nonmerci

Does Ready or not count? A woman get married and bam! everybody wants to kill her in a murderous hide and seek game. Here's the trailer : And to quote the end of the movie : https://i.pinimg.com/originals/db/fe/e8/dbfee8d0c6bde34ee7fe3908fceb26bf.jpg Marriage is dangerous.

I discovered when I was 23. (can't believe it's been three years already!)

Same here (except Black and Caucasian). My brother have a dark skin however. So I like to say, as he is older, that he is a selfish guy who took all the color and left nothing for me.

I'm aroace and since I'm a kid I said I wanted 3 kids. Now only one would be good already. I thought about sperm donation too but this being legal for single woman is only in discussion in my country (they debate to make it legal for lesbian couple and the debates were extended to single women). I don't really want to justify myself all the time, my family is not really open about that (create a child without a father, etc). Don't want to fight them. However I think I may adopt someday.

I like to think even if I don't experience it, I kinda understand it, as a concept, if you see what I mean. I want to write books and there is some romance in it, so a better understanding would be useful for me. Just so the last time I describe a kiss I don't have to Google it to know what it's supposed to feel like and why people like it, you see? (Yeah, that actually happened).

Can't really help because my parents are the only one I am scared to come out. I thought about something like this, by an explicit aro shirt and wear it on Valentine's day. Maybe the best is to "prepare the field" as we say in French, by saying things that implied you will lever get married before coming out officially.

Tired

I may adopt someday too. Sadly I think it is harder for a single woman (at least I'm not a single man, I'm pretty sure it is even harder).

I'm not sure it was cut earlier but the ending was kinda open and maybe not that satisfying (in general the first 3 seasons are good, season 4 and 5 are less good), so a lot of fans expected a season 6 to fix this. I'm not surprised about the romance part : the amount of youtube videos about Merlin and Arthur being a couple (though they aren't in the show)... a lot of people ship them. And in general, I think people love romance in their fanfictions. There is a bit of romance in the show of course, but not for the main character. Yeah that's what bother me. This is a vey dangerous thought that leads to harrassment, or worse.

In fact, isn"t there just a problem with the current orientation system? What I get from this discussion is that people are trying to push non-binary people into a system that is meant to be binary. (chich is what you was saying @cyancat if I understood). The current system was made, at first about sex rather gender I guess, and then for only two : man or woman. It's lik, one divided the world between people who like black chocolate, people who like white chocolat, people who like both or any... and suddenly people decided to include the existence of milky chocolate and they don't know how because there is no place for people who like it in the categories. (hum, I'm not sure of this comparison, just remember that my point is it can't work) The only solution would probably to change the categories, but to create what? And with what criteria? In particular as the problem is that we can only assumed someone gender, we never know for sure except if the person tell us. Maybe, by defining it by gender expression rather than gender identity? Just a suggestion. I'm aroace and cisgender so I should probably not talk about all this stuff, sorry. I'm just trying to understand better all of this.

I like to recommand the British show Merlin about that. Of course the fandom romanticize it, but Merlin and Arthur never dated in the show but they have a very funny friendship and a strong bound, always there for each other. (though they have the love/hate relationship and began by disliking each other before learning to know themselves better, I think that's part of the reason the fandom like to ship them) Also Merlin never dated or show interest for that so he is totally aro for me. (and I think this is the only show I can think about where the main character has zero love interest... he just wants to protect his friends and Camelot, no need for romance) Aso I think this is totally true that most of the romance begins like that. They don't like each other (sometimes hate each other), they spend time together and immediately they start having feeling for each other. As if it was that easy to make someone change their mind. I think it add a lot to the "no isn't no" idea. Either this trope, or immediately the two person involved things the other is "the one" (but it will still take an eternity for them to be together because otherwise, it would end too soon).

I thought about having kids (I wanted three, two girls and a boy), but funny enough, I never thought about marriage (and even less about the husband... except maybe to think about genetics, like "he should have blue eyes and red hair because I like blue eyes end red hair so it will be nice if my chilldren get a chance to have them too"). Later I sometimes thought about the dress, the cake and the meal for the wedding, but that's it. And that's because the dresses are cool and I love to eat, not because I actually wanted a husband (which was completely absent).

I'll never say this enough, but even if Will ends up not being aromantic, he will forever be an aromantic icon. (But he better be aromantic because I'm not sure I could recover if he isn't)

Don't know if I said it before but Cinderella from the musical/movie Into the Woods. She doesn't seem to love the Prince, but the castle's life. In the song A very nice prince, she is just your fellow aromantic trying to talk about an amazing festival, but is constantly annoyed by her allo friend who wants to talk about the Prince instead.

