nonmerci

Michael in the bathroom from the musical Be More Chill. Not a happy song, but Michael is left alone at a party by his best friend Jeremy, because Jeremy prefers spending time with his new girlfriend than with him. I think aros can relate to be abandonned because of romance.

I meant saying in the end what is the label of the character, not that the character is questioning (which can be clear without having to be said if done well). Usually with a questioning character it ends up with the character saying "I am X" or "I am not X". Except when the show is cancelled but I won't blame the show then, it is not it's faut if it didn"t get the chance to end an arc properly. Author can change their mind too, if it is logical I don't see any problem in that.

Usually questioning lead to the people identifying with the label. I never saw a character that is questioning and ended up hetero (it could be interesting of course, if it is to show the complexity of attraction, but in term of representation that would upset everybody so this is not likely to happen). Every character don't have to be sure and how they discover themselves is interesting. For me there is a huge difference between a character that is questioning himself, and a character whom orientation is left to interpretation, si ambiguity. For the first, the author knows what he is doing and will say it at some point. For ambiguity, we will never know the truth.

That can happen. Sometimes relationships end not because the person did something bad, but because for some reason the love ends and it is no one faults, no need to feel guilty for that. (well, I imagine, I don't really have an experience of that)

Any emotion you have is a complex cocktail of brain chemicals. Joy, sadness, fear... You experience things and brain give a chemical response that leads to these feelings. And I suppose we can talk about evolution here too. Surely, someone who would response to danger by a feeling of joy was likely to be eaten, contrary to someone who fears it. I'm pretty sure even the kind of like of meal we like is link to evolution (a guy who likes the taste of poison had a more risky life than a guy who would throw up immediately because he could not bare it). Even apparences : like giraffs who have long necks because they could eat higher leafs and go stronger. But no one you say their high necks are not real. That just how brain works in fact. It doesn't mean the emotion are not real for me. This is just the way they are created. It would be pretty depressing to think everything we feel is fake.

Not really sure why you ask on an aromantic website but... ifyou want my opinion, don't answer marriage. If this person is that selfish and you are the only one who give things, this is not sane at all.

Break-up songs are good though. In fact this is how I like live songs the most, and I'm sûre it is a sign of my aromanticism : I can relate to the sadness or anger in it, more than the usual love stuff. But yeah that's annoying how people equal strong emotion with love. My favorite kind of songs are think like Defying Gravity from Wicked, full of empowerment! More inspirational than a love song.

I started to watch the show Miraculous. The show in itself is very romantic, but Plagg is such an aro mood sometimes. In season 1 episode 10 (at minute 6:00), he says he doesn't understand how Adrien can be in love with Lady Bug even if he doesn't know who she is, and when Adrien answers that he doesn't understand love, Plagg says he does because he loves camembert or something like that. I've just seen this episode and think about your video, maybe it can work.

Not really. Probably because I never tried to be in couple or whatever. But I admit that if I found out earlier, it would have prevent me to lose time watching pictures of people, or exciting scenes in movies, trying to feel attraction (though it was more an asexual thing here). I also would have spent less time wondering what is my orientation... though I'm not sure I would have accept it so easily when I was younger. Something strange : as other people here I remember that I have seen the word aromantic and even more asexual before, but it never come to my mind as something that applied to me. Maybe I confused asexual with "not having sex", but most of all the only times I see the word was in people jokes about friendship between boy and girl (responding too people who say it doesn't exist because attraction, that asexual can be friend with everyone). That was probably not serious enough for my mind to understand. For aromantic this is worse : I saw it used in a way that made me think aromantic = psychopath... Not something I would identify with.

For the moment I play xenoblabe chronicles definitive edition and octopath traveler. I love fire emblem games, in particular three houses. I also enjoy the sims 4. And I'm waiting for bravely default II. EDIT : I forgot also Professor Layton.

Be free to give advices, in particular when they are good! Moderators are just users who wan take action when something problematic is going on, but we are normal people. We too have struggle and need advice. And this advice is a good tool, never thought about it.

