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What would your ideal QPR be like?


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Just curious. For those of you who want a QPR, what would you want it to be like?

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The fact one can exist and be meaningful would be a great start, because as I have gotten older it's harder to make friends or anything. People naturally tend to drift apart over time too, but here're the top 3:

  • Trust (is a must)
  • Intimacy (to appropriate/agreed levels)
  • Communication (understanding and needs and barriers)

I would list "enjoyment of company" or somebody who's well humoured, but that's a must for virtually all of my relationships.

Edited by SkyTuneRein
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This is an interesting question, and one I have been pondering on and off for a little. The answer is I really don't know. Most of the things I would answer with are things I would answer for any close friend.

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For me, we'd be purely platonic, but there would be a lot of the more physical boundaries that mostly just romantic relationships have (having sex, casual touches, kisses on the lips, etc). We might go on one-on-one hangouts a bunch, although they would ideally be very unromantic-coded things. Definitely no flowers or long walks on the beach or anything, but maybe we could go to a roller coaster park or Pride parade or something?

Edit: I may have misread this. I wouldn't NEED ultimate trust, but it would be an important part, and I'd definitely want us to be able to talk to each other about anything. And I'd like us to at least care about each other a lot

Edited by AromanticAardvark
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  • 3 months later...

For me it would be kind of a “daily” friend. Someone to cohabitate with who I can talk to about my day over dinner. Who I can sit in the same room with as we work on separate tasks, just enjoying each others company. Who I can have kitchen dance parties with, and sing with, and watch movies with on a Friday night while cuddling. Someone who I can sometimes share a bed with (non-sexually) as a cuddle buddy, cause I sleep so much better when I have that. Someone to share the boring parts of life with. Someone who I know is always there for me at the end of the day. 

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I don't really feel like I need a qpr but I could see one forming naturally if I made a friend where we both felt the desire to make a long time commitment to each other. The commitment could look different depending on what we both wanted, it might involve cohabitation or just certain habits.

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Ooh, now this is interesting and something I've been thinking about for a while. I think my ideal QPR would definitely be platonic and probably exclusively us. I love the idea of caring about this one person and having them caring more about me specifically, almost like I just wanna to love and be loved yano. And I'd love to go on dates together, even sex would be fine if that was what they wanted (I'm bi, but could live without it). I think the only thing I wouldn't want is the actual romantic feelings and stuff like kissing. I'd even be up for getting married and stuff if that was what they wanted (but again, I'm indifferent). 

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That's a good question, it would be non-romantic and then, I guess sharing the day with them, going on dates, cuddling. The thought of having a special person and being a special person for someone is really nice.

I can do without sex but if they want to, I wouldn't have a problem with it, same goes for kissing I guess. Also, I can imagine moving in together and really living together, caring for some pets, maybe a garden...

With dates I mean spending time together (only the two of us), again, not romantically but just meaningful time spent together.

 

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For the love of god, I want nothing more than to drive around in a hippie van with a qpr partner or two. Just have various side hustles between us and live off of dumpster diving and rest stops. Go state to state hiking and partying and doing everything all at once.

(Obviously, trust and open communication and blah blah blah, but I can't even. Why can't I just hurry up and road trip with hot friends with benefits already?)

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Personally, I would love nothing more than moving into an apartment with my partner or partners and just going out and exploring the wild places nearby or checking out that really weird shop down the street, just doing random things together and having a place we can all go back to and call home. Doing weird and wacky things and participating in competitions for the fun of it, visiting cool places together and just messing around. We'd have each other's backs all the time.

I wouldn't like to participate in any sexual or romantic activities like sex and kissing. I'd still like to do things like hold their hand and give them hugs, maybe even go on dates but I wouldn't consider them dates. I'd just like to have someone there that I can count on and love.

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I wish I could have a QPR with someone who

1. I can hug and hold hands with

2. I can trust

3. has similar interests

4. (not a necessity but ) is aro spec or ace spec or both so we can talk about some relatable aro/ace moments and go to pride festivals together

 

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Pretty much like an lifelong, exclusive, best friend to share daily life with, possibly with some sensual parts. Might include romantic and sexual things but not for my sake, even though I can participate in it for someone else's sake (I think so, haven't tried it at all). They can't be sexually attracted to me though. 

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This is really looking into the future now, but I'd want my queer platonic partner to be someone who'd be willing to raise a family/co-parent with me! I really want to have kids someday, but I'm willing to settle for a couple of cats 😅

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someone that matches my personality (obviously)

trust

hugs and hand holding

live together and share responsibilities

get married for tax reasons

someone that i can do things with a best friend things with

basically a best friend that i live with and a bit more love

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hm, this is actually something I've thought about a bit recently! It's super fascinating to see replies that align with the ideas I had about it - commitment, intimacy without romance, and living together. I think I would want an exclusive partner who wouldn't go off and get married, either. Like a very committed friends with benefits, almost. Just... not toooo much hugging/touching, I am very much an introvert. 

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So, if I ever develop an alterous and/or somewhat romantic attachment to anyone else, I would basically want a very close friendship.... maybe live together, but if not, just be able to talk and message each other any time, preferably very frequently. Sort of a "best friend" status, but with the expressed commitment to each other that we intend to stay in touch frequently and support each other. Lots of vulnerability and emotional intimacy. No romance or sex.

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