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What’s the best/worst response you’ve gotten to coming out?


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I haven't come out to too many people, but the best responses I've gotten were from my parents (especially my dad).

My mum was quite relieved to hear it, she basically just said "That's good, you and I won't have to deal with any romance drama you could've had" lol.

And my dad went on an Ebay shopping spree to buy me a bunch of pride flags and stickers and stuff. I never asked for anything, he just spontaneously bought a whole bunch of crap which was sweet (and funny).

 

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56 minutes ago, MondoBilby said:

I haven't come out to too many people, but the best responses I've gotten were from my parents (especially my dad).

My mum was quite relieved to hear it, she basically just said "That's good, you and I won't have to deal with any romance drama you could've had" lol.

And my dad went on an Ebay shopping spree to buy me a bunch of pride flags and stickers and stuff. I never asked for anything, he just spontaneously bought a whole bunch of crap which was sweet (and funny).

 

Sounds lovely! 

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I've only really "come out" to one person directly and I don't even remember what their immediate response was because I had dropped it in the middle of another semi-related conversation with an "i think" attached to it. But their response since then has been nice and kind of makes me think of that "He a little confused, but he got the spirit" meme. They've been very supportive in kind of odd ways but it's appreciated lol.

Most recently, we had a conversation where they reached out to ask me what a QPR was and I did my best to explain it. I don't think they really "got" it but they respect it. And I guess to show solidarity they suggested that I start my "QPR hoe era". 🤣

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best reaction "thank goodness, I don't have to keep you from getting a boy/girlfriend!" -my dad

worst reaction "just wait until college" -my friend (she did support eventually)

Edited by smac n cheese
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The worst initial response I've gotten when I said I'm lgbtq+ in general is my mom not talking to me for two weeks. Just. Stopped acknowledging my presence. Being aro I guess she's ok with since that means I won't be dating anyone, but she doesn't like the affiliation to the lgbtq+ community.

The best, other than my queer friends being supportive, was by a very nice classmate I've known for years. He seems to be your confused but supportive straight guy. But a while ago I mentioned in our French class that "I don't experience romantic love, but platonic bonds are important to me". Note that I did not use the aromantic label because it was in French class and I don't know the word for that. Also, I wanted to keep it a little more subtle instead of screaming "I'm LGBT". But then the very next day, the very nice classmate and I were having a conversation and he said casually, "So, since you're aro, you've probably experienced this differently, but..." and I don't remember what we were talking about, but I remember the pure joy I felt that this dude knew I was aro without me having to give him a huge powerpoint presentation. He's always been one of my favorite people, despite us not being very close, but this only made me like him more. Like, he used that brain for three seconds and realized, "Ohhh, she's aro". And he made sure he mentioned the aromantic label specifically so that I can feel visible/validated. Why can't more people be like this? It takes no more than ten seconds of thought and possibly a couple of google searches. Instead of me having to exhaust myself trying to explain my identity for the tenth time that week.

Hella green flag, his girlfriend is lucky fr.

Edited by Lei
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Once I somehow jumpstarted a convo about prom, and how annoying it is, and how much we hate it even though we have never attended prom before and have only heard about it from movies and such lol.

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1 hour ago, N1GHTM4R3 said:

Once I somehow jumpstarted a convo about prom, and how annoying it is, and how much we hate it even though we have never attended prom before and have only heard about it from movies and such lol.

I mean... cartoon episode such as "Enchanting Grom Fight" from The Owl House and "Princess Prom" from She-Ra sold me on proms, but if there's no fantasy violence, betrayals, and the begining of queer love stories (involving other people, of course),nahhhhhhhhh, I'll just stay home 

Edited by smac n cheese
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23 minutes ago, smac n cheese said:

I mean... cartoon episode such as "Enchanting Grom Fight" from The Owl House and "Princess Prom" from She-Ra sold me on proms, but if there's no fantasy violence, betrayals, and the begining of queer love stories (involving other people, of course),nahhhhhhhhh, I'll just stay home 

Nice. 

