nonmerci

Does Every breath you take from the Police count? A lot of people see this as a love song But in fact he wrote it thinkig about a fan who was obsessed with him and stalked him. So I like to see this as a song that denounces how crazy people are about their shi (and I Wonder how people can think this is a love song because it is so unhealthy). Also For Good from the Musical Wicked. A song about how friendship helps you grow.

It depends on what you want. Do you want to make it clear that they are aro? Or you don't mind if people don't know they are aromantic (people won't assume that if you don't say it, using the word or not, they won't understand). You can also bring the subject at another moment in the book. If your characters are talking about their fear to come out, in particular at the begining of the story, the reader will be disappointed if they don't come out at some point in the story. I make my character "come out" to my (future) reader twice. First time, it was bring in the conversation quickly because another character thought he was a crush for him. Second time, it was longer because my character loves to torture people, and I wanted to make it clear that his singleism has nothing to do with his behavior. And when he became a better person, I'll do it again to say that just because he stops torturing people doesn't mean he has to date. Now I think it's your choice, and anyway, I'm sure this will be the good one.

I'll be 25 on Monday. It's interesting to see most of people here are still in High school.

You're friend in uninformed. Aromantic spectrum and romance repulsion are two different things. When I was a child I kept saying "love is a beautiful thing" everytime I saw people kiss on tv. I planned to get married (mostly because I wanted children I guess, I wonder éd about how I will call my children, not about how my hussand will look or romantic things ?). And I am still on the aro spectrum. Plus it's you who know how you feel, people can't just say "no you are not" as if they know better than you your experience... I'm sorry your friend réactions like that. Maybe if you talk about him about that he will realize he was disrespectful, or he would have think of it. The problem of aromanticism is that it is not a well-known label, so sometimes when we want to come out we end up educating people. Anyway, don't let one bad experience keep you from coming out again if that what you want. Some people are in denial, but other will be supportive and happy to liste to you.

Your example is funny because I watched a Swedwish tv show (trandslate into my language), and had no difficulty to understand, even if I don't know anything about the country and never been there. Maybe it would not have been the same if I watched a movie from Bollywood, but when it comes to Western countries we share a lot of similarities. I'm not saying we are the same, of course, but we speak of "general ideas of the context" so it doesn't matter. I'm not saying we could watch any movie from any country without problem, but you can for a lot. For instance, as I know about French, I would never recommand to watch Asterix et Obelix if you don't know about French culture because of all the references; but you can easily watch Intouchable. For culture very different, I just think that way : if other can adatp to our cultural context, we can do it too. And for people who won't read subtitles, that's a problem you have with any language (cf my dad who prefer to wait months instead of watching in vostfr). All this to say that if the ultimate aro content had to be watchable for everyone, but as said @Apathetic Echidna, instead of it being in English, it would be better if it was translate in mutliple languages so everyone can watch it.

True that we all speak some English here, but a lot of people out there don't, so it could be cool for them to have things in their own language. Even when we speak English it could be difficult for us to understand. For instance, I can write and read English, but when it comes to people talking, I don't understand half of it if there is no subtitles. And when it comes to scientific or technic article, it's exhausting for me to read. Plus we could forget very good content just because they are not in English. i see where you come from, but I think it's better to have it in any language; and maybe traduce it if needed.

The way your mum phrased it sounds like aromanticism is an excuse to have sex without being in a relationship - which is not the case. It would ne Mike saying that allo romantic asexual is just a word for people who don't like sex. This is not the case. People don't chose their orientation. It's not that aro allo don't want commitment : they just don't feel romantic attraction. Some even are romance repulsed, just like people are sex repulsed. By the way, it depends what you ment by commitment. Some aros are look in for strong bounds too. I won't speak for aro allos (I already speak too much I think), but I suggest you look for QPR. I also saw posts in this forum that talk about this, you should look in the section aromantic relationships. Edit : @Jot-Aro Kujo your comment about the Sims killed me.

