arotrash Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 No, I wouldn't consider having a platonic marriage as marriage is an institution that I find unethical and destructive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starry Sky Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Friends with (marriage) benefits!! Haha I think it'd be cool. I would have an answer when family asks me if I found someone. I wouldn't have to live alone. I'd have someone to help me with things I can't/ don't know how to do. I'd have someone to remind me that I am the all-time Mario Kart champion. Also, I'd always have someone to rely on to take care of my millions of future dogs should I be gone or something happens to me. I'd basically be married to and living with a best friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deltaX Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 It's not something I'd actively seek, but I wouldn't completely rule it out either. I'm Christian, and for me marriages takes on a very specific religious meaning that I wouldn't feel comfortable with, but I could potentially see myself getting a state marriage outside of the church to get marriage benefits if I found someone who wanted to and I felt like the benefits would be worth it. *shrugs* My ideal living situation would definitely be with totally platonic friends though, whether married or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Why not. I've been thinking about wanting to get into a queer platonic relationship, date someone who understands I don't do romance or move in with a best friend. But marriage? I kind of want to wear a pretty dress... that's not good enough of a reason to get married? Well, anyway, I don't really care if I'm going to marry that very good friend/partner as long as we're having fun and comfortable with each other. I'm worried about how I'm going to live with someone, though. But maybe it'd be like roommates. I have two of those at the moment and I think it's okay. I get a lot of alone time and I definitely want that too if I get into a QPR. But I don't want to live the rest of my life all alone eitherso some kind of partner (in crime) would be nice. Married or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hangryeowyn Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 I think it would be pretty neat if the other person was into that and understood what they were getting into. Tax benefits, you get better FAFSA help, you can share the financial burden of housing and food, you can have pizza parties whenever, always have a movie drinking game partner to beat, and in my case have a convenient sexual partner on hand! Plus, I've always wanted to have a wedding because I want to wear a pretty dress and a have big party and extort expensive appliances and home goods from all of my family and friends. The only downside I could see is other people confusing us for a romantic couple, which doesn't really matter to me. I don't really care what other people think about my personal life. Yeah, I would absolutely do this under the right circumstances! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
46odnetnin Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Yeah I'd be down for that, there are a lot of benifits to being married as Hangryeowyn said. Honestly a FWB with us actually being friends sounds fine to me, and getting married also relives the pressure from family going on about it. Then again they'd just start asking about children, which I do not ever want to have. Only downside is a little less privacy but if I'm that close with someone I don't think I'll mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 I do want to have a QPR, but I don't think I would ever really be comfortable with the idea of being married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aihpen Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Maybe. I don't really know much about what the exact benefits from marriage are, so I can't really tell if it would be worth it for me. I'm not sure if I'd like to have a qpr, but I might try it one day. I really don't know, I just know if I would marry I wouldn't have a church wedding and I wouldn't have a huge expensive party, because I'd be doing it for the benefits of marriage and not to waste money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spud Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 To be honest, thinking about it, I would enjoy either living by myself (because then I wouldn't have to worry about disturbing anyone else in my house) or living with my best friend (because they wouldn't be disturbed by me). Living by myself sounds kind of relaxing because then I don't have to worry about other people so much. But living with my friend would also be really fun because I would always have someone I really liked around. The idea sounds really exciting to me, although I doubt I would ever be able to find someone who would agree to be my "permanent roommate." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassiopeia Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Yeah, sure. Could I friend-marry like five people please? No. Seriously. I know it sounds weird an people probably have all sorts of concerns and horror stories about such marriages. But yeah, I would like to be in a consensual committed relationship with several others. I mean how would I choose? I don't want to be back in kindergarten and decide who is my bff, who gets the other half of that two parts necklace. It feels so wrong to rank the people who are truly important to me. I'm perfectly capable of having multiple friends without playing favourites. I grew up in a large family, I love being around others, so a commune style living would be ideal for me. Having one partner can be stressful, there is so much pressure, you have to be everything... Now, I don't really expect to find a QPP who loves to watch movies with me, one who into all my interests, likes to have sex, likes to play tabletop RPGs, likes to cuddle...its just unrealistic. If I'd meet this person, its great and I'd friend-marry them. But I find the hetero/allonormative expectation of that scenario being the only option quite limiting. With a larger group, its more likely that we will be financially secure, and have someone who can and likes to cook, someone who can and likes to tinker with bikes, someone