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I actually didn't have a tv for most of my life, so that sucks, but somehow I got myself into illustrating my friend's book, so that's pretty great.

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i hvnt rly came out to many ppl irl, but 2nd time i did to sm1 they told me “i was too young to know” which hurt especially bc they were bi and funny bc i was older than them. the best time was prob the first person i told bc they were accepting despite not knowing the term and it helped them realize they were aroace too.

Edited by kira-
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On 2/12/2024 at 5:58 AM, MondoBilby said:

I haven't come out to too many people, but the best responses I've gotten were from my parents (especially my dad).

My mum was quite relieved to hear it, she basically just said "That's good, you and I won't have to deal with any romance drama you could've had" lol.

And my dad went on an Ebay shopping spree to buy me a bunch of pride flags and stickers and stuff. I never asked for anything, he just spontaneously bought a whole bunch of crap which was sweet (and funny).

 

That sounds awesome as fuck!

On 2/18/2024 at 2:38 AM, Leistorm said:

The worst initial response I've gotten when I said I'm lgbtq+ in general is my mom not talking to me for two weeks. Just. Stopped acknowledging my presence. Being aro I guess she's ok with since that means I won't be dating anyone, but she doesn't like the affiliation to the lgbtq+ community.

The best, other than my queer friends being supportive, was by a very nice classmate I've known for years. He seems to be your confused but supportive straight guy. But a while ago I mentioned in our French class that "I don't experience romantic love, but platonic bonds are important to me". Note that I did not use the aromantic label because it was in French class and I don't know the word for that. Also, I wanted to keep it a little more subtle instead of screaming "I'm LGBT". But then the very next day, the very nice classmate and I were having a conversation and he said casually, "So, since you're aro, you've probably experienced this differently, but..." and I don't remember what we were talking about, but I remember the pure joy I felt that this dude knew I was aro without me having to give him a huge powerpoint presentation. He's always been one of my favorite people, despite us not being very close, but this only made me like him more. Like, he used that brain for three seconds and realized, "Ohhh, she's aro". And he made sure he mentioned the aromantic label specifically so that I can feel visible/validated. Why can't more people be like this? It takes no more than ten seconds of thought and possibly a couple of google searches. Instead of me having to exhaust myself trying to explain my identity for the tenth time that week.

Hella green flag, his girlfriend is lucky fr.

I'm sorry that your mom reacted like that, but I love your classmate for going out of his way for you to be validated. I love it when people can surprise us like that, whether they look up what you describe online and find the identity, or they already knew it from the get-go.

5 hours ago, kira- said:

i hvnt rly came out to many ppl irl, but 2nd time i did to sm1 they told me “i was too young to know” which hurt especially bc they were bi and i was older than them. the best time was prob the first person i told bc they were accepting despite not knowing the term and it helped them realize they were aroace too.

I have heard some of my aro-spec friends get told by other queer people before that they should, "Wait a bit longer to know for sure," or "They're too young to write off love," or "You're too young to know in general." All of which is bullshit, but a punk friend of mine who is aro-spec had someone who was queer say something along those lines to him, and he told them that "they're still too young to know they're not straight." Yeah, that's kind of reaching down to the arophobe's level, but at the same time he was the kind of person to immediately talk shit back without meaning to, and it did shut the person up.

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  • 1 month later...

I think the worst response I got was from a friend I was trying to come out to and they said "how are you going to be happy then" and also said "your young so of course you don't know what love is cause you haven't found the right person yet, give it time". It felt very demeaning to me overall. 

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Best: my dad went and researched it and asked me a bunch of questions and made an effort to educate himself about it which was amazing

Worst: My younger brother made a joke about robots and straight up told me that I wasn't aro and then a few days later told me that I would want to do romance stuff in a few years anyway (he accepts it now which is good, though)

Edited by allhailtheglowcloud
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