It may be the internet, but they want to create a website to represent the aro community as a whole, so it sounds natural to contribute. Now, I don't think we have the right to put a veto and some posts were not phrase well (sur la défensive, as we say in French, don't know how to say it in English sorry). It's not just a website, it's suppose to become come the reference about aromanticism, so every aro is allowed to express how they feel about it. In particular when they ask for poney. Now, I am more on the "see before judging" side, but I don't blame people for being worried.

Remind me when I first describe the crush of my hero and felt I was writing something cliché. I was sûre it doesn't exist in real life. Except it does. ?

For how I see it, it is more the contrary : evil people are aromantic. Which is as stupid. Just because you're the bad guy doesn't mean you can't fall in love. It associates evilness and absent of romantic love. I had an aromantic moment the other day at Mcdo. Sitting next to me, two people was trying to convice a girl that she had problems with her boyfriend, bit she didn't want to break up because they are together for there years and she loves him. They were talking about it before I arrive, and was just finishing when I left. At some point, I wanted to scream "you're clearly not happy with that guy, talk with him or break up, but LET ME ET IN SILENCE". I really don't understand why people can't see what is obviously when they are in love.

I would have trier to make him understand how blinded he is. And if he doens't work, I would have let him like this and think about it during days with anger, thinking of all the things I could have say to him. ? But I agree, a lot of people associate poetry and romance. Probably because poetry became about feelings around XIX century. But first, feelings doesn't equal love, and second, we can write about everything we want.

True, but I really don't understand that. But anyway I am someone who tries to understand people instead of judging them, even when I disagree, so I can't get why a lot of people erase us. (I mean, I see, they are scared because it leads them to think differently about things they were sure and it scared them, but still...)

We tend to think LGBT people would understand because they have to face society too, but amatonormativity is not a straight thing, it is everywhere. Though I fail to understand how people who faced erasure can erase people too. Maybe that was just the surprise, and if you talk with him about it again he will understand?

That's interesting! I like ACARE but Magni makes à good point with autocorrect. ASAC is a good idea I think. Will you do a poll with all the suggestions?

When I come out, I use the word "aromantic", because it is the only way it sounds like an orientation. Or maybe say I am not attracted to people. But not "I am not interested" because it sounds too much like what a single allo could say if he is confortable in his situation. And what I said when I thought I just haven't fin the one yet. I don't feel that I am coming out if I don't make it clear that it is an orientation.

I would say to insist that he is disgusted by relationship in general and that this is due to his education. Also make it clear that in the end he is ok with it. It is ok that he has past trauma. What is offensive is if you makes this the cause of his aroaceness. For instance, in a story I have a psycho and traumatised aroace character, so I make it clear that his mental problems has nothing to do with his orientation, and that his orientation is as valid as any other. I'm not romance repulsed so I can't say. About stereotypes, I would say : look at Sheldon Cooper, and avoid everything BBT did (seriously, they did all the stereotypes : emotionless, no empathy, no understanding other's feeling, seing as a robot or an alien, and the worst, the idea that finding the one will change him). About coming out, it depends. A friend of mine was talking naturally about her bisexuality, which leads me to come out for the first time. It was great, because my friends are open-minded and polite. With my mother it was more complicated. She told me the classic "you'll change your mind later maybe". The difficulty with this orientation is that a lot of people don't know about it and/or deny his reality. And when they believe you they are horrified to think you will live forever alone.

Interesting topic. I think we talk a bit about it somewhere about wanting or not a QPR. I think that some of our language are a bit amatonormative. When I first discover our vocabulary it sounds like "we don't have romantic feelings but we still can form special bonds with people". The way some people talk about QPR makes me feel as alien than people who talk about romantic relationships. I think that romance is everywhere, so it's difficult to escape it, even when we try.

