Holmbo Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 I recently learned the term gold star asexual. The term "gold star asexual" refers to a hypothetical asexual person whose asexuality cannot be attributed to trauma, disability or other external factors. As I understand it it's used to joke about gatekeeping and who's considered "more authentic" (but I don't know if any the ace community also uses it seriously which if so of course I don't agree with). I thought we could use this to explore what stereotypes would go into making "the gold star aro"? It's like the "how are you a bad aromantic?" thread but the opposite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 These are really goofy strawmen of real exclusionist arguments I've seen. Must not feel any kind of romantic attraction Cannot have dated anyone in the past, or even wanted to date someone Cannot have even thought they had a crush Cannot be aplatonic, afamiliar, loveless, or similar Must be romance repulsed Must not have sex, even if they aren't asexual Those are all the ones I can think of at the moment. (Also the term "gold star asexual" references "gold star lesbian" which was really used for exclusion, and it meant "lesbian who has never slept with a man") 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 9 hours ago, Neon said: Must not feel any kind of romantic attraction Cannot have dated anyone in the past, or even wanted to date someone Cannot have even thought they had a crush Cannot be aplatonic, afamiliar, loveless, or similar Must be romance repulsed Must not have sex, even if they aren't asexual Dammit, I almost won that gold star. I'm aplatonic. Can I get me a slightly tarnished gold star sticker? A sticker with a couple of the points a little bit crumpled? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 (edited) 4 hours ago, Picklethewickle said: Dammit, I almost won that gold star. I'm aplatonic. Can I get me a slightly tarnished gold star sticker? A sticker with a couple of the points a little bit crumpled? You can have a sliver star People missing 2 get a green star People missing 3 get a blue star People missing 4 get a red star Everyone else just gets a smiley face drawn on the paper. Spoiler Edited April 22 by Neon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MondoBilby Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 16 hours ago, Neon said: These are really goofy strawmen of real exclusionist arguments I've seen. Must not feel any kind of romantic attraction Cannot have dated anyone in the past, or even wanted to date someone Cannot have even thought they had a crush Cannot be aplatonic, afamiliar, loveless, or similar Must be romance repulsed Must not have sex, even if they aren't asexual Those are all the ones I can think of at the moment. (Also the term "gold star asexual" references "gold star lesbian" which was really used for exclusion, and it meant "lesbian who has never slept with a man") Wow, I’m the most stereotypical aro there is! I get one big shiny gold star to boast to everyone 🫵😎⭐️ ( Jokes aside, I’m glad most people don’t take this seriously, everyone is equally valid :3 ) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 4 hours ago, Neon said: You can have a sliver star People missing 2 get a green star People missing 3 get a blue star People missing 4 get a red star Everyone else just gets a smiley face drawn on the paper. Yay! Thank you for my silver star. I will wear it with pride. I'm loving the ranking system. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
organs and bone Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 I gotta figure this out… (did you listen to the podcast?!?! https://soundsfakepod.buzzsprout.com/218346/14922741-ep-299-gold-star-asexuality-and-actual-asexuals?t=0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxIsCosmic Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 6 hours ago, Neon said: You can have a sliver star People missing 2 get a green star People missing 3 get a blue star People missing 4 get a red star Everyone else just gets a smiley face drawn on the paper. Hide contents I’m Demi-ro so looks like I’m getting a smiley face drawn on paper 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 3 hours ago, MondoBilby said: Wow, I’m the most stereotypical aro there is! I get one big shiny gold star to boast to everyone 🫵😎⭐️ ( Jokes aside, I’m glad most people don’t take this seriously, everyone is equally valid :3 ) I'm taking this as a challenge. I will exclude everyone on this site from the aromantic community. There's not enough space for all of us in this 100% definitely physical space (I have already been kicked out). Must have or want a QPR Cannot have or a QPR with multiple people at the same time Must have never been asked out Must be the go-to person in your friend group for romantic advice Must hate all romance in media Must not have ever done anything that can be interpreted as romantic 10 minutes ago, MaxIsCosmic said: I’m Demi-ro so looks like I’m getting a smiley face drawn on paper 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovebird Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 20 hours ago, Neon said: These are really goofy strawmen of real exclusionist arguments I've seen. Must not feel any kind of romantic attraction Cannot have dated anyone in the past, or even wanted to date someone Cannot have even thought they had a crush Cannot be aplatonic, afamiliar, loveless, or similar Must be romance repulsed Must not have sex, even if they aren't asexual Those are all the ones I can think of at the moment. (Also the term "gold star asexual" references "gold star lesbian" which was really used for exclusion, and it meant "lesbian who has never slept with a man") Failed all of the above lmao. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MondoBilby Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 3 hours ago, Neon said: I'm taking this as a challenge. I will exclude everyone on this site from the aromantic community. There's not enough space for all of us in this 100% definitely physical space (I have already been kicked out). Must have or want a QPR Cannot have or a QPR with multiple people at the same time Must have never been asked out Must be the go-to person in your friend group for romantic advice Must hate all romance in media Must not have ever done anything that can be interpreted as romantic Awww man, I would’ve still gotten that gold star if the first two points about QPRs weren’t there 😔 So close Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mult Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 8 hours ago, Neon said: Must have never been asked out Ngl I wish this were true about me. 