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Ch0c0

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Everything posted by Ch0c0

  1. Hello. I wish you the best of luck because it really is not a good situation. I was once informed about sexual harrassment from one colleague to another one and had an insight about the legal discussion within HR/direction. We went through these person's text history and that was a difficult moment for us all. The person harrassed was partially discredited because she used to be friendly with her offender and blocked/ignored him before saying NO WAY and making everything cristal clear. All that I can advise is: - you write to him clearly that you don't love him and document this (proof). - you write to him that you want him to stop contacting you, (not necessarily because you don't like him as a friend but) because you take it as harassment. You also document this (proof). - if necessary you write to him that you will ignore further replies and that this blocking means NO WAY THANKS. - you make sure that he can still contact you for professional matters but tell him that any other topics will be reported to the management. - even as it is you can already report the person to the management. Maybe check your company policy about it. Reporting is simply mandatory in some american corporations because people being unconfortable at work is bad (for you and for the business).
  2. I have never tried anything significant because it just does not interest me. Most of the time I don't even think about it and life goes on. I did (french) kiss and was not impressed. I did dating 'screening' a few times (you know, the get to know each others and check if it is worth dating) and I always felt cold, uninterested and awkward. I invited a guy home once: I felt pathetic for being naive because I did not even consider that he could overthink our dinner (=> another awkward rejection). I have never firmly ruled out sex but the fact that I am very particular about it and don't want romantic drama makes it very unlikely. When I was younger I was more influenced by what other people told me. I was also feeling a bit upset that I could not live the same as everybody else. But I always wanted to stay true to myself, and my guts told me not to date. Now I realized more clearly that I wanted different things in my life. I had great platonic friendships before and this is the only thing that I painfully miss right now.
  3. My friend were not surprised. But from the ones who cared about me the most I did feel some pityful looks like 'something is not right with you I knew it' or 'you should at least try or get counseling'. With my parents, the battle is still ongoing: my mother can't help being unvalidating, even if she loves me and tries hard to respect me.
  4. Don't be so perfectionist with relationships. Amatonormativity is not for you anyways. You don't have to buy the full package 'love, romance, sex, marriage, children' to be valid. Just take what you can: if it is ok for your significant other then it's already worth it.
  5. Thank you for the explanations. The email address in user profile should be protected imho. Knowing the email you can easily find back the person with social network search engines. Saying that we can just provide a junk email is easier said than done if you wish to use the email notifications. I know that it is possible but not everyone is good with IT. But I'm here nonetheless because the priority is having a forum that works and I'm thankful for this.
  6. Like Coyote suggested I would use "sensual attraction". I personally found that the separation between the different types of attraction was helpful for self-analysis.
  7. I'm an agnostic, formerly catholic. I did not feel like my equal status as woman or my (gray)sexuality was ever aknowledged by the catholic religion. I felt like the catholic community was expecting me to get married one day or to become a nun. At some point, knowing 1 or 2 progressist priests that made sense was no longer enough to justify my faith towards this whole institution. I decided to keep some teachings in my personal values but I don't belong there anymore. I'm loosely interested in paganism (incuding Norse Gods since I watched Vikings ;-)) as I believe that some of their gods had ironically more modern views than our current catholic pope.
  8. I don't really feel like the healthiest person mentally speaking but I'm apparentlly not mentally ill. Doctors have never diagnosed me with anything...to be confirmed. When I was a child our family doctor said that I was fine and not depressive thought I used to be really negative about life. I used many personal coping mechanisms (cynism, lack of trust, lack of ambition, addictions, delusions) so I never got into spectacular trouble. I was always reasonable, introvert and - most importantly - good at school so my parent would never have sent me to a psychiatrist. When I peaked in my 20s and early 30s I was genuinely happy but still very much aromantic. Now I have some anxiety issues but again a counselor told me that I'm fine, I just need to rest (for how long?) and no drugs can help me. Nobody else is looking after me so I'm going to double check this with a specialist...
  9. Hi Grey, nice to meet them. Welcome to the forum.
  10. When acccessing the site it says that the connexion is not secure/not suporting encryption. I'm not a IT expert so I don't know what difference it makes. I'm raising this as we could be discussing heavy stuff here. Could it be improved?
  11. I'm a 30+ who had a late realisation last year after I got into interested into youtube again. There is still limited visibility in the mainstream media targetting middle aged folks. It's nice to see that the new generations are catching up on this faster.
  12. Hello LemonCupcakes. What matters is that you are valid now. It's even better if you have some people aknowledging it irl.
  13. I'm generally indifferent to romantic subplots. Sometimes I simply don't notice them. I can root for some couples when I think that there is something else beautiful in their relationship (honesty, commitment, support,...). But overall I usually avoid movies and series that are flagged as romantic. I have a 'romantic quota': if I exceed it by watching too many romcoms I will find every single display of affection unpleasant.
  14. I can't really say no to chocolates. I am literally going to the chocolatier after Valentine's Day to get some leftovers on sale. Another addictive party snack could be tortilla chips/nachos. Anyways it does not have to be linked to food but it is better if it is something that we can share or play with. Books are good as well. I will also buy any icecream specially if there are chocolate chips inside. But it may reinfroce the 'cold' emotionless image like the robot.
  15. Hello and Welcome! I hope that you will be able to meet people with similar experiences here. I can very much relate, except for the friends with benefits and the children but this is about personal preferences.
  16. When I was a child I never played mom and dad. I didn't like to play house with a baby except when feeding it (because I liked eating myself so I could relate). I enjoyed my Legos and plushies instead. As a teen I was disgusted with soaps in tv because they were discussing love all the time. I still find there very boring.
  17. With time I guess? It got much easier to figure out as time passed. When I left home I experienced living with friends then living alone. I understood (by looking at the others around me) that I did not envy those in a close relationship moving together as society wanted. I can appreciate displays of affection and confort (hugs), sensuality (massages) but it does not go to the sexual or romantic levels. The border between sensuality and sexuality/romance is a bit different for everyone. What did you feel during the romantic stuff? Did you feel validated? Happy to be next to your partner? Hopeful for the future of the relationship?
  18. I would answer likely not for both questions. I don't want to marry somebody lightly as I am quite independant by nature. Children can be great but it is quite difficult to raise a child alone. I would not mind raising my partner's child, with him.
  19. Thank you for the welcome. Kawaï ne? It is from this generator: https://charat.me/nyanko/create/0
  20. I used to be a hardcore pro-monogamy but I no longer value it as such. After discovering aromanticism and other alternative relationships structures I changed my mind. However I am still afraid of the difficulties in relationships. I guess that they are at least double in polygamic relationships. The more people involved, the more complex the balance. I am curious to see testimonies of people who have tried it.
  21. I am living solo now. Earlier I enjoyed living in a shared accomodation (own bedroom). I may do it again with the right people and with enough space to store my belongings.
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