How would you respond to this?

[roboticanary]

interesting thing posted on aro reddit. Person given an assignment in class which asks:

What makes someone attractive? Think about what kinds of thins you look for in an ideal mate. These can be physical qualities, psychological qualities, personality traits, or anything else that you think is important when considering whether another person is attractive as a romantic partner. On the lines below, list 10 different things that make someone an attractive romantic partner.

 

So I was wondering how you would respond if this was a task you were made to do.

I would possibly start with 'is rich' and 'is dying' but it depends on how much trouble I think I would get in.

[Sili]

I guess I would go with what I would look for in a QPR, if I were a student and worried about getting in trouble. Now a days if someone asked me to do something like that I would scrunch up the paper and throw it back at them. Maybe a paper airplane.

[atrocious_ar0mantic]

In all honesty, I don’t have the energy to fake it. I’d be upfront with the teacher about my identity. If it wasn’t well-received, I’d either take the F or be a sarcastic arse about it.

[Ikarus]

I would respectfully decline taking the assignment. Then I would have to spend an hour explaining how I don’t experience this romance thing. Also surely I’m not the only one who thinks the whole assignment seems personally invasive even if you where allo since it seems there is an area for your name… no anonymity? What class is this by the way psychology or something?

 

Edited April 23, 2022 by Ikarus

[Nix]

15 minutes ago, Ikarus said:

Also surely I’m not the only one who thinks the whole assignment seems personally invasive even if you where allo since it seems there is an area for your name… no anonymity? What class is this by the way psychology or something?

Very invasive questions indeed! If I had been giving these when I was still at school (some 20 years ago) I would have probably been a ‘good student’ and just listed what I guessed the teacher wanted to hear, but now I would definitely challenge the teacher about these questions.

[Sili]

1 hour ago, Ikarus said:

Also surely I’m not the only one who thinks the whole assignment seems personally invasive

Very invasive

[Apex]

I had to do this for a class on relationships in college, and for my health/PE class in high school. I do think assignments like this can be helpful when teaching people about healthy & strong relationships, but I agree they're also a bit invasive and shouldn't focus on just romance. Because man they are really focused on romance lol

I think both times I answered with what I was looking for in a good friend or QPR

[nonmerci]

If it was a time I wasn't aware I was aro, I would have responding with what I like in friends and what would make the person a good father as it was a criteria for me back then, I guess. Or maybe that's the part when I would have realized I was aro because I would not know how to answer.

 

Now if it was a time when I already knew I was aro, I would explain the teacher why I can't do the assignement, and if the teacher doesn't believe me and wants to force me, I'll report it, possibly with the help of a "syndicat" as we say in French, to be sure that I'ml be heard.

I guess is the ache te r says something like "ok then think about what would be attractive if you were not aro" or "t tu to think about what you appreciate in people", I would do the assignement.

 

But that's sound like a weird assignement to me.

[roboticanary]

On 4/23/2022 at 2:54 PM, Apex said:

I had to do this for a class on relationships in college

 

On 4/23/2022 at 2:54 PM, Apex said:

I do think assignments like this can be helpful when teaching people about healthy & strong relationships, but I agree they're also a bit invasive and shouldn't focus on just romance.

holy wow, college?

I understand the thought of teaching kids the basics of healthy relationships but it seems really bad to have someone that old doing a basics of what you want in a partner thing.

assuming this is US college you are talking about people who are basically adults and paying for this? I'd be through the roof

[Angrboda]

I would pen a quick note to the teacher. Something like, "While I'm aromantic, (a recognized romantic orientation) & therefore don't experience romantic attraction, there are a few things that I find to be nice qualities in a friend. I've listed them here, as that's the closest I can come to giving an honest answer to the question that was posed in the assignment."

[Guest Jupiter]

On 4/22/2022 at 9:48 PM, lovely-lavender said:

In all honesty, I don’t have the energy to fake it. I’d be upfront with the teacher about my identity. If it wasn’t well-received, I’d either take the F or be a sarcastic arse about it.

Like lovely-lavender said, I'd be upfront with the teacher about my aroace identity also. I'm not gonna fake being allo, I don't even want a QPR.

[AromanticAardvark]

I probably would have just googled "top ten things that make a person attractive" and then picked which was important short-term and which was important long-term randomly

[SkyTuneRein]

I would set fire to it and return the ashes with a note saying "my answer, enjoy".

[dewy]

I'd probably just think of it in terms of friends as well as sexual attraction.

[arotr]

Extremely weird question to ask your kids. Like it's not wrong for kids to be thinking about this or anything, but I'm imagining myself in middle or high school and how I would have felt receiving this. I most likely would have been extremely upset by it.

[Holmbo]

I suppose I would just imagine a platonic partner and say what I'd like from them.

[Acecream]

I had the same task when I was in school (+ heteronormative bullshit that girls had to write about boys and boys about girls (sorry for the binarism)), I think it was the year before my high school graduation lol

i remember me sitting next to my aro friend (we both didn’t knew the other one was aro and I didn’t use the label for myself yet) and we both had like NO idea what to write haha

i remember how everyone wrote down a lot of physical aspects and I was just soooo confused. I think I wrote „nice“ or something.

 

my flatmate is becoming a teacher. He told me he did this task in class, bc he wanted to talk about an answer a kid gave. But I was more shocked about the fact he did this tasks. I think it‘s terrible for every queer kid (that is not out), not only aros

Edited May 29, 2022 by Acecream