mewix

Yeah if I had proper friends x3 I think for that just a general party for all ur friends is good tho. And there is ofc friendship day. A nice chance to send someone a card or a small token gesture gift some snacks perhaps. Also birthdays exist :3 if you don't mind celebrating just one person at a time.

They are defo very different thing however hikikomori is a pretty interesting though sad phenomenon of withdrawing from expectations and shame and such. It is them that put themselves in the situation. Avoiding most or all contact of the outside world unless to collect food or such. I guess the ways mentioned here about avoiding the things expected in society is what is in common.

I think everything is socially constructed to some extent. So I question how much any concept is valid. Even things like sexual orientation, things can be more fluid than you think however biology itself can be a limiting factor. Some wish to transcend it, or find that it comes with labels that does not define them whether it be societal or something else. At the end of the day I don't think, what gender I am is a useful question for me personally. It might feel like more of a question to those who are confused and feel in need of it. But I don't think it should define someone. At esence I don't think there is anything fundamentally male or female. Things are often a lot more fluid. But even just asking who am I is a hard question? When you strip away the actions that define you there is nothing left at the end of the day. Things like personality, how assertive/passive you are can get intertwined with such concepts too. And these concepts vary greatly by culture. If stereotypes and social expectations were done away with, I think intersex people would have a lot less problems finding out what they are and intergrating in. Because we are individuals after all. I think we need to respond flexibly to peoples needs. As far as I know there is no other person exactly like me xP (or maybe I have a doppelganger somewhere hmm) Language is shaped and constructed too in that manner and dictates a lot of behavior. So looking deeply into discourses is important. People experience being different for many reasons and to see what is included and what isn't is important. As for identities like non-binary I think they can be useful for those who feel like not quite right in their body but neither to maleness or femaleness or even a mix of both and to describe their experience. However I think that it would be wrong to describe anyone as totally binary because our experiences are fluid not fixed to one point completely, like yin and yang. I don't think there is such thing as fully one thing. When we label ourselves I think it is best not to get too attached. That way you are free to define yourself open endedly and by your actions not by a predefined state. Words should not need to control you, words can help you perhaps but not dictate. It's like with people who label themselves with a group identity like a environmentalist, atheist etc. it's important not to get too attached and make that the defining factor.

Someone told me they dreamt in third person and I was so confused haha virtually always I have first person dreams either as me or as someone else. I have occasionally had third person dreams tho one was more like a slideshow lol

Relationship free is a term I have seen used instead at least when it is a conscious choice. I don't get the term single because that is your natural state, you don't become some fused being with someone else. You are always kind of an individual just things might work differently. It also has the expectation you will be partnered at sometime. It does depend what you class as a relationship but in this case I mean formal or normative attached relationship.

If think I see it as this, while I do have avoidant tendencies I just don't want romance to begin with. It isn't that im avoiding it, it's not for me. As mentioned here attachment theory does assume what is normal and what should be. As do a lot of relationshio advice online, i'm always like.. but I don't want that.

Yeah there is a lot of the whole get independent asap so you can depend on the capitalist system kinda thing. More eastern countries for example might have more extended families and living together. And this is kinda something not favoured. But being able to not have to depend on someone else has been liberating for example a woman does not necessarily need a man anymore. It ironically might have helped LGBT people too by creating a sort of system where people's individual choices were respected. Though obviously there have been societies in the past which were accepting of such /didnt care which weren't so individualist. You can though still live alone technically and have a support network and such. And relations with nature, animals are valid too. The problem is we have become so diassociated from our communities and surroundings. Also more younger people are choosing to live with their parents longer for money reasons. There is also housemates and house sharing. Or flats with shared areas for young professionals. Still some of that might be pushed back by the pandemic. However I still think thinking of yourself as an individual unit with choices and such is an important way of thinking.

I have to politely disagree. Fetisizing is a useful term. Merriam Webster- "an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression" So it is something often not inherently sexual but becomes a fixation sexually to the point where it could be interfering with your healthy expression. Could be being attracted to shoes for example even when no one is wearing them because for some reason you associate it with being sexual. It could be to the point you cant feel feelings without shoes around. It can also be used in a non sexual context too of something you are obsessively attracted to. However I don't think the term applies here.

I think it can be good to just judge things as there are and not be so quick to label. And negotiate and communicate what it is you want. Different ppl for different things. And yeah the fact is you can find joy abundantly. I think you can apply that not just to people but activities anything you do or is around you (even if you can't negotiate you can respect boundaries :P) I don't think you even need to label the practice necessarily. I think there will always be some valuing of one relationship over another to some extent however just less hierarchical more just this is what I enjoy and works. Here are some good podcasts I found on the topic. https://petermcgraw.org/relationship-anarchy/ https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/150-relationship-anarchy http://www.relationship-anarchy.com/podcasts/

Yeah I dunno not male but yeah the type of talk is certainly different seeming. I still feel put off sometimes about the overly sexual nature I kinda get the hint of lol But I hear for men that it is more common to be attracted to body first personality later. I have certainly seen romantinc feelings from men and they do a lot of the romantic activities often in heterostuff at least. There is also the aspect of men hiding certain sorts of emotions or there being acceptable forms of expression. There is a IDR quiz that predicts your "maleness " "femaleness" based on what you seek in a partner lol. Mine goes very um male in terms of that aspect only that is.

