Ace Archer

Basically, I'm just wondering how to navigate this. I used to have a best friend who I was ostensibly in a QPR (commitment, long-term plans, etc) with, but they were poly and also dating other people. That wasn't a problem for me until they said that one of their romantic partners wanted a more 'traditional' relationship in the future and that maybe the expectations around our relationship should change. Obviously, that "break up" was really hard. We're still friends but not nearly as close. But now that I've finally moved on I really would like to start looking for a QPP. I ultimately want a deep, long-term, live-in mutually supportive, emotional relationship, but classifying it as romantic doesn't seem right, although it might look similar. I often say that I want family, not romance. The thing is, I just don't really know how to go about it. Personally, I don't think I would have a problem with someone (including my partner) calling the relationship romantic, even though I wouldn't view it that way. So I thought about maybe going on dating apps and just being pretty up-front about my expectations. But I have a friend who says that that is "immoral" that I'd just be stringing people along and that it would be really crummy of me to be in a QPR with someone who is interested in Romance. Especially because I would be a little more hesitant about being in a more open relationship, given my previous experience. Probably this is just because I don't really understand the difference between romantic and platonic attraction (especially if you are sex-repulsed asexual, like myself), but I feel like as long as I'm clear about my expectations, it would be ok? Idk. It just seems like the possibility of finding something is so small if I don't use something like dating apps. I guess I just was wondering how people have found their QPPs and if you have any advice for finding one. Thanks!

For me it would be kind of a “daily” friend. Someone to cohabitate with who I can talk to about my day over dinner. Who I can sit in the same room with as we work on separate tasks, just enjoying each others company. Who I can have kitchen dance parties with, and sing with, and watch movies with on a Friday night while cuddling. Someone who I can sometimes share a bed with (non-sexually) as a cuddle buddy, cause I sleep so much better when I have that. Someone to share the boring parts of life with. Someone who I know is always there for me at the end of the day.

You are not alone. You have very succinctly summed up my feelings. Sometimes I feel like I can live with it and it doesn’t bother me much, but sometimes it just feels suffocating and unbearably lonely, especially as more and more of my friends are forming romantic relationships.

English Hey everyone! I’m Alice and I’ve known I’m Ace/Aro for a while now, but I don’t really have any other friends who are as well who can relate to some of the things I’m dealing with and my Aro pride has been pretty low of late, so I found this and thought it would be a good way to meet new people. About me: my biggest interest is D&D which I will talk about ad nauseam if you let me. I’m studying to be an elementary school teacher, I love music (playing and listening) and ballroom dance (esp. swing and Latin), and I love getting into deep philosophical discussions with people. I’m excited to be here and looking forward to making new friends!! Español Hola!! No sé si haya muchas personas internacionales o multilingües en este sitio, pero hablo español como mi segunda idioma (casi con fluidez), y por si acaso haya personas hispánicas, estoy incluyendo la misma introducción en español también. Me llamo Alice y he sabido que soy asexual y arromántica por un tiempo, pero no tengo amigos quienes son ace/aro y podrían entender algunas cosas con que sufro y no he tenido mucho orgulloso en mi arromantismo y por eso quería involucrarme en este sitio para hacer amigos nuevos. Un poco de mí: mi mayor interés es Dungeons and Dragons y si me permitas, hablaría sobre ello por horas y horas. Estoy estudiando para hacer una maestra de escuela primaria, me fascina música (tocando y escuchando), me encanta bailar, (en particular Swing y bailes latinos), y adoro a hablar de ideas profundas y filosóficas como amor, religión, el significado de la vida etc. ¡Estoy emocionada de estar aquí y tengo muchas ganas de conoceros!