Whirl

Aplatonic people. There's some great threads in the forum about it. You should look them up. What rules? Aromantic people can date if they want to, that's not a rule. They can have other types of partnerships and relationships if they want to. You're the one that came in here and said aro people shouldn't date and shouldn't call what they do dating. Aromantic people can do what they want and that includes dating and even being in romantic relationships. As long as they're not hurting anyone, why is it unfair or wrong? Insisting we shouldn't date is establishing a "correct answer" too, y'know? You seem to be open to alternative relationships and I think that's great, but keep in mind that not every aro person wants that for themselves. Be open to aro people being in so called regular/normal relationships. And be open to criticism, that's also part of debating.

I think I've said this before, but it's the name of a transformer that I like and personally hc as aro! He's also my pfp. Shout out to whirl, really gotta be one the transformers of all time

Hope you enjoy them!! I'd love to hear your thoughts about them!!

Hi Castle! Love the gorgug pfp!! I'm a huge d20 fan!! Riz means a lot to me 🥺 For recs, I highly recommend the IDW1 run of transformers, especially James Robert's stuff. Sci-fi! Robots! Lots of queer characters and very well developed relationships— some romantic and some not. For example, Whirl (my pfp and namesake here) has a very complex and sweet platonic relationship with another character, Cyclonus. I HC whirl as aro :) If you like found family I very much recommend it! You can find them on read comics online. It's a little confusing figuring out where to start, but tbh you can just pick a point that sounds interesting to you and go from there.

I guess some do? But they tend to be very stereotypical (like, lesbians and plaid) so I idk. Personally it depends on my energy that day. Most of my wardrobe is hand me downs, so I have to get real creative when I want to show a "personal" style lol. I like playing with silhouette (low key I try to look like a triangle) and accessories. I'm also a firm believer in that there's no such thing as too much jean in an outfit. But at the end of the day clothing is just stuff you have to put on your body so whenever I don't have a lot of energy or I'm just feeling down I'll put on a sweater and sweatpants.

I've also felt like I related to robots more than humans! Like and outsider looking in type of deal. I've had to learn what being a human is. That's why I love stories about robots learning about humanity and/or falling in love (non-romantically lol) with the world and the people in it. I think it's great you're reclaiming that concept for yourself! P.S I just remembered I posted about a story here last year that you might like! Here's the post, I'll just copy paste it cause I don't want to write all of that again lol: There's this short story by aroace & autistic writer Merc Fenn Wolfmoor that I absolutely love and, as someone with a complicated relationship to their own humanity, relate to very much. The main character, Tesla is ace and also heavily implied to be aro! It's called How to Become a Robot in 12 Easy Steps and you can read it here: https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/how-to-become-a-robot-in-12-easy-steps/ But!! Massive TW for discussion and depictions of depression and thoughts of self-harm and suicide. It left me pretty shaken and emotionally drained at some points, so, if you do read it, remember to practice self care!

I was rereading the ToS the other day and I think this applies to the conversation: "Making judgments about other users, especially about the validity of their sexual or romantic orientation or their choice of labels, is strongly discouraged. We are here to figure ourselves out, not to put each other in boxes." (Emphasis added. Section 2.f) Like Alex said, not all of us share the same views. Personally, this is the first time I've heard of it and based on how you explain it I don't have anything against it! It'd be interesting to learn more about it, but I can't contribute much I guess :/

I've met one aro person completely in the wild once! Like others have said, looking out for pins and other signifiers is a good way to find other aro and ace folks. In my case, the person I met was wearing an aro pin! I just walked up to them and said like "Oh! Me too!" They even gifted me the pin, which I thought was so sweet of him. Being visible about your identity and being a source of information is also good for meeting other aroace people. For example, one of my uni friends is probably also on the aroace spectrum! I lent her my copy of loveless and she's been texting about her low-key identity crisis the past few days lol. She's still figuring herself out though.

jajaja from what I undestand it depends on the kind of class? If they only teach abstinence then yeah it's sort of just "No, don't do that. We know you want to but don't" While other classes that teach about contraceptives, consent and safe sex it's more of "We know y'all are gonna do it, so here's how to do it safely" I didn't really have a sex-ed class. The biology teacher just came in one day, talked about contraceptives and reproduction and then left. But even that was more than most people get here in my country, so, y'know, can't complain i guess?

Agree! It is very fulfilling to realize that 1. there is more to the world than romance 2.you don't have to participate in it or feel it. I feel like we get to design our own version of an ideal life for us instead of folllowing the relationship escalator!

Well I wouldn't say it's 'too' explicit, at least not for me. Nothing that goes beyond a panel/page. I think a lot of queerphobic people latched onto the very few mentions/depictions of sexuality to ban a book for being unapolegetically queer! But idk what would make you uncomfortable and it's totally fair if you are (I can't watch some scenes from Grey's Anatomy cuz I get too umcorfotable so I get it lol). I'd say that, when you can, give the book a chance. And if it's not for you, then that's fine! Yes, definetely. I'd be nice maybe! Another idea is to incorporate lgbtq themes, topics and history into other classes. Maybe have more books about and by queer people in english class or discuss stuff like stonewall in history classes or maybe incorporate intersex, trans and nonbinary people into biology lessons? And definitely mention asexuality and aromanticism in sex-ed. Sex-ed assumes by default that everyone wants to/ will have sex and I feel like that's really damaging to young ace people.

