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About nisse

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    genderqueer man
  • Pronouns
    any except she/her
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  1. YES absolutely. and I feel you on the man thing - i'm not out gender-wise in my day to day life. i also have a hard time parsing what's flirting and what's just friendly talking, so sometimes i'll think someone is flirting and i figure i should shut that down soon-as, but then i have a little goblin in my head go "oh don't you think highly of yourself, thinking they're all flirting with you, as if" it's almost worse when i see allo friends having no issue keeping that platonic friend relationship with people of genders they are attracted to/that are attracted to their gender. it becomes this intense self examination and i get stuck in my own head, over-analyzing everything i say. love that circle 🙃
  2. absolutely :) and if i may, you should look into queerplatonic relationships and see if that vibes with you! it might not, and that's ofc totally okay.
  3. i've been thinking about the same thing! i'm no sure for myself, but i've a wee inkling i'm not as ace as previously thought, it's just that i hate being read as a woman. i was never that attached to my ace label anyway, i mostly use it to clarify that some aros do have sexual attraction, i am just not one of them. but maybe i am, actually, now that i'm more open to myself about my gender. which feels weird after ten plus years!! this was perhaps unhelpful haha sorry if so! but you're not the only one with these thoughts.
  4. Hi friends, I haven't been on here since almost a year ago but here i am again 👋

  5. thank you so much!! i think i'll go back to greyscale - defo less work. haha her cats are my favourites as well. my friend came up with the name Hughey Louie and the Sneeze and I had to incorporate it somehow! I've actually seen a couple of pubs with the Pet Friendly sign - not many though, and I'm unsure about laws and rules? but i think as long as they don't have access to areas where food is prepped, legally it's fine and it's up to the premises! i DON'T think people usually bring their cats, just dogs, but this is ~vague unnamed comic strip city~ so they do there ^^ awww thank you so much!! i'm still insecure about both pacing and punchlines/endings, so this is so good to hear! i don't atm - i really should work on that buffer, but i get so excited when I finish something I just want to post it immediately. i am currently working on a new one which will probably be finished today or tomorrow? but yeah for now, checking in randomly is fine! my plan is to eventually go weekly or twice a week thank you again for your kind words!!
  6. Whelp folks, I took the leap. There's only one out so far, and I'm partly using it as a way to get better at both drawing and comic-making. I'm kinda unfamiliar with Tapas, so I think it got too compressed. https://tapas.io/series/CupidsAro check it out if ye want to, feel no obligation to keep up with it 🙂 i'm currently working on a buffer!
  7. conflating aroness and aceness is infuriating and just plain wrong, but i think the idea is the sharing an experience of not having an attraction many people deem inherently human. i wish alloaces wouldn't do this thing, because i genuinely believe there's sense in aspec as a community of aros, aces, and all the other folks in-between. the lack of an attraction is what we have in common, like. i gotta say, i don't understand HOW alloaces conflate us?? like... ye KNOW asexual =/= aromantic, that was a whole slogan at some point - not in as many words, but same sentiment. and especially the person OP is talking about, with the insistence even after you've told them? what's the cognitive dissonance here.
  8. yessss oh my god.... how can they not realise the difference between giving up a job because you've never been happy in it, and giving up a job FOR another person?? kinda similarly, i saw a show recently where one person said to their significant other "you've given up so much for me, it's time for me to sacrifice something for you" (i think it was about moving cities and giving up careers/moving away from family or smth?) and i was kinda baffled like damn, y'all sacrifice your dreams for each other in a kind of equal exchange system? no compromising or talking stuff out beforehand??
  9. you were talking about movie characters before though, not real people.
  10. i do very much hahaha, i have QUITE the long list of these kinda movies and books :') i did recently listen to P&P on audiobook though, and it's really good! Austen was such a good writer, it's amazing how her little pokes at and observation of a society from 200 years ago is still relatable and funny. I heartily recommend the film. Most folks who are fans of the book first prefer the BBC series, but as a former film student, the film is better. the BBC series is more faithful, to be sure, but the film is better at humanising people who lived in the 18th c, and it is incredibly well made. They've mashed up some characters, cut others, and switched the roles of some, but that's just the nature of adapting a story into a film. The show had more time, so they could be more faithful in the adaption (it's very good! i don't want to bash on it, because it's not bad at all. but i saw it once and was happy with that, while the film i can rewatch over and over). SERIOUSLY hahahaha figuring out some big stuff about myself ALWAYS makes me look back at younger me and go oooooooh i see.