Thanks for clarifying. I understand better now.

@Finn I may say stupid things because I don't understand a lot of things about attraction and gender, but isn't what you describe true for any gender? We can't know a person's gender for sûre except if we ask. We can think someone is a woman but they are non-binary, or even think he other way around, why not. And also, if we say that a person who felt attraction for people who happened to be women and non-binary, isn't it denying the non-binary identity to say that such a person is only attracted to women and non-binary people (even if the non-binary person are woman aligned as you said)? Just asking, I don't understand a lot about all of these questions and I am very confused right now.

That's like the serie You (inspired by a book; a weird mix of romance and thriller). In the show, we follow Joe who is a complete psychopath and do everyting in the name of love. In this cas, I didn't find it boring (at least the first season), because we really enter his logic which is completely deranged and it's kinda fascinating how they managed to do that : making you enter the characterr's logic and at the same time dismissing it. Though we follow him, the show clearly portray him as a psycho. He does awful things in the name of "love", and by awful things I mean it begins with stalking and end with murder. It shows how someone who can seem perfectly normal and as the ideal boyfriend can in fact be crazy. BUT there are people who will tell you that Joe is the good guy! That the girl doesn't appreciate him enough and all the things he does, and that he is so romantic. And yes, for their defense we could say that the show plays with the lines (Joe never kill a likeable character and is sweet with his neighboor), but at the end of the day, the guy lies, manipulates, stalks, kidnaps, and kills people. (major spoiler) How is that romantic? People can be really blind when it comes to romance.

True! I kinda enjoyed the movie but the reason why she stays with him in the end is mysterious to me. I get why the guy wakes her up (even without the romance part, being alone with no hope, one could become crazy), but : -it was very selfish for him and he has to face no bad consequences for that -no matter the reason I would never forgive the person who do that -he ruined her whole life! She was promised to do interesting things and instead she'll be stuck in a vessel her entre life with just that guy -she choses to stay with him, she could have gone back... are you telling me that saying with the guy who stays her life is more interesting that wakes up in the future (or I don't really remember what they were doing, but it seems more interesting)? The trope "love is more important than anything else" is annoying but with a guy that lies the whole movie and ruins her ambitions and life, that's even worse -it is treated as a happy ending! Never really thought about it before but that's very unhealthy.

I don't like romance when it is abusive or treated as "all the rest doesn't matter now". And also things like "romance requires sacrifices", in particular if the sacrifices are one-sided. One of the things I hate the most : when one of the character says clearly they are not interesting, but the other kept pushing until the first character realizes he is the one (I say "he" because usually, it is the man who flirt with the woman). This is harrassment, not love! But I like romance when the people involved grow together, when people have thing in common that justifies the relationship, and when it is useful to the plot (as a motivation for characters for instance). I also love one-sided romance. And the phase before people get together. Maybe because I am not interesting a lot to see people doing stuff they do when they are a couple.

True. Right now they start Christmas movies, which are mostly romance Christmas movies, and it's like watching the same movie in different places and different characters.

Yes I discover that today, it was international Single Day. Didn't know that it was from China. I like it, thought immediately about us.

I feel that for a lot of people, asexual still means ace AND aro, and so the only representation we get is for aro ace, when we have representation. Maybe because it is easier for people to represent it : no need to explain the attraction model, it matches people expectations. But it would be so cool to have an aro allo representation! A real representation, not just people we could headcanon as aro because fear of commitment end or one-night-stand. Not that I have anything about one-night-stand but when I see aro allos speak they are rarely engaged in such things, on the contrary they talk about the difficulty to find sexual relationships that matter for their partner without it being romantic.

What? How does liking a part of yourself is discrimination? Are we not allowed to have self-esteem our to love ourselves for what we are?

It's more secrets about life, history universe and things like that I think, than truth. I think the sirens capture you with the secrets you want the more to hear. At least that what I think. This and their singing is very good.

I love how I can focus on other things in life. Alloromantics seem to put to much effort in finding a partner, then keep their partner, having their relationship works... It seems like a lot of energy is give for that. But as I am aro, I can put this energy in other projects and I have more time for myself. I love to not go crazy about shipping and enjoy shows for their plot, not for the couples. I also like how I can look to romantic relationships in a more analytic and logical way.