I tried to find one but I only got websites giving advices to parents when their kids have their first crush. Not very helpful for this case. OK I get it now. So it is 45% of people who never had a crush after 14, who developped a crush after 14. Thanks! Maybe it's just a way of formulate things. If someone says "you can identify now but remember that orientation is fluid", what people hear is "you can say it but not too much because it will probably change later". Maybe if it was phrased more this way : "some people have their first crush later in their teen years, but what you say here is sounds like an aro experience so you can totally use that label", it would be more focused on the "yes you are valid" and so a better answer? I don't know.

Show them statistics of divorces. Joke aside, I'm pretty sure that a friendship is actually more stable than a romantic one. I don't know a lot of stories when friendship ends badly, usually it is more people who can't find the time to see each other or things like that. And that won't be the case for two friends who adopt together. Of course a child will change the friendship dynamic, but so is for romance, and I think they are equal for that. I don't have a lot of these things but I must naturally avoid these conversations... or don't have a lot of friends. And the one I am the closer too don't want to hear about marriage before she get a job (before she said "before I finished my studies" but now they are finished, it doesn't work anymore). What can annoying me is how everytime people get close, allo ship them and think they can share that intimacy without being in love. But usually I see that on the Internet, not with my friends. Oh I almost forgot, there is this time when one of my best friend forgot I was aro and seemed very disappointed when I reminded her. I don't remember what she said, and after I said qi was aro she said nothing, but I remember the disappointment on her face, that hurts.

I don't get it. How does 27% of people who has a crush avec 14, give you 45% of people who have a crush after 14? Here's the number I have after removing the "never had a crush" answer and calculate a new percentage : Before 8 : 18,9% 9-10 years : 14,7% 11-12 : 17,9% 13-14 : 21,05 15-20 : 20,95% After 20 : 7,4% So here there is no 45% of people who had a crush after 14. Only 20%, and 5% here, and excluding the one who never had a crush, it gives 27% of people. Then it depends if we see things half-empty or half-full. Tout see 27% of people who had a crush after 14, I see 73% of people who have their crush before. That would make 3 people on 10 who have their first crush after 14, that is not that much. I'm not saying it is not likely to change of course, in particular as 40% tends to have their first crush in their teen years (I regret a bit that in this poll, 15 to 20 are put together, 15 and 18 are not the same at all). But we still won't give that sort of response to a gay or a straight person and I don't know what to think about the fact we always do it for aro or ace people. I never really though about it before, but now I think it is somehow link to the idea that romantic feeling and sexuality is supposed to miraculously awaken at some point in our life and that if it hasn't, we are just not mature enough yet. Yeah you are right. The poll don't let us know if people who respond are gray or not but there must have been in it.

That's a very interesting point. I never thought of this as being invalidating. But as I like to say, it is true that we would never say to a straight person "you may be bi, and just haven't find the person of the right person of the same sex yet". Though it is the same thing as aro : defidefine by the absence of attraction (to the same sex). And some people do discover lately than they are bi and not straight. So in this logic, no one should identify as straight without keeping in mind it could change. Young people who ask are probably looking for validation, and this type of response fail to give one. I never thought about it, thanks for that! Sure but if you look, more than a half had their first crush before 12, and around 3/4 before 14. So it may be plenty of allo who had their first crush after 14, but most of all there is a large majority who have their first crush before 14, and mote than an half before 12. And according to this poll, there are still some people who has their first crush after 20. But I don't feel dishonest when I say I am 100% sure I am aro. Not even 99% but 100%.

Not allo neither. I don't think this is true that the parents necessarily prefer the new children, though the old children can feel that way and that they have been replaced (in particularly if they change home from their dad to their mom and so have less time with them than the new children). But when this happen, I suppose it would be because the old children can remind them of their exs, or that they want to focus on their new family. About the desire of having children connected to romantic attraction, I think there is different reasons : -they may think only a nuclear family is healthy. A few months/years ago in my country there were debates about medically-assisted procreation for lesbian couples and single women, and one of the arguments people give about that was "how would you dare creating children without father, think about how miserable they will be, they can't grow like that". Same when in 2012 people manifested against same sex marriage with shirts that said "a dad and a mum". Conservative just think there is only one type of family that is right, a straight couple with children. -Allos tend to live with their romantic love, so they will raise the children together. And so, they'll see their romantic love as a future parent too. -they may want that the father/mother of their child is someone special, someone they connect with. And for allos, the strongest connection they can get is romantic love. -for biological children, they like the idea that there is a bit of their romantic partner in them, or a little bit of both of them. -children are seen as the proof of their love. Maybe a proof of engagement as well. The couple is solid enough to have a child.

