Why do parents think everyone has a crush on you?

[Bellu]

Let me introduce my friends real

Quick

Like 6 lesbians 

A gay guy

5 straight guys 

And a mix of other incompatible people

My mom doesn't know this of course but every single time she meets any of my (female obviously)

Friends or hears about a girl from school she does that "oh do you like her?" Thing or if she meets them she says "that girl has a crush on you I guarantee it" usually makeingneye contact and saying "she's a lesbian" works (it doesn't have to be true)

Anyway why do parents do that?

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

I think this might just be a your parents thing. My parents never did that.

[hemogoblin]

My mother has many flaws, but this was never one of them. I would guess your mom does it because she's super into amatonormativity and has dreamed of getting to see you date and get married off since before she ever even had you. Sorry. Sounds pretty annoying to cope with.

Edited October 13, 2023 by hemogoblin

[DeltaAro]

On 10/13/2023 at 1:05 PM, Bellu said:

Anyway why do parents do that?

Funny, my parents never did that. But other relatives like my sister.

Possible explanations:

• It's wishful thinking because they want you to be in a relationship 💒.
• It's a sort of teasing. They find it funny to hear your denials 🤗.
• It's a compliment. Some alloromantics like to feel desirable by having many people who crush 💌 on them.

[SkyTuneRein]

It's wishful thinking. 😸

[Bellu]

On 10/13/2023 at 7:25 PM, hemogoblin said:

My mother has many flaws, but this was never one of them. I would guess your mom does it because she's super into amatonormativity and has dreamed of getting to see you date and get married off since before she ever even had you. Sorry. Sounds pretty annoying to cope with.

okay thats 3rd comment telling me my parents are the onlys ones who do this

i gues this is just a me thing

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

My mother has often made comments about several guys I know and she'd often make this face of "~oooh, you like them?~" and pry about my feelings towards them; even when I bring up girls she'd also ask that same question (granted I was in a qpr with a gal friend of mine at some point, but I didn't tell my mom that). Until recently, where I told her that I don't think I'd ever want a relationship like that, which she was surprisingly not oh-that'll-change-in-the-future, she'd just keep on asking and asking.

Thinking of it on a larger scale in my country, America (and maybe some other people on this topic that also live in America could relate??), anything physical or any admiration of another person, is taken as either sexual interest or romantic interest, all the damn time. We're a touch starved country with heavy pedestals on relationships.

[Keith]

I don't know your mom, but from what I've read and saw (since my parents - thankfully - don't do that) (probably because I only have female friends and I'm AFAB) it seems like she wants you to be in a romantic relationship, because she thinks it's what people should do.

[Helion]

On 10/13/2023 at 1:05 PM, Bellu said:

Let me introduce my friends real

Quick

Like 6 lesbians 

A gay guy

5 straight guys 

And a mix of other incompatible people

My mom doesn't know this of course but every single time she meets any of my (female obviously)

Friends or hears about a girl from school she does that "oh do you like her?" Thing or if she meets them she says "that girl has a crush on you I guarantee it" usually makeingneye contact and saying "she's a lesbian" works (it doesn't have to be true)

Anyway why do parents do that?

Oh god my mom is a major offender of this "mom thing". I'm female and the vast majority of my friends are male. For every single darn one of my male friends she knows about she seperately asked "Do you have a crush on him?", "Does he have a crush on you?", "Did you kiss????" and it got on my nerves tbh, even if it's mostly funny in hindsight.

To my mom it has always been very important that I do not have any boyfriends until I'm like, idk 7582 years old or something, which was why she was nagging me so much. Welp, would have loved to just tell her I'm aro and that she had nothing to worry about, but she wouldn't have reacted well to it at all sadly.

[frutiger aro]

my mom does that too sometimes and it lowkey drives me nuts. if i so much as bring up a guy's name she'll ask "is he cute?" or "maybe he likes you!". i've also had times where we were out shopping or whatever and she'll tell me "i think that guy over there's checking you out!" to which i have to hide my sheer dread lol.

it's funny to me because

1. she's greatly overestimating how many people would find me attractive, and

2. even if they did, she knows i ain't into romance. wishful thinking is one hell of a drug i guess lmao.

[TrueEvergreen]

My mom has done this a few times, it doesn't help that most of my friends are female, (even though most don't like guys), and i am still not out as agender so i am male to the outside world. 

[Bellu]

im sorry your moms not supportive :(

very relatable

ik

On 10/19/2023 at 3:53 PM, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

My mother has often made comments about several guys I know and she'd often make this face of "~oooh, you like them?~" and pry about my feelings towards them; even when I bring up girls she'd also ask that same question (granted I was in a qpr with a gal friend of mine at some point, but I didn't tell my mom that). Until recently, where I told her that I don't think I'd ever want a relationship like that, which she was surprisingly not oh-that'll-change-in-the-future, she'd just keep on asking and asking.

Thinking of it on a larger scale in my country, America (and maybe some other people on this topic that also live in America could relate??), anything physical or any admiration of another person, is taken as either sexual interest or romantic interest, all the damn time. We're a touch starved country with heavy pedestals on relationships.

haha

[roboticanary]

I think in the case of my parents it was more a fairly reasonable attitude that a lot of young lads are genuinely nervous about talking about romance and that sort of thing, especially in early teens. so they took a kind of relaxed, almost joking, 'ooh, you like her do you' sort of attitude to in a way normalise that.

annoying for reasons at the time i didnt know, but looking back i see what they were getting at. it was an attempt to make me see that those romantic feelings (which i was supposed to be feeling gods damnit) were something that could be joked about.  not sure its a very good way of doing that but i think i understand a bit more of what the thought process was.

and from what i gather it is very funny for a parent to make a normally boisterous teenage son go all shy and blushing. there does seem to be an attitude where i'm from that it is allmost a right of passage into young adulthood for your parents to try to embarrass you in amusing ways.