who knows how to do taxes, someone who knows how to fix the internet etc. I would like to have several people to come home to, I want to have life, laughter around me, nobody is forced to do or be anything they aren't comfortable with. But the likelihood of finding a place where I could marry a group of women is quite slim so...who knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyFenton123 Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 All of Arocalypse should just stay in one giant mansion, where we eat ice cream and hang out and plot world domination Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spud Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 1 minute ago, DannyFenton123 said: All of Arocalypse should just stay in one giant mansion, where we eat ice cream and hang out and plot world domination That sounds like fun. How about we all buy a castle in New Zealand and move there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyFenton123 Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 5 minutes ago, Spud said: That sounds like fun. How about we all buy a castle in New Zealand and move there Yes! Though would we still post on forums if we're all together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spud Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 3 minutes ago, DannyFenton123 said: Yes! Though would we still post on forums if we're all together? Maybe it could be like our secret group chat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 I think we should buy our own island We could each have our own house (or share a house with a couple of people) and make a large park to hang out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spud Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 1 minute ago, Simowl said: I think we should buy our own island We could each have our own house (or share a house with a couple of people) and make a large park to hang out... We should name the island CAPSLOCKIA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 1 minute ago, Spud said: We should name the island CAPSLOCKIA. : o We could... (I'm gonna make a post in CAPSLOCKIA continuing this conversation to not derail this thread too much) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodecahedron314 Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 I'd totally be down for the massive aro world domination HQ idea. I can knit things for everyone, and I've been told I make excellent cookies. AMD I can do math. I get the impression that world domination involves a lot of math. Back to the topic at hand, platonic marriage definitely sounds like a great idea in theory, but I don't know that it would be feasible for there to be some sort of One Friend To Rule Them All, if you will--I can sort of relate to what Cassiopeia was saying with that sort of hierarchy being unnecessary, but I would probably tend more toward the side of just not getting officially married rather than having some sort of open relationship type thing. I guess what I'm envisioning is sort of like a chosen family sort of thing, or something. Occasionally I can see myself in more of a two-person platonic unit, in some sort of nebulous detached way, but perhaps more in a kind of "oh, that would be a nice idea" way than actual serious consideration. Of course, the problem with all of this is that I don't know that I could actually deal with living with another person and having that sort of permanent concrete attachment, so I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mz. Claire Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 My dream is to have a QPR and get to that person. The only problem is finding someone who will be in a QPR with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady of Song Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 This is something I've been thinking a lot about, even though I have a long way to go before it's a viable option for me. I grew up in a very traditional Christian household, and I really do want to get married someday. But I want a sexless, soft-romo relationship (because I'm ace as heck), with the primary focus as best friends who cuddle constantly and just really get along well with each other. Maybe adopt a kid or too, maybe not. But I really hope something like that works out for me someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No One Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeMorgan Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 40 minutes ago, nina said: I'm against marriage, but if it was the only way to remain in the same country with a friend - to get citizenship/visa for one of us - I'd do it in that case, and only in that case. Ah, I never thought about that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassiopeia Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 On 2016. 04. 08. at 6:49 AM, Dodecahedron314 said: I'd totally be down for the massive aro world domination HQ idea. I can knit things for everyone, and I've been told I make excellent cookies. AMD I can do math. I get the impression that world domination involves a lot of math. I absolutely can't do math, but I'll make the icecream and do the gardening (you grow whatever you want, maybe some potatoes so Spud would be happy, catnip so the cats would be happy too, flowers so the bees would be also happy... ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arotrash Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 8 hours ago, nina said: I'm against marriage, but if it was the only way to remain in the same country with a friend - to get citizenship/visa for one of us - I'd do it in that case, and only in that case. Same, tbh. That's the only way I could feel even remotely okay with marrying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 Not interested in marriage. I do take the view that governments should not discriminate. Thus any "legal perks" associated with marriage should be eliminated. On 09/04/2016 at 7:41 PM, nina said: I'm against marriage, but if it was the only way to remain in the same country with a friend - to get citizenship/visa for one of us - I'd do it in that case, and only in that case. I'd consider this as an indication that the immigration system of the country in question was broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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