Early signs that you were aro

[who_knocks]

23 hours ago, Guest Ur dad came back :))) said:

As a fellow aroace wdym by that? (Just curious and I only have 0.5 brain cells)

Meme hello

Saying "just friends" kinda minimizes the importance of friendship, like saying a romantic relationship is "more than friends." I think both are important for many people and one type of relationship isn't inherently less than the other just because it lacks romance. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but saying "just friends" feels like I'm implying friendship is lesser.

[Guest Milly]

I did get a few ¨crushes¨when I was a kid and nothing ever came of them, but the 3 times I´ve been in a relationship, I felt extremely uncomfortable immediately and ended each of them after a week or less. That was in middle school btw. I thought about dating them all the time and imagined us doing stuff, but as soon as I was actually someone's girlfriend I wanted to escape immediately and felt pure disgust for that person. I think I thought that I had a crush because of aesthetic attraction to them and because of the idea that everyone must be in love, so I forced myself to have crushes. Now if I see someone that I think looks good-looking or cool, I remember that I wouldn't actually want to date them😭It feels different from other aros bc they all seem to have known that romance wasn't for them or just didn't have an interest, but I thought that romance was cool until I realized I couldn't actually feel enough of anything to sustain a relationship. Is there a specific term for this?

[Guest Atlas (He HIm)]

On 10/19/2023 at 8:33 AM, Guest Atlas (He HIm) said:

Continuation: The specific name for my feelings in Bellusromantic (Bellusromantic is a micro-label on the aromantic spectrum defined as having interest in traditionally romantic things, such as kissing or cuddling, but not feeling romantic attraction, and not wanting a romantic relationship.) But I just prefer the term AroAce, it's more comfortable (name-wise). 

Yo! I've made some pride flags cause I can't describe my feelings so yeah. 

Fluere-romantic- Describes oneself as being fluid between the identities of bellus-romantic and cupioromantic.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/HhDRnR8Ym7UnPZKCA

Gyno-queerplatonic- Describes oneself only experiencing queer-platonic attraction towards females or femininity.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/RCW3g65g6rNBFcr2A

Andro-queerplatonic- Describes oneself only experiencing queer-platonic attraction towards males or masculinity.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/SRDnciabggvyW5oo8

Pan-queerplatonic- Describes oneself experiencing queer-platonic attraction towards anyone of any gender/gender presentation.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/aYqPZbT9Y4zC3MCm8

I'm also question as Demi-romantic rn but it could just be a queer platonic crush

[Guest Atlas (He HIm)]

On 10/28/2023 at 4:09 PM, who_knocks said:

Saying "just friends" kinda minimizes the importance of friendship, like saying a romantic relationship is "more than friends." I think both are important for many people and one type of relationship isn't inherently less than the other just because it lacks romance. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but saying "just friends" feels like I'm implying friendship is lesser.

Ah OK! Understood! Thanks. I agree that friends ships are just as, if not more, important as romantic relationships and it totally defeats the purpose of explaining a QPR. 

[Guest Atlas (He HIm)]

On 10/29/2023 at 12:04 AM, Guest Milly said:

I did get a few ¨crushes¨when I was a kid and nothing ever came of them, but the 3 times I´ve been in a relationship, I felt extremely uncomfortable immediately and ended each of them after a week or less. That was in middle school btw. I thought about dating them all the time and imagined us doing stuff, but as soon as I was actually someone's girlfriend I wanted to escape immediately and felt pure disgust for that person. I think I thought that I had a crush because of aesthetic attraction to them and because of the idea that everyone must be in love, so I forced myself to have crushes. Now if I see someone that I think looks good-looking or cool, I remember that I wouldn't actually want to date them😭It feels different from other aros bc they all seem to have known that romance wasn't for them or just didn't have an interest, but I thought that romance was cool until I realized I couldn't actually feel enough of anything to sustain a relationship. Is there a specific term for this?

Aros can still like romance based stuff without wanting any of that. I might be wrong abt that. I am a demi-romantic questoning aroace but I love romance novels, shows, ect but I'm not interested in romantic relationships. 

Also there is a term called WTF-romantic/Quoiromantic; someone who finds romantic attraction confusing, or cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, or is unsure of whether they experience romantic attraction. I didn't realize I was Aroace until just this summer because of me liking romance shows and books and stuff. I've just never had a real crush, been in one relationship, hated it (cus it was toxic), thought I was cupioromantic, then found out wanting to kiss and hold hands without romantic feelings is not what a romantic relationship is (idealy), found out i'm aroace, then figure out I'm bellusromantic, don't like the term, stick to aroace, and now I'm a questioning demi-romantic because I might like a REALLY close friend. Then again it could just be a squish. 

[MondoBilby]

There were no specific signs, I just never thought about romance or kissing anyone or anything like that. When I was little, I just treated romance like...it's there...I don't really care about it. Infact, I think it's quite gross. I used to create stories all the time and none of them ever involved romance of any kind, I was just never a fan of it. I never questioned that until I found out about aromanticism and decided to do more research about it.

[Guest Atlas (He HIm)]

On 11/3/2023 at 2:59 PM, Guest Atlas (He HIm) said:

Aros can still like romance based stuff without wanting any of that. I might be wrong abt that. I am a demi-romantic questoning aroace but I love romance novels, shows, ect but I'm not interested in romantic relationships. 

