9-BBN Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Hi everyone, I'm really trying to pin if I'm aromantic or not and I had kind of a silly question about crushes and "choosing" them. I asked a similar question on AVEN and it seems that the whole idea of choosing crushes is more along the lines of being aro/ace. I'm not totally sure if I am actually chose my crushes as a kid and teen. So it would be great if y'all could give some insight. When I was younger, I hardly had any crushes (at least what I understood to be crushes). I can think of 3 people in my 20 years that I thought I had a crush on. But these "crushes" seemed to always be a product of these people paying a little extra attention to me and then BAM it was like that was what triggered this so called "crush". I did develop feelings for these people (I think?). Like I would feel bubbly or whatever and want to talk to these people and be around them. But it never was fantasizing about a relationship or anything like that for the most part. I'm not sure if by noticing these people I was "choosing" or not. Is that what "choosing" a crush is like? I feel like having a crush on someone is being swept away by them or falling for them and I'm not totally sure if that's what this was. Even the one person that briefly became more than a crush, when we would hang out on dates I always just wanted to talk to him and be around him. He wanted more, more physical things that I was never invested in ever and it never crossed my mind that the physical things people do romantically were normal. Apologies if this is more of a ramble, but I'm not really sure where I stand on the romance spectrum. It's confusing and much harder to pin than asexuality was 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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