nonmerci

Saying like this, I finally understand why anti-romantic person can be considered aro and not allo even if they feel romantic attraction. Thanks.

I think QPR can be sexual too. And I Don't think squishes and QPRs are just for aros. In particular if we think about it as an attraction. Maybe for allo, it is melted with the romantic one : they confused romantic and sexual attraction, so they can confused romantic and platonic too I guess. Plus, a lot of aros said they mistaken their squishes for crushes before knowing about aromanticism. It must be even more complicated for allos to differenciate the two attractions. That's just an hypothesis as I'm not familiar with Tumblr, but could it be link to the idea that squishes is an aro thing? It was built by opposition to crushes, and as a part of the aro Identity. Now, if we admit that it is an attraction, there is no good reason to believe that allos can't feel it. So it would be like taking away from the community a very important component. But I kinda think it is useful as an orientation or identity. At least for me, the concept of greyplatonism is helping me (what I consider grey-crushes could be grey-squishes, and that makes more sense to me).

I think I'm not the only one who says I'm aro even if I'm arospec, to simplify, in particular when I speak to allo, or when it is not useful to be more specific. As people insist that aromanticism is a spectrum, I always assume that we speak of the whole spectrum, except if there is a reason to not believe so.

@Coyote maybe I maybe using the term "platonic" as something more specific than other, but for me it's more than "just want to become friends", I understanding it as an attraction that leads people to want a QPR relationship. And I see QPR as a not romantic couple so...

I don't think so, it seems to be it's own thing.

9 persons replied to the topic, but 16 responded to the poll. Of course it can be representative, but maybe more will answer reply later.

So true! I enjoy when characters final ly get their first kiss in fiction, but in real life... nope, the idea of someone kiss in me sounds disgusting. For this list of terms, I just take it as something for fun, not something we are suppose to use.

I thought aromantic as "someone who fits in the aromantic spectrum"

Basically what my mum says. Though it was more in a praticable way. "If you have a heart attack alone at home, how would you do? If you are sick?". Also funny things with my mum, she completely misunderstood the term. In my country we have the Pacs, a contract between two person who want to organize their life together. It was create mostly for people of the same sexe when their marriage wasn't allowed for them, but everybody can use it. So when I say to my mother "I'm aro, I won't get married", she answered "you want a Pacs?". And when I explain she gave me the classicisme "you will be alone". Fortunately, some people reacted better (they were more indifferent).

I don't think squishes is lin to aromanticism, it's just a different kind of attraction. So I don't see why they won't.

I think the way Mark use it is more intuitive, as it links to the definition of aromantic or asexual. Plus I suppose that the needing of formons platonic bond is lin to platonic attraction?

I don't think this is just a hobby. I think we are in a era, in particular in anglo-saxon country, when it is all about "communities" or "finding your identity name". And if the word or the community you find doesn't fit 100% of your experience, you want a new term.

I don't really understand what's wrong with the actual definition ? I'm not familiar with all this debates, and except maybe lithroromantic, I don't see what arospec term don't fit into it? Can you elaborate, please?

I say I don't have squishes because I think I had only one in my entire life, or something strange that may qualifies me as a greyplatonic person but doesn't fit the definition you have here (in fact I am now questioning if I am a greyro aplatonic or an aro greyplatonic... my, identity is so complicated). Anyway thanks for this, I think we need it.

The thing is : visibility is nothing without education. And when you come out as aro, you also have to explain what the word mean. I made that expérience twice recently. First with someone who thought it meant that you don't like romantic things (meaning flowers, wedding, etc; I don't know if it has the same méningite on English). I didn't explain to her because I didn't know her enough, and I was too bus agreeing with her while she was saying marriage should be seen as a contract instead of a romantic thing ?. Second time it was with my mother, who didn't understand either. Here I explain, and she gave me the speech about "you're gonna be alone, who will take care of you" (not in a romantic sense, more about if I get ill or whatever). And my mother is the understanding person in the family. All this to say : coming out for visibility is good, but only if you are ready to face ignorance.

That's how I always interpreted the term QPR, but I then discover that there is a tone of ways to understand it.

That's why I compared that to how aro felt about the ace community. Now talking about QPR is totally ok; but the way it is done by some people (not all) is problematic.

Yes but isn't the point of it that it's not a romantic relationship? So use the word romantic sounds wrong (even if some people seems to use it as a substitute, and that they building the same kind of hierarchy, the feeling is different from what I understand). Agree. That's why I hate the concept of friendzone too. People tends to forêt that friends hop can be a goal in itself, and bring a lot of commitment too.

1. It seems that a lot of person experience it so yes 2. I experience a squish only once in my life, but I can say a big yes for that. Just because it distinguishes between attraction and desire. My squish wasn't rational, it was just seing the person and immediately want to become friends for no reason. I never talk to her but think about it for days. I even thought it was a crush before I discover aromanticism and realize their were no romantic content. For me it was very different than wanting to become friends with someone vécue he/she is interesting, or Nice, or whatever. Something irrationnel were attracting me. All this to say : though I don't use the term "platonic attraction" usually (as I said I felt only a squish in my life), I think it is a concept we need. 3. I think I kinda explain it in my previous answer. For me, attraction is irrational and is pushing you to actin a way you wouldn't if you could think normally. It's not about conscious decisions. Whereas a feeling can be rationalize (like : I llike this person because he is nice).

Actually, I think QPR and squishes is a thing in the aro community as romantic love is in the ace community. As aces insist that "we can fall in love and be in a romantic relationship", it's important for some aros to insist that they can form strong platonic bonds or a not romantic couple. Unfortunately it leads people to think that all aros feel this way.

I have not finish to look yet, but I notice that you wrote alloromatic instead of alloromantic wmin the FAQ, in the answer of the question "Are aromantics lonely without romantic relationships?" (It's written in reader with the links to the glossary) That's just a detail but I wanted to say it before I forget. By the way, with the lin to the glossary, it leads us to the top of the glossary page instead of leading us to the word we are looking for.

At 23, when I discovered what the word meant. I had signs since I'm eight but it didn't come to my mind that being aro was a thing.

As Jot-Aro Kujo said. Being aro just means you don't feel romantic attraction, or you feel it in specifical ways for more specific arospec. Feeling or not feeling squishes has nothing to do with it.

Just remember that Shakespeare was making fun of Romeo and Juliet, that it was not meant to be the ultimate love story of all time and that only you in the class know the truth.

Interesting poll! I always thought it was sad that there is no way to know how many aro are ou are not ace, as we know that 20% of aces are aros. Even if this is not official it can give an idea.