sajastar

Hi! I'm super excited to be here! I found out the forum exists because it was listed on the aro census and I had to come check it out! A bit about myself: Tbh the usual way I ID myself is just queer, because anything else turns into a whole conversation. I am on the aro spectrum, and that's about as specific a label as I can give. I'm not sure whether I want a romantic relationship or qpr because I'm not really sure what counts as romantic? Even if what I feel *is* romantic, it's something that occurs so rarely that I would still call myself grayro. I tend to be interested in women and enbies more, so I sometimes ID as gay depending on the context. (Although I'm agender too so it's not precisely accurate on any level.) I'm definitely ace. I studied linguistics in university, with a focus on sign languages, and after that I did Peace Corps. Got evacuated from that right at the end of my service because of covid so now I'm in the US teaching English online until normal life starts up again. My hobbies are: Learning about languages, talking about languages, generally nerding out about languages. Lurking on tumblr. Writing queerplatonic Venom fanfic on ao3 (I'm sajastar there too). Favorite TV show: Elementary. It's not a perfect show but the characters are so aro and their relationship is basically a qpr even if they don't label it that way and it makes me very very happy. Favorite movie: It's different every few months probably but atm it's Knives Out. I do love mysteries. Favorite book: Maybe The Truth by Terry Pratchett? It is a toss-up between several of his books really. Also I'm ADHD and I love to chat about ADHDer life! (You may have heard of "triple A": agender, aromantic, asexual--I'm quadruple A ).

You mentioned you're worried about your ability to communicate, but it seems to me that you've expressed yourself pretty well here. This may sound a bit trite, but maybe you could write her a letter? I know people sometimes make a big deal about discussing these things in person, but if you just told her "There's something important I want to talk to you about, but I'm nervous that I'll have a hard time expressing myself or forget everything I want to say, so I wrote it down," to me that would seem really thoughtful. Decide if you want her to read it then or read it in private, or give her the option, depending on what you're comfortable with. Then you can have an in-person conversation following that. Otherwise, I agree you should just talk to her about it. It'll be better to know than not know, even if it's scary. You say you're worried about stepping over a line or being insensitive, but nothing about what you've said here sounds that way to me. You sound like you really care deeply about her and have a lot of respect for her. Good luck!