yeshomonoromo

I have a contradictory thing where while I am aromantic allosexual, I don't have a look that can provide sex to people. It seems like I only receive sex but never give because I am too ugly.

If only it was that easy.

Exactly. A lot of the self-proclaimed "intersectional feminists" sound like TERFs, but only towards trans females. They love trans boys and how they wear binders and how they are masc as hell and so smol. The radfems haven't directly called me a sexual abuser, I just feel about myself that way because childhood guardians called me a bad person a lot. But people treat sexual harassment and rape with such caution I naturally started getting afraid of who will I become. Based on how nicely and with cake they treat AFAB people and romantic asexuals, I figured out that there is no place for opposites in their community.

Oh don't even say. This is partially how I got sucked into alt-right conservatism. Since I am transfeminine, and "sex machine" as I said on myself, the left and the feminists don't really like me. So I decided to band with the right because even though the right hates me also, hating left together would be more powerful. Eventually I gave up on politics.

I have this internalized arophobia probably, but anyway. Society values sex as something more forbidden than romance. So an aromantic allosexual person will dismiss the romantic part of other people, and cut straight to sex. To many other people, this seems like being a privileged sex machine, or being a hottie. As if aro-allos get everything sexy handed to them on a plate. Asexual people constantly talk about how sex is overrepresented, so therefore aromantic allosexuals feast on all this representation?

In LGBT++ community, being asexual is seen as kinda a virtue. There is this treatment of asexual people as if they are constantly having sex shoved down their throats by this sexnormative world, and that asexual people are precious little beans that can never sexually harass anyone, only get harassed by others. With all the talks about "consent" and "harassment", it is easy for asexuals to take the "innocent" stand. Also feminists hate femininity, or despise it. They perceive feminine women as "confoming to patriarchy", and therefore as a trans woman, I conform to patriarchy simply by existing. Not only that, there is also a view by like, 100% of people that trans women just want to gain access to being women instead of actually being women. Like "man dressed up following into women's bathroom". So I am basically a creep just by existing, in intersectionality's terms. Also I experienced childhood sexual abuse, and also got told that I am "bad", "dangerous", "retarded", etc. This is due to neurodivergence, since I couldn't conform to society's rules. Combine the two, and I perceive myself as a sexual abuser. Since bullying by different people was common in my childhood, including victims themselves, I have it internalized that since I was sexually abused, there is also a high probability that I am a sexual abuser myself, when I respect consent and know that this is not true. But I need some kind of label, or a card so I can feel like a normal person instead of a creep. Being asexual gives exactly this, while being a transfeminine aromantic allosexual makes it worse.