😶 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 12 hours ago, Neon said: Must have or want a QPR Cannot have or a QPR with multiple people at the same time Must have never been asked out Must be the go-to person in your friend group for romantic advice Must hate all romance in media Must not have ever done anything that can be interpreted as romantic Welp, I've been kicked out. I have never had and have never wanted a qpr. I will get my revenge. I will start interpreting the most random nonsense as romantic in other people, and get you all kicked out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 14 hours ago, Lovebird said: Failed all of the above lmao. I would draw another smiley face, but the last one was way bigger than I thought it would be so you just get one in spirit. 11 hours ago, MondoBilby said: Awww man, I would’ve still gotten that gold star if the first two points about QPRs weren’t there 😔 So close 2 hours ago, Picklethewickle said: Welp, I've been kicked out. I have never had and have never wanted a qpr. I will get my revenge. I will start interpreting the most random nonsense as romantic in other people, and get you all kicked out. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I have done it. Join me in (for me, self imposed lmao) exclusion!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Newest Fabled Creature Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 On 4/22/2024 at 2:34 AM, Neon said: These are really goofy strawmen of real exclusionist arguments I've seen. Must not feel any kind of romantic attraction Cannot have dated anyone in the past, or even wanted to date someone Cannot have even thought they had a crush Cannot be aplatonic, afamiliar, loveless, or similar Must be romance repulsed Must not have sex, even if they aren't asexual Those are all the ones I can think of at the moment. (Also the term "gold star asexual" references "gold star lesbian" which was really used for exclusion, and it meant "lesbian who has never slept with a man") Yeah, I would not have made for a "gold star aro" since I technically dated someone in a QPR before, thought I had crushes when I was younger, am loveless, and I'm not really romance-repulsed at all. 16 hours ago, Neon said: I'm taking this as a challenge. I will exclude everyone on this site from the aromantic community. There's not enough space for all of us in this 100% definitely physical space (I have already been kicked out). Must have or want a QPR Cannot have or a QPR with multiple people at the same time Must have never been asked out Must be the go-to person in your friend group for romantic advice Must hate all romance in media Must not have ever done anything that can be interpreted as romantic I fail this version too, lmao I fail the whole entire list 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 8 hours ago, Neon said: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I have done it. Join me in (for me, self imposed lmao) exclusion!!! We'll form an evil team and get everyone kicked out. We'll make up new gold-star rules and change them all the time so that everyone is scrambling to figure out if they fit into the club or not. We'll turn everyone against each other in a competition over rank. New rules, subject to change: Must love frogs. Must not love love frogs. No looking for your enchanted prince in the frog pond. Must wear green every day. Must do the secret aromantic dance for each day you wear the wrong shade of green. (Only true aromantics know the secret aromantic dance. If you don't know the dance, you aren't aromantic.) Must not mistakenly do the secret asexual dance, even if you are also asexual. (Disclaimer: If you are asexual or aroace, and fail to do the secret asexual dance for every day you forget to wear purple, you are no longer asexual.) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxIsCosmic Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 23 hours ago, Lovebird said: Failed all of the above lmao. Welcome to the Smiley face on paper club! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allhailtheglowcloud Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 4 hours ago, Picklethewickle said: Must not mistakenly do the secret asexual dance, even if you are also asexual. Are the dances similar enough to be mistaken for each other? Because if so, were the creators conspiring with each other? If that's true, I think that's very fun. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 11 hours ago, allhailtheglowcloud said: Are the dances similar enough to be mistaken for each other? Because if so, were the creators conspiring with each other? If that's true, I think that's very fun. I see someone is trying to garner information on the secret dances. Very sneaky. Revealing the secret dances gets you automatically kicked out of the Aromantics clubs, so I can't help you. Sorry. (The rule still holds even if you are already kicked out. They can kick you out more than once, you know.) What I will say is that certain conspiracy theories are based on truth. Is this one of them? Is this the reason why people confuse aromanticism and asexuality? I've said too much already. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P4R4D0X Posted Sunday at 02:02 AM Share Posted Sunday at 02:02 AM On 4/22/2024 at 11:02 PM, Neon said: Must not have ever done anything that can be interpreted as romantic In the situation it was done in or not? Cuz anything can be romantic in the right context. With all of the rules here should we redo the ranking system? Idea: Gold star: Follow every rule. Silver star: Does not follow 1, 2, or 3 rules. Green star: Does not follow 4, 5, or 6 rules. Blue star: Does not follow 7, 8, or 9 rules. Red star: Does not follow 10, 11, or 12 rules. Smiley face: Does not follow 13 or more rules. By the original logic I'm a green star. By this logic I'm a silver star. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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