What’s the best/worst response you’ve gotten to coming out?

[MondoBilby]

I haven't come out to too many people, but the best responses I've gotten were from my parents (especially my dad).

My mum was quite relieved to hear it, she basically just said "That's good, you and I won't have to deal with any romance drama you could've had" lol.

And my dad went on an Ebay shopping spree to buy me a bunch of pride flags and stickers and stuff. I never asked for anything, he just spontaneously bought a whole bunch of crap which was sweet (and funny).

 

[Ekaterina]

56 minutes ago, MondoBilby said:

I haven't come out to too many people, but the best responses I've gotten were from my parents (especially my dad).

My mum was quite relieved to hear it, she basically just said "That's good, you and I won't have to deal with any romance drama you could've had" lol.

And my dad went on an Ebay shopping spree to buy me a bunch of pride flags and stickers and stuff. I never asked for anything, he just spontaneously bought a whole bunch of crap which was sweet (and funny).

 

Sounds lovely! 

[A_Mess]

I've only really "come out" to one person directly and I don't even remember what their immediate response was because I had dropped it in the middle of another semi-related conversation with an "i think" attached to it. But their response since then has been nice and kind of makes me think of that "He a little confused, but he got the spirit" meme. They've been very supportive in kind of odd ways but it's appreciated lol.

Most recently, we had a conversation where they reached out to ask me what a QPR was and I did my best to explain it. I don't think they really "got" it but they respect it. And I guess to show solidarity they suggested that I start my "QPR hoe era". 🤣

[smac n cheese]

best reaction "thank goodness, I don't have to keep you from getting a boy/girlfriend!" -my dad

worst reaction "just wait until college" -my friend (she did support eventually)

Edited February 17, 2024 by smac n cheese

[TheSpaceArrow]

The worst initial response I've gotten when I said I'm lgbtq+ in general is my mom not talking to me for two weeks. Just. Stopped acknowledging my presence. Being aro I guess she's ok with since that means I won't be dating anyone, but she doesn't like the affiliation to the lgbtq+ community.

The best, other than my queer friends being supportive, was by a very nice classmate I've known for years. He seems to be your confused but supportive straight guy. But a while ago I mentioned in our French class that "I don't experience romantic love, but platonic bonds are important to me". Note that I did not use the aromantic label because it was in French class and I don't know the word for that. Also, I wanted to keep it a little more subtle instead of screaming "I'm LGBT". But then the very next day, the very nice classmate and I were having a conversation and he said casually, "So, since you're aro, you've probably experienced this differently, but..." and I don't remember what we were talking about, but I remember the pure joy I felt that this dude knew I was aro without me having to give him a huge powerpoint presentation. He's always been one of my favorite people, despite us not being very close, but this only made me like him more. Like, he used that brain for three seconds and realized, "Ohhh, she's aro". And he made sure he mentioned the aromantic label specifically so that I can feel visible/validated. Why can't more people be like this? It takes no more than ten seconds of thought and possibly a couple of google searches. Instead of me having to exhaust myself trying to explain my identity for the tenth time that week.

Hella green flag, his girlfriend is lucky fr.

Edited February 18, 2024 by Lei

[P4R4D0X]

Once I somehow jumpstarted a convo about prom, and how annoying it is, and how much we hate it even though we have never attended prom before and have only heard about it from movies and such lol.

[smac n cheese]

1 hour ago, N1GHTM4R3 said:

Once I somehow jumpstarted a convo about prom, and how annoying it is, and how much we hate it even though we have never attended prom before and have only heard about it from movies and such lol.

I mean... cartoon episode such as "Enchanting Grom Fight" from The Owl House and "Princess Prom" from She-Ra sold me on proms, but if there's no fantasy violence, betrayals, and the begining of queer love stories (involving other people, of course),nahhhhhhhhh, I'll just stay home 

Edited February 26, 2024 by smac n cheese

[P4R4D0X]

23 minutes ago, smac n cheese said:

I mean... cartoon episode such as "Enchanting Grom Fight" from The Owl House and "Princess Prom" from She-Ra sold me on proms, but if there's no fantasy violence, betrayals, and the begining of queer love stories (involving other people, of course),nahhhhhhhhh, I'll just stay home 

Nice. 

