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Ch0c0

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About Ch0c0

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    Member

Personal Information

  • Name
    Ch0c0
  • Orientation
    aromantic
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she
  • Location
    Europe

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  1. From a practical point of view a word to qualify those who do not desire a close relationship at all would be very helpful. I find microlabels useful but problems arise when these labels recycle words that already exist and have other meanings. IMHO the word platonic itself is a minefield. When looking at Merriam Webster there is an obvious confusion between the lack of romance and the lack of sex in the relationship. Before I discovered aromanticism in this forum I was confusing platonic love and asexual love, also in my own language. Most people do. This makes my conversations with 'uninformed' people irl very awkward.
  2. I'm 30+. I only learned about aromantism a few years ago so I did not really 'overthink' it until recently. Earlier I was not thinking enough about it. I forgot about romance before it even started to feel relevant for me. Aromantism was overall consistent with my feelings but I had some moments of doubt in the past. My (almost non-existant) sexuality and other types of attraction got me confused a few times. I gave up on amatonormativity a long time ago. I feel sufficiently isolated from the Collective now 🤖 to understand my own identity. I feel like I have enough evidence to comfortably call myself aromantic today.
  3. Hi and welcome Wildlife! I thought that I was in love in the past. I was probably just confusing romantic attraction with aesthetic attraction and intellectual fascination (for romance and for the other person's charisma). I never really wanted to stay with these crushes for long nor build a relationship. I may have felt posessive at times but I would not miss them when not seeing them. It felt quite cold, like a kid sulking, unable to catch a butterfly, then moving on to the next bug. While I actually feel dedicated and attached to my close friends, family and pets. So that did not seem romantic to me. I identify as aromantic but I could be wrong. You can always ditch your label if a label no longer fits your evolution.
  4. The author wrote some LGBT stories and a webcomic before. https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/heartstopper/list?title_no=329660&page=1 I haven't read it.
  5. I don't look for a partner but for more intimate friends. That is already too difficult to find. If I find somebody who wants a serious relationship and can respect my boundaries I may actually consider it. Yes I feel quite desperate.
  6. I get irritated in front of cliché characters. It would be good not stay into the clichés that nourished my internalized bi and arophobi. Bisexuals don't just click with anyone and aromantics are not superficial people only looking for one night stands. Amen to that. Sound like the story of my love life... This is a very pragmatic reason why I did not have lots of sex.
  7. Get along with people who are not talking only about romance. Go with people who share your other interests. Be clear with others about the things that trigger you. If you don't want to come out as aro, just say that you don't want to talk/be reminded about relationships right now. Even romantic people have the right not to seek romance at times.
  8. Same remark about discord servers! If you really want to get involved you can stay there (sometimes for long). In some you can even feel 'useful'. I no longer have time for this since I'm working from home. But I got involved in some local initiatives (going grocery shopping for disabled people, making masks, spreading awareness on social network, keeping in contact with the elderly, cheering for the doctors and nurses with my neighbours every day,...). In these volunteer networks we have some additionnal contacts face to face but mostly from far and on the social networks.
  9. Maybe you don't like other people being too obvious about romance and showcasing their relationship? I hate when people use romance as a social status booster. But when you are in the position yourself you would not be bothered by it because you feel that it is genuine.
  10. This is nice art but... I find the facial expression confusing with the hearts. But I thought about this: when discovering a text from a loved one: first feeling happy when seeing the sender (hearts) then surprise or being attentive. Her face althought seems quite scared <-- "Hi, I hope you wont mind but Mom said she would join us on our next lunch.") then feeling happy (hearts), hopefully...
  11. Ch0c0

    Hiya!

    Welcome Dark 🤗. You may find some relatable topics here.
  12. Of course I miss a lot of things because I'm myself. I have never been in a relationship because of how I saw it until now. Although for me it is on the same level as: I have crap reflexes so I'm not a good gamer. Never gossipping about romance, I was never like the cool kids. On the other side I feel blessed about some things. I practice easily different languages and it has open so many doors to me. While some people spent their energy dating I was studying and being dedicated during my career. It lead me abroad to experience other cultures while my old classmates where struggling with low incomes and divorce.
  13. My ideal career would be in sustainable development and would allow me to have more contact with both nature and people. About recycling and reuse, there are a lot of upcycling initiatives in my city, from furniture to clothes or electronic appliances. This is good because it reduces the overall carbon footprint, relocalises workforce and provides cheap products to people in need.
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