Also there is a term called WTF-romantic/Quoiromantic; someone who finds romantic attraction confusing, or cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, or is unsure of whether they experience romantic attraction. I didn't realize I was Aroace until just this summer because of me liking romance shows and books and stuff. I've just never had a real crush, been in one relationship, hated it (cus it was toxic), thought I was cupioromantic, then found out wanting to kiss and hold hands without romantic feelings is not what a romantic relationship is (idealy), found out i'm aroace, then figure out I'm bellusromantic, don't like the term, stick to aroace, and now I'm a questioning demi-romantic because I might like a REALLY close friend. Then again it could just be a squish. 

CRYING RN. NO IM NOT. I"M DEF NOT DEMI BUT IT"S JUST A PLUSH. LOL. 

[Koffee]

In late middle school, or early times in high school some girl listed TEN crushes she had on the board, i didnt even have ONE?????

[Guest Tristian]

On 11/10/2023 at 7:15 AM, Koffee said:

In late middle school, or early times in high school some girl listed TEN crushes she had on the board, i didn't even have ONE?????

Yo what. How did she have ten????? I have had fake crushes but TEN REAL ONES. OML.

[CosmicCrow]

When I was a kid/teen I always wanted "a house big enough for me and a dog." Never even thought of getting married, even when I was dating. At one point I'd sworn off love completely (until a guy asked me out, but that obviously fell through).

Edited November 15, 2023 by CosmicCrow

[GoodbyeRepublicServices]

On 11/10/2023 at 5:15 AM, Koffee said:

In late middle school, or early times in high school some girl listed TEN crushes she had on the board, i didnt even have ONE?????

She may as well have admitted to liking everybody!

[Oko]

I'm new here and I'm still asking if I'm aro or not. But maybe this:

• I had a friend, we had common hobbies, we liked to spend time together, we were close. Than he confessed he is in love wtih me. And I was like: "Oh f*ck, no!" He started to strive for dating with me and I didn't understand why we couldn't just be friends? It wasn't just one person, the "friendzone" was often thing in my life. It's terrible, I know...
• I have just lived my life and missed nothing. Just when somebody started to talk about relationships and "You don't have any boyfriend, why?" I just responded "I don't have. So what?"
• Romantic movies/stories are boring😁

[Guest Abi]

When I was young I thought it was pointless and stupid to have crushes or be in relationships. To this day I sometimes don’t get it. When I experienced sexual attraction for the first time things changed a lot. But even my more romantic crushes I didn’t want to kiss them or spend time together. It was like a friend that I wanted to be special. But I would reject a lot of people when I was younger. Also people used to asume that I liked people I didn’t all the time just cause I would talk and spend time with guys. Wich for some strange reason kids didn’t talked to the oposite sex onless they liked them. I was just equally disinterested in people. 

[Guest Tristian/Atlas]

Yeah no i'm demi. Sorry for confusion lmao

[Guest]

Never i has got romantic dreams and my BEST momento i think that never was romantic with someones or with anyone

[Sili]

So, relativly recently I remembered something. I must have been around 8 at most (probably younger), and I had kinda realised that it was normal for couples to form and marry. So, a little bit worried that I would have to find a girl to marry I asked my parents if /everyone/ gets married when they grow up.

My parents explained that no, not everyone needs to get married, and lots of people never get married, which made me feel better.

[organs and bone]

when somebody in 6th grade had a crush on me and his friends were all like “ do you like ____?” I, the stupid 6th grader that i was answered no because i had known him a really long time and so obviously no?!?!?

 

aaaa i do wish i could take that back lmao 😭 

[algebraicresc]

When somebody asked me in elementary school who I had a crush on and I didn’t have one, I picked my closest friend (of the same gender) and, when everyone stared at me weirdly, insisted that I didn’t want to date her and only “liked her as a friend”, but that regardless I still had a crush on her. facepalm (also internalized homophobia 😭)

Edited April 5 by algebraicresc

[Leistorm]

When I was like 14 I started questioning because I used to have crushes, but I had no desire to date them. Like, I was so sure that I had romantic attraction but just didn't see myself dating the object of attraction.

Turns out it was platonic attraction and I completely messed up the definition of romantic attraction because nobody would bother to actually tell me what it was. "Hey what's a crush?" "Oh! Uh--it's--um--when you, like--your heart beats faster--you start stuttering--and--like--OH YOU'LL JUST KNOW"

*tired aroace sigh* 

[allhailtheglowcloud]

Childhood me thought that having a crush meant that you really dislike someone and you want to crush them, so I got really mad when someone said they had a crush on me and angrily said that I have a crush on them too. That led to some pretty fun confusion later on

[organs and bone]

2 minutes ago, allhailtheglowcloud said:

Childhood me thought that having a crush meant that you really dislike someone and you want to crush them, so I got really mad when someone said they had a crush on me and angrily said that I have a crush on them too. That led to some pretty fun confusion later on

Best definition ever lmaoo

[AroAceGamer]

I would always complain about it when a book/movie became romance focused

[P4R4D0X]

I kinda just avoided drama and gossip, mostly because:

"No, I don't want to hear who sophia or lily or jack or anyone likes." (yes I said that)

[Leistorm]

On 4/9/2024 at 12:08 PM, allhailtheglowcloud said:

Childhood me thought that having a crush meant that you really dislike someone and you want to crush them, so I got really mad when someone said they had a crush on me and angrily said that I have a crush on them too. That led to some pretty fun confusion later on

This is low-key the funniest shit i've ever seen. I had something similar, actually. When I was a kid, my friends told me a boy had a crush on me and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "a rock??" because I seemed to associate the word "crush" with the literal crushing of my foot that happened by a rock when I was younger.