[smac n cheese]

Most of my classmates are obsessed with watching Mean Girls and other 2000s movies, but me?

queer fantasy cartoons with traumatized characters are my life 

[P4R4D0X]

I actually didn't have a tv for most of my life, so that sucks, but somehow I got myself into illustrating my friend's book, so that's pretty great.

[kira-]

i hvnt rly came out to many ppl irl, but 2nd time i did to sm1 they told me “i was too young to know” which hurt especially bc they were bi and funny bc i was older than them. the best time was prob the first person i told bc they were accepting despite not knowing the term and it helped them realize they were aroace too.

Edited February 26, 2024 by kira-

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

On 2/12/2024 at 5:58 AM, MondoBilby said:

I haven't come out to too many people, but the best responses I've gotten were from my parents (especially my dad).

My mum was quite relieved to hear it, she basically just said "That's good, you and I won't have to deal with any romance drama you could've had" lol.

And my dad went on an Ebay shopping spree to buy me a bunch of pride flags and stickers and stuff. I never asked for anything, he just spontaneously bought a whole bunch of crap which was sweet (and funny).

 

That sounds awesome as fuck!

On 2/18/2024 at 2:38 AM, Leistorm said:

The worst initial response I've gotten when I said I'm lgbtq+ in general is my mom not talking to me for two weeks. Just. Stopped acknowledging my presence. Being aro I guess she's ok with since that means I won't be dating anyone, but she doesn't like the affiliation to the lgbtq+ community.

The best, other than my queer friends being supportive, was by a very nice classmate I've known for years. He seems to be your confused but supportive straight guy. But a while ago I mentioned in our French class that "I don't experience romantic love, but platonic bonds are important to me". Note that I did not use the aromantic label because it was in French class and I don't know the word for that. Also, I wanted to keep it a little more subtle instead of screaming "I'm LGBT". But then the very next day, the very nice classmate and I were having a conversation and he said casually, "So, since you're aro, you've probably experienced this differently, but..." and I don't remember what we were talking about, but I remember the pure joy I felt that this dude knew I was aro without me having to give him a huge powerpoint presentation. He's always been one of my favorite people, despite us not being very close, but this only made me like him more. Like, he used that brain for three seconds and realized, "Ohhh, she's aro". And he made sure he mentioned the aromantic label specifically so that I can feel visible/validated. Why can't more people be like this? It takes no more than ten seconds of thought and possibly a couple of google searches. Instead of me having to exhaust myself trying to explain my identity for the tenth time that week.

Hella green flag, his girlfriend is lucky fr.

I'm sorry that your mom reacted like that, but I love your classmate for going out of his way for you to be validated. I love it when people can surprise us like that, whether they look up what you describe online and find the identity, or they already knew it from the get-go.

Edited May 7, 2024 by The Newest Fabled Creature

[Ka_tie]

I think the worst response I got was from a friend I was trying to come out to and they said "how are you going to be happy then" and also said "your young so of course you don't know what love is cause you haven't found the right person yet, give it time". It felt very demeaning to me overall. 

[allhailtheglowcloud]

Best: my dad went and researched it and asked me a bunch of questions and made an effort to educate himself about it which was amazing

Worst: My younger brother made a joke about robots and straight up told me that I wasn't aro and then a few days later told me that I would want to do romance stuff in a few years anyway (he accepts it now which is good, though)

Edited April 5, 2024 by allhailtheglowcloud

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I guess the best reaction I got (from my siblings) was: Makes sense.