I think it is difficult to write a song about a strong bound that isn't romance because allo will romanticize them anyway. For instance the other day, on the youtube section of the song "Unsaid Emily" from Julie and the Phantoms, I saw someone say "I wish my boyfriend would sing this to me". Which is weird because in the show, the guy sings this to his mother. How can she saw romantically something a guy wrote about his own mother? I'm not saying that it can be interpretated as being about romance (in a show, a character thought it was), but this girl watched the show so she knows what it was about. She still romanticized it. Seing a song about feelings, people automatically think it is romance. So artists are kinda stuck because even if they write about something else, allo will see it as romance. Now, why they don't get tired, I don't know. I get that romance songs are still be made, but I don't get why it is one of the only thing people write about? This is either that or "confidence" song. There is so much things people can talk about, other type of relationships or else.

Oh and I forgot : For good, from the musical Wicked.

In France we have the song "Ta meilleure amie" ("Your best friend"), which kinda iconic even if the song and the singer are seen as for "little girls". Same for "True friend" from Hannah Montana. But they are still about friendship. If I ever think about something else I'll com back.

You seem to have a great idea, nothing about that sounds hurtful to me. Don't know if it will work with your story, but I think one thing that is exclusive to aroace is thinking that we are bi or pan because of equally lack of attracted in all genders make us think we are equally attracted to them both, instead of unattracted. On the other hand, some aroaces know very young they are not into relationship at all. It depends. But it sounds different than what I heard from allo aros, who can confuse their sexual attraction with romantic attraction. Something you can think about too is his relation to his identity. Some aroace care more about their aro identity, some more about their ace identity, some care about it equally. It depends on the person and probably on their experiences. Aroaces can also feel torn when there is conflit between the aro and the ace communities.

I was going to suggest that too. Aroflux can fluctuate from having ni crushes to having a grey or even an allo experience, during a certain space of time. It varies for each person.

Oops I got it wrong with my grammar. I should have used preterit. He is not following me now, it happened a few years before. I don't have any recent experience of people liking me, or I am not aware. But yeah he was kinda a stalker. If he met not only me but a member of my family in the street, he would change his entire way to stay with us until we come back home. And at some point he pretended we were dating though we were not. That was not very comfortable, but I don't see him any more, he doesn't live in my town anymore.

Ice cream like what eat the steoretypical rejected girl in tv show, yeah, I think I heard about it. Pizza I don't know. Maybe because that's someting we eat with friends?

Difficult situation. I can't really help. Confessions happened to me twice when I was a teen. For one it was a guy I don't even ike as a friend but who still follows me everywhere and thretened to commit suicide when I rejected him... I don't need to say I talked to him after that, I told the suicde threat to is mother and let her handle it. The other, the guy confessed when he was 12 or 13, and we became friends only the year later (before I hated him lol). I kinda knew he cold still be interesting but didn't bother. Our whole class shipping us was more bothering than his actual feelings, but I didn't panic. It was just annoying. Maybe, I would have reacted differently if I knew I was aro at the time, I don't know. I just focused on my friendship and didn't bother. I guess, I just expected that he gets "no is no", and won't act romantically with me. So I don't really have an advice, expect maybe try to talk with them again and see how it goes? They'll probably move on anyway. If their friendship is important to you, it could worth it. Talk and see nothing bad or romantic happen could work. But if you are still uncomfortable after that, I don't know. That's not an easy situation. I hope it'll get better.

Yes of course! What aros have in common is the lack of romantic attraction. But then, all aros are different. Some are repulsed by romance, some are not, some would even enjoy being in a romantic relationship. It all depends on the person. Personally I don't want romance for myself, but I can enjoy it in fiction, depending on how it's written.