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A book passage that knocks amatonormativity


Holmbo
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This is really good. A perfect summary of the way I view romantic love.
If I remember correctly, I read a post here on arocalypse that talked about Shakespeare.
In another work he set the focus on the friendship instead of the romance - which was portrayed in a negative way.
It seems to be a common theme with him. Guess I should start to read more Shakespeare. ;)

Was also very interesting to read romance in the mid-nineteenth century was seen as dangerous or as impediment.
We as aros seem to be immune to it but I can sympathize with the notion that this kind of love is some sort of illness.
And I realized once again I wouldn't like to be married, probably not even out of rational reasons :S.
Anyways thanks for sharing!

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Oh my gosh wow whoever wrote this book has their mind in the right place! I never realized that skaespeare May have written the story to actually portray how crazy it can be, that’s a great analysis. And it’s sad to see that unhealthy relationships are often romanticized in movies, tv shows, etc. It’s not ok to give yourself up for “love” in any circumstances, it should be a relationship of communication and understanding (I mean if I was all I that’s what I would want in a romantic relationship.) Bit anyways, great find!

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Wow. I totally feel that author. A part of me (the crazy shipper I used to be) feels bad, because even though I know ‘love’ doesn’t have to be romantic, I still feel like romantic love is THE ONE AND ULTIMATE. Lol. Amatonormativity at its finest.

It’s really interesting how those feel good chemicals are released when you’re ‘in love’ or just you know, happy being around people ya like. Ah. Romance. 

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On 1/19/2019 at 7:00 PM, lonelyace said:

Man, I want to know what the next page says now.

The rest of the book is not about romance. It's mostly about values and how to choose your priorities. I found it very rewarding. The subtle art of not giving a fuck, by Mark Manson.

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"It is suspected by many scholars..." 

 

Suspected? I thought it was the standard interpretation of R&J that the "romance" it portrays is in fact an absurdly overwrought experience of teenage infatuation? (Aren't the titular characters canonically like, 14? Who know each other for all of three days before deciding to die rather than live without the other?) 

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On ‎1‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 2:52 PM, eatingcroutons said:

Suspected? I thought it was the standard interpretation of R&J that the "romance" it portrays is in fact an absurdly overwrought experience of teenage infatuation? (Aren't the titular characters canonically like, 14? Who know each other for all of three days before deciding to die rather than live without the other?) 

Anyone who stops to think about the story usually comes to that conclusion. But in pop culture Romeo and Juliet are often referenced as the paragon of love, the relationship that all couples should aspire to have. I've also seen Sampson and Delilah, another relationship that ends in tragedy, referenced as a couple to model. It's odd that alloromantic people seem to glorify these relationships that end so badly as the thing that everyone should want, and yet that's what they do.

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The section on how love is like cocaine just reminded me of Twilight where they refer to each other as a personal supply of heroin (or some other highly addictive substance).  They are all literally love junkies

 

On 1/20/2019 at 7:50 AM, AutistAro said:

A part of me (the crazy shipper I used to be) feels bad, because even though I know ‘love’ doesn’t have to be romantic, I still feel like romantic love is THE ONE AND ULTIMATE. Lol. Amatonormativity at its finest.

So if most people are love junkies, us aros who ship it but don't partake are like casual users? ? well at least not partaking means we won't be ruined in a messy divorce or dead a la Romeo

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 1/20/2019 at 10:52 PM, eatingcroutons said:

Suspected? I thought it was the standard interpretation of R&J that the "romance" it portrays is in fact an absurdly overwrought experience of teenage infatuation? (Aren't the titular characters canonically like, 14? Who know each other for all of three days before deciding to die rather than live without the other?) 

It's a tragedy. With the most immediate source material being "The Tragicall Historye of Romeus and Iuliet" from 1562, some 30 years before Shakespeare wrote the play. Though the story appears to have been around since at least 1476.

 

On 1/22/2019 at 1:28 AM, lonelyace said:

Anyone who stops to think about the story usually comes to that conclusion. But in pop culture Romeo and Juliet are often referenced as the paragon of love, the relationship that all couples should aspire to have.

Does anyone know when this first became a common interpretation?

 

On 1/22/2019 at 1:28 AM, lonelyace said:

I've also seen Sampson and Delilah, another relationship that ends in tragedy, referenced as a couple to model.

This makes even less sense. Since the "love" here is very much one sided. With the result being an abusive relationship.

I wonder what the Classical Hebrew of Judges 16.4 actually says.
 

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  • 6 months later...

Yeah, this is how I view it too. I don't consider myself romance-repulsed. But I am repulsed by unhealthy obsession/attachment that is sometimes called "romance." I have seen only a few romantic relationships that aren't obsessive, and I really like the idea of that kind of romance (not for me, but for other people). I think a lot of people have a really messed up view of romance, tbh. (But I'm aro so I could be wrong).

 

Edit: now it's sad to think that I spent months studying Romeo and Juliet last school year, before reading this perspective. I could've written a whole book about this. Oh well, I'll be studying more literature soon, I'm sure this will come up.

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