ScarfOfSexualPreference

I love watching any kind of well thought out relationship thrive, whether it's with family, friends, or partners. I unfortunately can't write it, at least not without seeming forced or rushed, since I don't have the life experience of wholesome relationships to build off of Most of my characters are lone wolves

I think the #1 thing I'd want to see is a healthy relationship in which all parties know exactly what they're getting out of the relationship and are cool with it. I would give anything to read or watch someone be in a physical relationship without having the romantic aspect. It might make it seem possible.

There's a guy who's been asking me out on 'dates,' but not making any specific date or time, so I keep getting out of it. His older sister is no fricken help either, since I can always hear her on the other end of a discord call saying "ask her, ask her," and I just ignore it, and he'll ask to go on a walk or something (bc of quarantine), and I'll say "sure that sounds fun" and never address it again. It's kinda difficult bc I want him to just say "want to go on a date?" so I can give him a polite no without being presumptuous. Grr... sometimes I wish I was out.

HAHA I have prevailed!

We have pride club at our school, and I've started tentatively going to it as an ally, since I'm not out yet. For other people who have experience, how should I bring up the topic and make it accessible? It's sort of difficult to go into a club full of people who are super into the romance and the sexual attraction and feel included when I'm so apart from these things.

YES. Thank you for putting this into words!

Banned for having a shape in your name

4

I really like coloring. I suck at drawing things and the process doesn't really interest me, but coloring is so calming and fun, especially if you're doing so with gel pens!

That sounds like heaven to me! I do talk out loud to my dogs a lot, but not having to speak with anyone for a whole day?! Awesome! I might just be in a moody, distant, teenage part of my life, but I wouldn't mind living and operating alone for the rest of my life.

Yeah, it kind of sucks. It also is kind of hard to see romance on tv or in books because they seem so wholesome and happy.

1929

English: Lacrimose German: leckererer (my German teacher's favorite is verschnørkeln (ø = umlaut) or to squiggle) I also saw menagerie and I realized how much I liked that one too.

This is such a writer's mood. I wrote a book and I started it before I discovered my aro-ness. I definitely had romance in mind, I just never figured out how to write it, so it just faded away, and now my characters are aro-ace. I'd say to try and base romance on movies or other books, and write aro-ace-ness from experiences. Maybe have one of the characters ask her out and have her decline. Or maybe put her in a situation where people might normally feel sexual or romantic attraction and have her not feel that? Also, research and interviews always help. Hope this was in any way helpful!

Hey! I'm a sophomore too and I had a boyfriend for a year. For me it felt like I was trapped in a situation that was very confusing and scary for me. Everything I felt was so confusing and I'm still not entirely sure what label I fall under, but I do know that I'm way happier now that the relationship is over. All of the advice above is perfect and you should totally listen to them, they said all that I could say and more. Talk to her, let her know what's going on, and if you feel like it needs to happen, make the break. But I would like to add one more thing. When I broke up with my boyfriend, I had the best afternoon of my life. I felt free and amazing and so happy. But the following week was rough, and even though I now know that I'm aromantic, it still felt like there was a piece of me missing for a while. So I'd tell you that if you decide to break up with her, you should write down your reasons. and if you ever happen to feel like you're not sure about your decision, take a look at your note and remind yourself about those things. It might be hard to let go of a relationship you've been (if you're like me) playing along with for four years. But you've got a whole fricken forum here to help, and a thousand people who've gone through the same thing, so be strong, and remember that you're not in this alone. All the best luck!

One question you might ask yourself would be: Would you mind never being in a long term relationship with anyone for the rest of your life? If not, you might be aro. But if you don't think the label fits, then don't label yourself. Just pay attention to what makes you feel good and what doesn't and hopefully you'll find something that fits.

I 100% agree with Circe. You have the right to be yourself and no one can tell you otherwise. Keep reminding yourself of that. But if you really feel like that isn't working, maybe try to exclude those places from yourself. If you can find any way to make sure that no romantic-type stuff comes into your feed, do that! But, again, above all, remember that you should do what makes you comfortable. And if it's different than what society tells you, then so be it. Blaze a trail!

Hey, I have a problem. I don't really find romance or friendships fulfilling. I want to help others around me feel better by listening to their problems and act selflessly, but I can't really stand interacting one on one with anyone for more than a few hours. For me, it becomes stale and I need to retreat back to alone time. Similarly, I don't like going to parties or large gatherings, but I think that has more to do with my introversion than my platonic or romantic feelings. I'd been doing fine with this during school by varying my commitments and joining lots of different groups. I go to a different club during lunch each day, I'm part of theater, choir, band, soccer, and a hundred more things, and so far this has been really great! I spend under an hour with many different people who I can interact with and I don't mind that at all. In fact, I really enjoyed it. And as a result of this, I didn't have too many close friends, which suits me just fine. I can't let anyone down. But with quarantine, I don't have access to those thirty to forty minute social sessions that fueled my emotional health. So I'm kind of left feeling really lonely. But even if I had someone to hang out with, the thought of going out to social distance with someone makes me sick, especially if it would be one on one time. I can't go shopping and interact with cashiers, I can't go to the library and chat with a librarian, I can't kick a ball around with my friends. It's been really hard. How can I stay happy and feel less alone when I don't like hanging out with others? Should I just stick it out?

This was the thing we did. You'd make a mark on the slider. I think the idea was that it was a spectrum like romantic attraction and sexual attraction. I just put a mark all the way on feminine for the top row and left the bottom row blank, bc at the time I had no clue. The group leader also said that she wasn't really sure what the difference was between romantic and sexual attraction, and I, still having no clue what I was talking about, said that I "liked the look of boys but I'd rather marry a girl because they're easier to be friends with." Our leader just gave me a weird look. Looking back, this was probably the most aro thing I'd done.

No arms bc I could still play soccer and run but I’m carrying less weight. Would you rather watch your least favorite TV show for the rest of your life or never watch the same episode of any show twice?

I am just one year older than you , my friend, so unfortunately I can't give you all the answers. You sound pretty Demi romantic to me, but you've got lots of time to figure out your emotions, so I'd just encourage you to continue exploring. One you find the label that you feel comfortable under, I think you'll know. For now, your could also just call yourself greyromantic (I call myself greysexual bc I'm so young I'm still not sure) if that would make you feel comfy. But you've got a whole bunch of forums at your disposal, so take your time reading other's experiences and see if they apply to you. It doesn't have to be perfect, though, so don't think there's a cookie-cutter around figure that you'll magically fit into. Good luck on your journey! We're all here for you!

This is me when I see a text asking me out Still the same face, still the same hearts just yikes

Welcome! It's nice to know that you don't have to want a relationship, right?

We had this group circle in my high school and we were talking about LGBTQ+ and there was this sheet we had to fill out with bars of sexual and romantic attraction, like a slider, cuz it's a spectrum. Anyway, I still wasn't sure about anything yet so I said 100% female and left everything else blank. And that's probably the most aroace thing I've done