birbsRus

Oh hey, I saw a pin about that on Pinterest, it’s actually the thing that got me wondering if I’m aro haha. I really enjoy the character development and dynamics of slow burn relationships in fiction! Actually, even in real life the drama that comes from my dating friends is like a soap opera; it’s pretty entertaining. I probably wouldn’t call myself aegoromantic though, since I can’t be bothered explaining what it is every time someone asks heh.

This is my first time posting in any kind of aro forum, but this has been annoying me for a couple of weeks now and I’d like to sort my feelings out. I’m pretty sure I’m ace, but I’m still trying to figure out if I’m aro as well, thus this post was born. I’ve read through several threads of aromantic experiences and such, but my own experiences don’t seem to match...? So maybe I’m something else... Fair warning: this post got kind of long sorry!! There’s a TLDR at the bottom haha. The following is mostly me just throwing random thoughts/facts and such out, in hopes that maybe one of you can discern if I’m aro lol I’m a pretty big shipper, and I love romance! (Or at least, the idea of it?) I find it incredibly sweet - the thought of finding someone that complements you, having a partner you can rely on and care for (and vice versa). Domestic romance fiction? Yummmm. Slow burn passionate enemies/friends to lovers?? Yessssss!! It’s all just. Great. Although this usually just applies to fanfiction; sometimes when a tv show wastes ages on a romance subplot I get annoyed because I feel like it’s unnecessary and forced when they could be happily friends without all this drama?? I’m also pretty empathetic, so it’s easy for me to extrapolate how people must feel after being cheated on, or how they feel about their crushes, etc. For the longest time, I kind of just assumed that I would eventually get a crush that I would gush and think about all the time but nope!! Nothing!! Over my entire high school time, I had three crushes - except now I feel like they were probably squishes or aesthetic admiration instead. I came to this conclusion after comparing my ‘crushes’ to my friends’ crushes and realising that my crushes were a lot more... toned down? Platonic? Plus I never wanted to actually act on them, I was content to just wait the feelings out, which took max 2 months. I was asked out by a couple of guys, but the thought of actually saying yes never even occurred to me lmao, I was mostly inwardly freaking out about how to let them down gently. Not to mention that I literally never thought about relationships unless someone mentioned it or I read fanfiction lol. The idea of me having a romantic relationship just feels kind of... weird. I love physical affection such as hugs, hand-holding, casual touches, etc., and I get plenty of that from my family and friends. My emotional needs are all met. What would I get out of a romantic relationship???? Literally nothing that I don’t already get! But at the same time I love the idea of having a partner that I can just. vibe with??? I don’t care about having some ~romantic spark~, I just want someone I can watch tv series on the couch with and cuddle, ramble about our interests together, talk about actual feelings with??!? But at the same time, I can’t say I’m actually adverse to a romantic relationship because I’ve never been in one; I just feel kind of indifferent about it. Like,,, oh yeah that exists? But theNN!!! I get crushes on fictional characters!!! I think? At this point I can’t tell the difference between crushes and squishes. Idk sometimes I see a character and they act so damn precious and sweet or reckless and stupid and I want to love and protect them from literally everything including themselves, yknow??? TLDR; i read through a lot of threads, and a lotttt of aros seem to not like physical affection, or they cannot understand (or enjoy) romance at all, they hate PDA, they don’t notice romantic tension, etc., and it’s all just the complete opposite of me. But I still relate to the aromanticism itself. Am I aro, or is there some other thing I was unaware of? Thanks if you actually read through all that ha. EDIT: thanks everyone!! I’m gonna hold off on calling myself aro for now, but this definitely cleared up some things for me