  11. omg welcome!! i'm so glad you've figured yourself out a bit more, isn't it an amazing feeling? i'm not allosexual, but holy shit (almost) same hat! i never actually had crushes, but they were so the norm to chat about and everyone expected everyone else to have, or have had, a crush, i just made them up and assumed that's what everyone else did too. and i always picked a boy too, because yayy heteronormativitiy... Honestly, when i realised that most people DON'T actually just pick whoever is kinda nice and cool and declare them their crush, i found it incredibly funny. i rage about amatonormativitiy a lot, but to me this bit is just hilarious. i just made them up!! like wow @ self :'D BIG same!! I remember looking over my characters and realising oh.... these are all aro huh. not all of them are ace, but the aroness just shone through. i've actively tried making non-aro characters since, but the protags of my stories are almost always aro, or just disinterested in romance. some other things i realised! i LOVE romance stories. i don't read or watch a lot of them though, because i have very particular tastes. mostly romcoms are boring, but there are a couple i adore. Pride and Prejudice (2005) is among my top 3 films. Four Weddings and a Funeral is high up there, but i find Hugh Grant's character and love plotline incredibly boring lol. i think like you, i value a deep connection and platonic relationship more than the pure romance stuff of it. Pride and Prejudice I adore because 1) it's just a marvel of a film, from a craft standpoint, and 2) no insta love!! (and 3) that HAND TOUCHING SCENE). the idea of romance really appeals to me, but i'm very happy for it to remain an idea. kinda like folks who love horror but obviously would never want a horror story to happen irl* a tiny gremlin in my head doesn't believe in romantic attraction. like at all. a slightly more sensible gremlin, but still a gremlin, thinks a lot of the more dramatic points of romantic love is vastly exaggerated, and people half fake, half believe it because it's so entrenched in culture. i try not to say this out loud in allo spaces because it's a little too close to invalidation for my tastes - i don't know people's inner lives anymore than they know mine. but there's still a gremlin there and honestly i kinda wish i could have philosophical convos about this with my allo friends, without them potentially becoming upset and defensive (and like, i wouldn't blame them for it if they did) (THIS READS MORE SAD THAN I MEANT IT TO LMAO). i love being by myself! not like all the time, but living alone, having my own time, not sharing my whole life with someone. for a bit i tried really hard to find a QPR, before i realised i was using it as a replacement for a romantic relationship, and i would be about as happy in a QPR as in a romantic one (which is, not at all). and being at peace and happy with being by myself for the foreseeable future is so nice! *(not to compare romantic attraction to horror, oh dear)
  12. @Oatpunk there are two wolves inside of me.... they're both grown men and they're yelling
  13. @Jot-Aro Kujo and this is why the "asexuals aren't broken, we feel/fall in love" line chafes SO MUCH. it may not be in use anymore, i honestly don't know, but it definitely was when i figured myself out around 2011/2012/2013 (i am extremely bad at remembering years and what happened when, but i was ~15 when i started having inklings), and that isn't that long ago. i really wish there was a bigger push for aromantic awareness within the ace community, considering how big it is and the reach it has now, with AVEN and all. we really do need the reach and influence they have, if we want to be visible to kids (and adults!) in the situation you were in.
  14. Yes, I mean who amongst us hasn't heard - in real life or in media - "how do you know when you're in love?" -> "you just know!" like gee thanks! very cool & unhelpful! i wouldn't be surprised if there are quite a few aromantic people just waiting to fall in love, bc they'll know (realising falling in love and romantic attraction isn't necessarily mutually inclusive, but it illustrates this a bit i think). i've a feeling, too, that it is in a way easier for aces to figure out if we're aro as well or not. hence, i think, the over-representation of aroaces within aro communities @Mark mentions. i wouldn't be surprised if it's substantially harder to nail your aroness when you're allo-sexual, and maybe even feel even more "broken" (HEAVY quotation marks) than us aroaces. just because i think when you've figured out aceness, you've kind of passed that hurdle - not to say we don't have that internal struggle as well, i know i had a MUCH harder time accepting my aroness than my aceness, which is partly why i identify so much more with that part of me now, it took so much energy from me. but i hope my thought process here makes sense? i don't want to speak over aro-allos here, and no experience is uniform, but i wouldn't be surprised if this was the case for many.
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