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About Ch0c0

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  1. I'd rather go bungee jumping than get married.
  2. Only child. Impossible to say whether I had a family member LGBT+ because one did not admit things like that. There was although one that we suspected to be very sex averse and another without much romantic interest.
  3. 1. Having some psychotherapy ongoing on topics that could explain or reinforce aroness. At one point I had to decide that, symptomatic or not, it has been a part of me since my teens so I could identify with it. 2. Not feeling invested in aro community advocacy, while I'm honestly more active in the asexual community even though it is not my primary orientation. 3. Not being fully romance adverse in art or litterature.
  4. Hello. Don't take the criticism and drama to heart. You care about the situation so you are likely a good person. But you are the way you are, full stop. If you don't like your situation you could try getting some help but from a professional. I don't think that it is that unusual to loose interest when you realize that a case is closed. It helps to turn the page. Some people are quicker than others doing so. Some other people need another romance to forget the first one, one month or one day later (those last can also be the target of sarcasms). I don't have romantic attraction but my other attractions are also strongly influenced by some key parameters. The first parameter is mutual respect and the next is dialogue. If I can't get some kind of reciprocity I get hurt and that shock simply cuts the line. My therapist told me that I have issues with 'rejection' and tbh it explains a lot of things about me. But it rather means that I'm oversensitive and certainly not heartless.
  5. I think that sadly alloro people don't always worry that much about reciprocating exactly their partner's feelings. If you care about that, you probably qualify for a try in a relationship. Now it depends the most on your partner. It's better to be honnest with them from the start. Some may want to have exact reciprocation or feel unloved. Some may like somebody who complements them and offer their own kind of love.
  6. What I would perceive as fair as aromantic would be more along the lines of 'always have your back' or 'fight alongside you'. For me, aromanticism manifests with independance and not missing people all the time (no annoying texts lol). Most people could interpret it as not caring.
  7. I'm in a similar situation. There aren't only negative aspects about it. You are not 'jaded' by relationships/friendships and so you can cherish each one and invest yourself in it. It makes you a valuable friend/partner on the long term. And you have time to enjoy them to the fullest.
  8. Hello and welcome to Arocalypse Here is something chill. It's true that here we don't always post back quicker than light... but that doesn't mean that the answers aren't food for thoughts.
  9. Being a French speaking native I pronounce it the French way too.This may be an English forum but it looks so French that I can't help my accent. aromanticism = aromantisme (FR) aromantic = aromantique (FR) apocalypse = apocalypse (FR)
  10. Welcome to Arocalypse 💚 You could be aromantic now or somewhere on a less romantic spectrum. You can only tell if you check your feelings today and your past squishes. A useful way I found was questionning how and why the attraction began. Social or intellectual admiration (charismatic or successful people) and lonelyness (stuck with someone/interest) may play a major role in squishes. I mistook these for romantic attraction more than once...
  11. Ch0c0

    I don’t feel proud

    I don't know whether we really need to be proud of it. That's a bit too patronizing for some of us imho. Pride is militant speach. Like any battle, militantism is for the people who can spend some energy on others. Some of us still have to deal with some interior struggles and just focus on them. From my experience troubles occur when we are not aware, in denial or -worse- adverse to our orientation/identity. I'm trying to start slow by accepting it. Like they say in meditation 'contemplate without judgement'. Then look at what I want myself (start fresh) and look at the pros of my orientation. The goal is to try to be neutral about that weird part of me. Maybe loving it one day. When the first steps are done, then go confront the world. I've felt bad for years because I went into the world unaware, feeling inept and not shielded by self-love.
  12. One thing about myself I like is that I became independent (intellectually and financially) even though I started as a shy overprotected child with a strong education.
  13. From a practical point of view a word to qualify those who do not desire a close relationship at all would be very helpful. I find microlabels useful but problems arise when these labels recycle words that already exist and have other meanings. IMHO the word platonic itself is a minefield. When looking at Merriam Webster there is an obvious confusion between the lack of romance and the lack of sex in the relationship. Before I discovered aromanticism in this forum I was confusing platonic love and asexual love, also in my own language. Most people do. This makes my conversations with 'uninformed' people irl very awkward.
  14. I'm 30+. I only learned about aromantism a few years ago so I did not really 'overthink' it until recently. Earlier I was not thinking enough about it. I forgot about romance before it even started to feel relevant for me. Aromantism was overall consistent with my feelings but I had some moments of doubt in the past. My (almost non-existant) sexuality and other types of attraction got me confused a few times. I gave up on amatonormativity a long time ago. I feel sufficiently isolated from the Collective now 🤖 to understand my own identity. I feel like I have enough evidence to comfortably call myself aromantic today.
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