparently referring to God, who is masculine in French, as usual in European languages.

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Hi, welcome to Arocalypse! :icecream: 

There are many different lifestyles possible for aros. You could live by yourself, you could live with a roommate or two, or some other cooperative housing arrangement. If you want children, some single people do raise children, so you could have that too. And there are more and more people identifying as aro, so you co-parenting with someone might be an option too, if that's what you want. That said, this is a concern of many aros. 

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Yeah, in French there's no escaping the gender binary. Phones have a gender. Computers have a gender. Even dust has a gender. Nothing makes sense.

 

@aroMa(n)tisse I'm a native speaker and I've never heard that the impersonal "il" was supposed to refer to God? That doesn't even make much sense because you cannot "pleuvoir", if you were refering to someone doing the action you'd say "il fait pleuvoir".

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10 hours ago, Kojote said:

I so get that. I hate our formal "Sie", too o_o I'm so glad that the profession I plan on joining on graduation is super casual an says "du" all the time. 

 

Yay! That's awesome. Do you have some stuff to show? Like a tumblr or DA? =D

No, but I thought about drawing something for my profile picture. However I'm currently working on my portfolio to apply at uni, so obviously that has priority right now :)

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2 hours ago, aihpen said:

No, but I thought about drawing something for my profile picture. However I'm currently working on my portfolio to apply at uni, so obviously that has priority right now :)

I remember that @_@ It was fun but also nerve-wrecking. Good luck on your applications! :D:icecream:

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Hey! I keep admiring your profile picture. Welcome to the forum! I'm fascinated by how other languages are smashing the gender binary, successful or not, though it has been a long time since German was on my radar. I'm a creative too, off to uni to study Illustration in three months aaaaaaaa.

 

On 12/06/2016 at 2:06 PM, aroMa(n)tisse said:

It also amuses me that 'a girl' is 'das Mädchen', which is a rare case when a word of feminine gender carries a neuter article [for grammatical reasons: -en is a suffix that normally indicates the plural but here it's used in the singular and there needs to be a distinction between the singular form and the plural 'die Mädchen'].

 

Dutch does this too for "the girl" - "het meisje". In this case it's because it's a diminutive word that became standard, and all diminutives are neuter, because reasons. It also has the she/they being the same word problem.

 

16 hours ago, Sooty Owl said:

I'm a native speaker and I've never heard that the impersonal "il" was supposed to refer to God? That doesn't even make much sense because you cannot "pleuvoir", if you were refering to someone doing the action you'd say "il fait pleuvoir".

 

One time I got incredibly drunk and my then-gf's mum decided to take that moment to teach me the (theoretical?) conjugations of pleuvoir. Am I allowed to say "I rain"? :P

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18 minutes ago, Lynx said:

Hey! I keep admiring your profile picture. Welcome to the forum! I'm fascinated by how other languages are smashing the gender binary, successful or not, though it has been a long time since German was on my radar. I'm a creative too, off to uni to study Illustration in three months aaaaaaaa.

 

Thank you! It's one of my own, even though slightly older =D I hope you have fun in your illustrations course! I'm studying media design right now. Not as art focused, but more technical ^^

 

Heres the full illustration btw °v° The arrow is unintentional, but I though it'd fit ;D 

Spoiler

tumblr_nkk8x1he7j1rp4t44o1_540.jpg

 

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On 12 juin 2016 at 3:41 PM, Louis Hypo said:

 In French there's no gender neutral whatsoever and even if one was made up it would still sound male or female 

Unless you want to be called "ça"... 

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"ça" still has a gender. Whatever adjective you're going to put after it will be gendered. So there's really no way of using it as a gender neutral term unless you meticulously plan your sentences so that they won't contain any adjectives or personal verbs or a good portion of past tense verbs.

 

"on" was originally used when you didn't know the identity of the person. For example if you want to say "someone's broken the window" you'd say "on a cassé la fenêtre"; but know it's mainly used as an informal "we". So no, that's clearly not a viable replacement for gendered pronouns. Plus you'd still have the adjectives and verbs problems that you'd have with "ça".

 

@Lynx nah you can only use it with "il", sorry :P you can't rain, but you can make it rain though.

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