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Do you think aros tend to want to be alone more than allos?


Holmbo
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Personally as an aromantic i love being single and alone and don’t want any relationship/marriage with anyone. But there’s some aro people who wants to be in a relationship, but don’t feel romantic attraction. It can be a platonic relationship or whatever they wanna call it. And some allo people wants to be single by choice.

Not two aromantics are the same and neither is the allo people. 

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no, not really, not significantly more than allos. obviously this'll be a personal anecdote, but i for one love hanging out with people, and spending time with my friends. i do also enjoy complete alone time for a few days, but then i can feel myself get lonely and antsy, and i'm not a particularly outgoing person. 

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For me, not really. I really like being around others. But I do wish I weren't second fiddle to my friends "romantic partners" and just being someone that they talk to casually. And that people enjoyed talking about serious topics more, instead of "small talk" as I'm currently in a country where small talk is the most acceptable form of banter apparently. So maybe that's why my social life sucks big time. 

I do also need alone time and stuff, but right now I haven't had much IRL social interaction due to COVID-19, at least apart from my parents and my neighbors.

 

Edited by MulticulturalFarmer
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Not sure. I suspect I am more able to say that I want time alone than someone who is in a relationship. Some people can communicate that well but a few people I know are not keen on saying that they would like to be alone especially if they are living with a partner. This even though they would likely do well out of a bit of time to themselves.

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I can't speak for anyone but me, as I don't know any other aros in real life, but I LOVE having plenty of time to myself. The dead center of what I I enjoy in life tends to center around living alone. I don't know that that relates to me being aro though.

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One thing I like but most don't doing stuff alone. Like going to museums alone, walking around big city streets alone, going to concerts alone and more. I like being out and about doing stuff. But often like doing it alone rather than with others. 

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  • 4 months later...
Guest Ryan

I'm aromantic, and I want to be alone. I don't want any relationship, not even a QPR. I like having plenty of time to myself also. I'd only live with someone else so I can make them do chores or earn me money or something.

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56 minutes ago, Guest Ryan said:

I'm aromantic, and I want to be alone. I don't want any relationship, not even a QPR. I like having plenty of time to myself also. I'd only live with someone else so I can make them do chores or earn me money or something.

Mwahahaha! Yes! 3:)

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like just enjoying your own company?  i definitely do.  for the past year i've been living alone at my cottage where i don't have friends and it's been nice enough, i miss the city itself more than the socialization i did back there (though that too, to an extent).  while i love hanging out with my best friend and sometimes enjoy bigger/more lively parties or whatever, i'm definitely more of an introvert, i'm independent, and i'm my favourite person, so i'm never lonely.  i would imagine that aros in general would tend to feel this way.  like i think there are people--aros and allos--who prefer to socialize simply because they're extroverts, and then there are people who are always jumping from one social event/relationship to another because they can't stand to spend time with themselves, maybe they're insecure or don't have much of an identity, i don't know, but i have to imagine if aros were ever that kind of person they'd sooner or later be forced to learn not to be.  luckily i always loved myself and had my own interests and goals--i wasn't relying on my peers for those things so there wasn't much adjusting to do when it became clear that i wouldn't be outsourcing them to romantic partners.  so there's my amateur psychological assessment.  or narcissistic pontification.

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Its complex for me. Left to my own devices, I would isolate myself very quickly, which would lead to a spiral of depression which would lead me to isolate myself more etc etc. I definetly prefer my own company, and I like online communication most. However, I've always had a housemate, and make myself go and meet other people irl every couple of weeks at least, as my mental health suffers if I dont.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

I'm demi, but I tend to fare better alone. I think this has something more to do with being introverted, than being not-so-romantic/sexual.

Edited by SkyTuneRein
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I usually prefer being around others but I can also enjoy working on projects by myself. Although I do get lonely if I spend too much time just working and not enough time with others.

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Before I realised I was aro I did look a bit at relationship advice in an attempt to understand my doomed experiences in romance.

One thing I remember coming up a lot was the need to respect personal space, which seems to create a lot of conflict with the demand for intimacy romance seems to demand. In particular, how do you satisfy that demand in a shared living space.

so I wonder if those who do get into these relationships simply expect alone time to be something they have to lose (especially if they want kids). Not so much that they want to be alone less but they know that is something they are going to lose and decide the benefit of the relationship is worth that cost.

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I've actually been kinda lonely lately due to a lack of close close close friendship.

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Posted (edited)

I wouldn't say so, no. We're just people of course, and so we can be just as random when it comes to personality, be it extroverted, introverted, ambiverted, etc. Being aromantic is the lack of romantic attraction, that's it, so of course, aromantics have the same capability of loneliness just as anyone else. I think if a survey were made it would be about the same between aros and allos. The difference is, when allos would do the survey, they may be more likely to automatically assume the question is more along the lines of whether they want a romantic partner; while aros may be more likely think of the question more along the lines of others they're close to, pets, etc.

Edited by pulchritudinous_toast
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