[blue51]

The best response was when I came out to my friends by telling them during aromantic awareness week. one of them said "I am unaware of you. I have never seen you before" and I thought that was pretty funny :)

I have not told anyone else I am aromantic, but I did make another friend and I might try telling her sometime when I see her next

[TrueEvergreen]

Ive already responded to this but now I have more than one reaction so I'll redo it

Best: Someone literally just responded "me too," I was genuinely shocked but stiil the best reaction

Worst: I ended up having to explain for like an hour what being aroace meant... so that sucked

[arodime]

haven't come out much verbally, only once actually and got an opinionated rant about my hormones being wrong from a person who I thought was queer (from a coming out decades ago, but might now identify different), safe and supporting. they did apologize, but it has brought the outing project to a halt. I do express more through clothing etc though and read aro ace books that can be seen by others. I was always a proud single though. positive experiences I had online and they have still helped me a lot.

Edited May 13, 2024 by arodime

[TheSpaceArrow]

On 5/10/2024 at 8:57 PM, arodime said:

haven't come out much verbally, only once actually and got an opinionated rant about my hormones being wrong from a person who I thought was queer, safe and supporting. they did apologize, but it has brought the outing project to a halt. I do express more through clothing etc though and read aro ace books that can be seen by others. I was always a proud single though. positive experiences I had online and they have still helped me a lot.

It's so annoying when other queer people invalidate us like that because we're supposed to be on the same team. I've never had that happen to me because in my school's GSA, half the people there are aspec and I know a lot of aspecs in general. 

"hormone problems" bruh that's so dumb

[Guest]

The best response would just be them acknowledging it as just another fact about me as an individual.

The worst are the ones that target arospec, such as “but doesn’t this person make you happy?” (Desinoromantic), or “but you enjoyed xyz media with romance in it!” (As if it was the only thing defining the media), “so you hate me?” (Asked by people who had crushes on me), and the absolute worst is “Yeah, but it might change in the future.” Why is the possibility that someone’s orientation (flux) may or may not change over time brought up when the matter of fact is the present? Not invalidating the flux orientations, but the way they brought it up seems like wishful thinking from their part as in them wishing I wasn’t aro.

[Ray0May0]

The only person I first came out to was my "ex" His response wasn't what I thought it was going to be, I mean I didn't know what to expect but thinking back to that day, I felt like I was being guilt-tripped for being aromantic. Because they.. I don't know it's just that one thing he said: "So we're u telling me that u didn't even love me". but the crazy thing is I believe I knew I was probably aromantic before after watching Heartstopper but I was too scared to admit it? I was indecisive at the time and still am. But I don't half of me did feel guilty because how did I not know.? The main thing is I confused strong platonic attraction with love a lot and it has shown. But coming out to my friends online wasn't half bad. But leaning more into the future I don't think personally I have to come out to anyone, Unless they're someone I deeply care about on a platonic level.

Edited September 25, 2024 by Ray0May0

[Dandicus Dancifer]

On 12/6/2022 at 3:05 PM, whatistheromance said:

Title, you can include best, worst, or both.

"You're just confused," "You're being influenced by your peers," "You're too young." All classic unoriginal reactions to me coming out.

[MulticulturalFarmer]

On 5/10/2024 at 10:57 PM, arodime said:

haven't come out much verbally, only once actually and got an opinionated rant about my hormones being wrong from a person who I thought was queer (from a coming out decades ago, but might now identify different), safe and supporting. they did apologize, but it has brought the outing project to a halt. I do express more through clothing etc though and read aro ace books that can be seen by others. I was always a proud single though. positive experiences I had online and they have still helped me a lot.

What does that even mean, hormones being wrong? Sorry, just trying to understand what you mean?

[tiger_hoods12]

Personally, I consider this more funny than anything but,…

Me: “So, I’m aromantic.”

Them: “Cool, I’m a romantic too.”

It took a while for me to explain and for them to catch on.

[MulticulturalFarmer]

On 10/17/2024 at 8:26 PM, tiger_hoods12 said:

Personally, I consider this more funny than anything but,…

Me: “So, I’m aromantic.”

Them: “Cool, I’m a romantic too.”

It took a while for me to explain and for them to catch on.

That reminds me of how my original iPod touch would react when I typed in "aromantic", it kept auto correction to "a romantic"