9-BBN

I'm currently going through this and something that has helped me cope whenever I feel myself on the brink of an anxiety spiral is really just trying to remember that the people I hold closest in my life are the last people I need to worry about hurting me. While friends are often "cast aside" when it comes to romantic relationships, I think a common theme regarding close/best friends is that friends will never leave you in the same ways that romantic partnerships end. The closest friend will always be near me when I need her most because that's what friends do and at the end of the day, I really shouldn't worry about it. And say, if they do leave you...well that tells you what kind of person they are and what kind of friend they are too. However, with that logic, if you truly know someone well, you should also know them well enough to know they would never do that. In terms of keeping in touch, just honest communication about how friendships mean practically everything to you. I think it reaffirms to your friend that your relationship is important and a commitment.

Hi everyone, I'm really trying to pin if I'm aromantic or not and I had kind of a silly question about crushes and "choosing" them. I asked a similar question on AVEN and it seems that the whole idea of choosing crushes is more along the lines of being aro/ace. I'm not totally sure if I am actually chose my crushes as a kid and teen. So it would be great if y'all could give some insight. When I was younger, I hardly had any crushes (at least what I understood to be crushes). I can think of 3 people in my 20 years that I thought I had a crush on. But these "crushes" seemed to always be a product of these people paying a little extra attention to me and then BAM it was like that was what triggered this so called "crush". I did develop feelings for these people (I think?). Like I would feel bubbly or whatever and want to talk to these people and be around them. But it never was fantasizing about a relationship or anything like that for the most part. I'm not sure if by noticing these people I was "choosing" or not. Is that what "choosing" a crush is like? I feel like having a crush on someone is being swept away by them or falling for them and I'm not totally sure if that's what this was. Even the one person that briefly became more than a crush, when we would hang out on dates I always just wanted to talk to him and be around him. He wanted more, more physical things that I was never invested in ever and it never crossed my mind that the physical things people do romantically were normal. Apologies if this is more of a ramble, but I'm not really sure where I stand on the romance spectrum. It's confusing and much harder to pin than asexuality was