I've been rereading Gender Queer non-stop this past weekend after I found it in my uni's library and I wanted to talk about it with y'all! Some context about the book + author in case you don't know about this. Kobabe is an aroace and nonbinary artist and eir book Gender Queer is a memoir about eir experiences and identity. I think it's a beautiful piece of work and I relate to it very much. It is also I believe the currently most banned/contested book in the US for two years straight! The parts where e talks about eir relationship with sexuality and romance hit close to home, especially when e talks about fantasizing about romance, but once being face to face with it, not wanting it. Also starting a tinder profile and going on dates just because you want to be able to accurately write about it in fanfic is really funny to me! Like, treating it as reasearch is something I literally did and can laugh at now. Here are some parts from the book I managed to grab from the web: So, have you read it? Did you like it? Would you like to read it, if you haven't? What do you think about its status as the most banned book? I just want to talk about this book in general so any comments/questions/anyhting is apreciated! Oh wow I didn't realize the images would be so big! Sorry about that! 😅

I do have one. This requires a little bit of context: when me and my (single and/or poly) friends go clubbing we play this dumb game where we try to make out with as many people as possible. And whenever I'm doing well i just say "It's because I literally have no standards!" Idk if it's self depricating but it makes me laugh.

Same, lol! And I second that, hope y'all are doing well! Mi gente latino! Pero en serio, me encanta ver mas personas hispanohablantes aca :D Y maruchan literalmente me ha salvado la vida varias veces asi que me encanta tu nombre de usario jajaja

Ask someone who knows her if she's crushing on you? If the friends answers yes maybe you can then talk to her directly. Or you could ask someone else if they think she's flirting with you. I also have difficulty knowing when people are flirting with me, so I ask others to help me figure it out. That usually works for me.

I think they're waiting for a cool/funny number lol 624

Well, by that point I had already realized I was most likely aro, but I hadn't accepted it. I didn't want it to be true. The discovery of my identity made me feel very sad and scared for a long time. Her video came out during that period of my life. I used to be a fan of hers, but had grown out of her content years ago. Yet I stil remember vividly when her video came out. A lot of people were talking about it. I remember watching it with bated breath. And it was honestly very comforting. I related a lot to what her own experiences and it made me feel less alone. It's by no means a perfect video, but it deifnitely helped me!

The problem with adoption, at least in my country, is that there's a huge social stigma behind single parent/monoparental adoption. It tends to be very similar to the one against queer couples: that they can't raise children properly, that they'll 'corrupt' them in some way, or (worst of all) that a single person or a queer couple would only adopt children to harm them. I even remember back in 2016-2017 some politicians tried to start a referendum to make adoption exclusive for heterosexual couples. No gay couples, no divorcees, no widows, no single parents. Luckily, it never got out of Congress, but that was a scary time. I think they got like 2 million signatures for the project too!

I think no one has mentioned it yet, but in the new transformers (earthspark) there's a cannon NB transformer! They're called Nightshade, their alt mode is an owl and they're so cool y'all Maybe when I'm home later today I'll add some pics and clips of them, but for now here's some lines from memory that may or may not be 100% correct: "What a gift, to know oneself so young"— this is from tarantulas, an older transformer, to Nightshade. Their episode together according to the writers is about meeting queer elders as a young queer "What a wonderful word, for a wonderful experience"— Nightshade says this once they learn the word nonbinary. They always knew who they were, but this was the first time they learned the word that described them! Also they literally say nonbinary, out loud and proudly. God I love this show.

I didn't know this term existed! I've been going by all pronouns for a while with some very close friends of mine, but personally (for now at least lol) I still idenitfy with my sex assigned at birth. I'm still figuring things out, so I'm not really tying myself down, but in my mind I just call myself a woman without a pronoun preference. :D And well, my take is that it's okay. pronoun ≠ gender. explore what feels right!

I share a place with my brother and he keeps bringing his girlfriend over. She's great, I have no problem with her as a person (though for me she's still little better than an aacquaintance). Just that they've been acting like the worst type of couple. They're practically attached at the hip, so I feel like I'm constantly third wheeling, even in my own home. They're all sappy and mushy with eachother. I normally don't have a problem with this but I swear to god if I hear them call eachother "my love" one more time I'll lose it. On the subject of having to hear them *tw for implied nsfw*-- It's so stressfull for me, but I can't complain about it, because then I'm the mean one who needs to go out with them more and "put on headphones if the noise's bothering you". And, on a personal note, I've been feeling really lonely lately and he barely even spends time with me anymore. And sure, I know I'm not the most extroverted person out there and he pretty much needs attention 24/7 and we also have very different lifestyles, but c'mon. Almost all week I've been coming home to an empty, depressing house. Atleast acknoledge me and spend time with me in a way we can both enjoy. I'm your sister ffs! We're the only family we have in this city!! Today I spent all morning doing stuff around the house and he didn't even bother to step out of his bedroom and say good morning (though you know who did? his gf, who spent the night over... again). He only said anything to me when I went to say goodbye, cause I was leaving for a friend's bday picnic. "I thought that was yesterday?" he said. "No, I told you yesterday it was changed to today" but it's clear you didn't listen. Also, he never replies to my mom's messages when he's with his gf and then she writes to me all worried about him. It's not like she stops you from using your phone, at least text your mom back dude. Today he didn't even step out of bed until way past noon, so it's not even that he was doing something importat! Aaaaand she's still here. He's making her watch breaking bad and listen to his favorite albums, with his commentary on top. I almost feel sorry for her. Don't you feel tired of him after having spent more than 24 hours together? He's my brother and I get tired of his shit all. the. time. Thanks for the thread @hemogoblin, I really needed it!

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