I think if a story fails the bechdel test it isn't necessarily bad. Like dr who did but that was because the main character was male and overwhelmingly centered around that and monsters. But I'd like to see more female lead films and such. Pixar seems to be mostly male character films, I guess disney does better tho there is a lot of the princessy stuff. With animal characters which a technically neutral a lot of people just assume them to be male unless they do a lot of stereotypically feminine behaviours or look overly feminised (breasts, skinny legs, small face etc)

I went to a single sex school so hardly anyone brought partners or dates or anything. Some people brought plus ones of people who left the school. I seen something online about ppl bringing their cats to prom or whatever b4 lol

It seems kinda sexist and based on stereotypes tbh Getting aroused by cooking like is this a fetish? (Not judging thoo) and it didn't even have an option just to say you enjoy cooking. XP Also it was kinda hard to do on mobile. So I gave up completing it *shrugs*

Yeah I'm a non drinker I dun see the point really apart from the fact people socialise over it. But you can socialise over other things I think. Seems like a lot more younger people don't than before tho and all those health trends.

I'd never have a wedding. But for this theoretical thing I would try make it ridiculous as possible with as many elements possible. All guests will arrive in horse drawn carriages. There will be little fairy lights everywhere. An owl will deliver a statement from the sky. A huge wedding cake that is so tall it towers into the sky. It would be next to the mountains and rivers outside near a resort. Part of the ceremony happens on a boat. There will be a huge piles of flowers, not bouquets more sorta natural. There will be an area to pet dogs and another for cats. Afterwards there will be a huge buffet feast.

Yeah there was that whole thing about people immersed in romantic dating games or with virtual girlfriends xP easier than real ppl I suppose So that's where it came from ? Yeah I read that before in science stuffs it's a bit like a drug. I think the birth rate thing is not helped by the strict expectations on what a traditional wife should be, giving up career, lack of maternity rights etc.

Yeah I mean I think anyone can though trans people more so in general depending on how comfortable things are at the time. I mean it is kinda more defining here and in the diagnosis sense. I think anyone questions whether they are who they are whether that be gender or something else. Whether their body matches who inside or they have the right to be in a certain space or be a certain way. And also things like internalised misogyny/misandry and gender roles can play a role in questioning. Or there are cisWomen who feel their body isn't feminine enough or vice versa so go the opposite way. Cis as a just label that means not trans. Cis by default or such. I don't identify as any gender as such as I don't see any point. I am still my birth sex/gender tho I don't see it as something to reject but it doesn't define me as much as it is how people see me.

Came to say hi to y'all I dunno I don't really identify as aromantic, I don't say I am romantic either particularly. I don't know if I find the concept particularly something useful to me personally, but I came to have look around and learn a little as I was reading a book, that talked in part about aromantics and some of the experiences which were relatable. I am a bisexual female however but towards Women and mostly prefer that. I read there are sexual people who identify as aromantic, which I usually associated as more of an asexual thing. I agree with the fact I rather have a friendship that is a sexual sort of thing or just deep friendships generally. But I dunno if that is an orientation more then just a preference or a choice that I made for myself. I haven't really particularly been in many relationships but the few times I did they felt so restrictive, even though I enjoyed the attention I got. I dunno if getting presents for someone you like is seen as romantic as I enjoy it. But then you get presents for a friend to express you like them so what is the thing that distinguishes that. I don't like a lot of traditional hetero-courtship tho but thats kinda a different thing some of it related to gender roles/sexism. A lot of girls seem to have a close friendship in a way could be constructed as a light romance yet not defined as such. In terms of romance stories I find them particularly boring. Then again homosexual romance sometimes can be a bit more interesting to me so not always. As a side thing I think romances can make a story interesting but as a main thing I don't see the point, there needs to be something else. I don't like the whole weak princess saved by a prince thing either. I have seen romance defined as exclusive. But then polyamory can be non exclusive, sure some relations are like more or less closed to 3 or more people but some are more open. Or even just open relationships. The definition of romance seems kinda blurry. But even with standard poly it does have a level of commitment that wouldn't so much interest me tho there is solo poly. But something like relationship anarchy as concept is something interesting to me, especially since it isn't just about sex tho even standard poly doesn't have to be I think. Casually dating sounds fun too without commiting but idk how much point, maybe friendship dating. Part of romance does seem kinda socially constructed, I mean most concepts are but like there is a clear sense of it being created historically speaking as a thing. Before it existed I think things like relations were more defined just sexually or for societal reasons. The whole courtship thing seems it wasn't much of a thing before. And even such intense sorts of feelings the likes that are associated with it seem to fizzle out and being too infatuated or obsessive in itself might be unhealthy? In the end I don't think I am averse to romance just not interested at least in the typical sense. Maybe something more open. I also just enjoy hugging and relaxing with others even as a group I wouldn't mind. I just rather there was more acceptance of this kinda thing. I heard some Women saying that being non commited is the worst thing and a character flaw particularly towards men which seems very harsh to me. I get a lot of Women want commitment especially with a guy. I have seen poly described in such peoples minds as like one man with a lot of girls and not treating them very well, which I don't think necessarily is the case. Or they think sex for just the sake of it is bad. Also there is the thing that Women are more romantic or the ones who want it and while Men might give romance they are seen as more sexually attracted tho ofc both are and Women can be quite sexual too. I think if you want a family or stability it might make sense for traditional things. But yeah I am not that particularly interested tho openminded on things. I am interested in relationship free or alternative ways of being in a community. I don't see myself wanting to start a family or whatever anytime soon. I have also looked into celibate lifestyles (as opposed to asexual) and how people learnt from such to relate better to others. Anyway that's my rambling over, nice to meet you all. Also I like animals, art, computers and stuff like that.