I think society is very ambivalent when it comes to sex. In movies, everything is sexualized, and popularizes the idea that everybody thinks about it, in partiular males that can't live without masturbating or watching porno (I can name a lot of shows or movies with this idea). It is never questionned. And people think like that in real life : if you don't feel sexual attraction, you are seen as anormal, or ill, people refuse to believe you… Wanted to have sexx is seen as natural. But at the same time, sex without love is diabolized. A woman who does it is seen as a slut, and a guy plays with girls feelings or is afraid of a serious relationship. Think of all this movie where it says that women Don't respect themselves because of that, or where men keep doing it until they met THE woman who will "cure" them by making them fall in love… Society really judges this kind of behavior. And when it comes to sex friends, a lot of people think this is not possible because it is not possible to have sex multiple times with the same person without falling in love. And when it comes to alloromantic, they stop doing it when they enter a romantic relationship (which is logical as it would be seen as "cheating" by society, but shows that they only consider it as something to fill the lack of sex with romance, romance is prioritize by them). More, sex is always acceptable when linked to romance. Romantic love is supposed to make it better. If you truly love someone, sex will always be good. If you don't want to have sex with your romantic partner, he/she will question your romantic feelings for him/her. Sex and love are seen as complementary by most people. So I won't say that aro allo are priviledge. Sure sexual attraction is seen as something desirable and normal by society, but if you act on this sexual attraction without being in a romantic relationship, society will condemn you. This is the huge contradiction of society : it sexualizes everything, but at the same time if you have sex you are seen as a bad person.

Not sure that it counts as Nothing is published (yet ) and anyway it's in French, but I do work on books where there is aromantic stuff. In one, I have a QPR (though none of the characters are aro (I Don't even know aromanticism existed at that time), I built their relationship on the idea that boys and girls can be friend and that friedship can be a bond as strong as romance; and it ended up that I describe them as "soulmates but not in a romantic way"). In another, I have an aroace character. I was sure for ace (he is even sex-repulsed), but not about aro because the guy is a sociopath and I didn't want to add to the "aro are psychopaths" stereotype. But at the same time, he will stop a bit his sociopath behavior, and I didn't want to add to the "love will make you a better person" stereotype. So after a lot of thoughts, I decided that I didn't have time for romance anyway and that aro is good. Anyway he is the best character. And in a story I have finished, I thought that if I ever write a sequel someday, I was wondering if my main character will be aromantic and allosexual. In particular as it is a book for children (for 10 years old and more), it could sensibilize to that question.

So true. This is basically how it always goes for me : "I like their friendship, let's see some videos about them" *go to youtube* A few minutes later : "Ok, internet turned them into a couple... again".

What about Merlin (from the show Merlin)? Some girls showed interest in him from time to time, but I don't remember him showing romantic feelings (or maybe I just don't remember because it is a long time since I watch the show (note to myself, rewatch it)). I know a lot of people ship him with Morgana or Arthur, but shippers have to ship right? The writters said that Merlin will never be involved in a romance, and indeed he never did. So he could be somewhere in aro spectrum?

I never get why people opposé work and romance when it comes to happiness. Why a romantic relationship would be the only way to be happy? If you don't like your job, I get that a romantic relationship would be more satisfying, but there must be people who love their job somewhere and think it is important for them...

I think that's possible, though it always hard to say what feel another person. Any way I tend to think that just the fact that you wonder makes things probable (as people say, you know it when you feel it, so if you don't know, there is a high probability that you don't feel romantic attraction). Demisexuality is define by the fact you can feel sexual attraction only after creating à bond with a person. So if your sexual attraction is always secondaire, you might be demi, or at least somewhere in the ace spectrum. Hope it helped !

Nano is a good for motivation. Impression that you trier though you didn't write fiction before. I have passe the point of 10 000 words but I don't think I'll finish it this year. First because I don't have enough with 50 000 words, second because I can't help but wanting to go back because I'm not satisfied.

Yes, this. I even think that about dating in high school.