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What’s the best/worst response you’ve gotten to coming out?


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I haven't come out to many people irl (I very rarely will come out formally, I usually just wait for it or other pride stuff to come up and I'll say it then if necessary), but when I have... I think the best response I've had is "me too!" and the worst is "wait... so you won't get MARRIED?????"

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31 minutes ago, AromanticAardvark said:

I haven't come out to many people irl (I very rarely will come out formally, I usually just wait for it or other pride stuff to come up and I'll say it then if necessary), but when I have... I think the best response I've had is "me too!" and the worst is "wait... so you won't get MARRIED?????"

If I "come out" to someone, it's usually a friend asking what the flag on my pfp means, I tell them to google it then run away before they can react

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my worst which really wasn't that bad partly happened at school and the rest happened in discord dms: In school there was conversation and then somehow I ended up telling him I'm not straight.Then when I got home I messaged him saying i'm aroace and if you don't know what it is google it he replied with something like ok cool which was fine.Then later he said it's kinda weird. i think its just because its not talked about so yeah i guess.Then recently somehow people were talking about like attraction,dating,etc. And he kept saying I was going to be attracted to someone in the future and i was going to do things with them. It was kinda shitty and invalidating but oh well. he's also the only straight person i'm out to so i guess he's trying his best.

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One of the funnier coming out experiences I've had was when I came out to my Mom's best friend.  She said, "You came out to me already."

Apparently I forgot.  xDDDDD

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Not necessarily a good or bad experience, but it's my only one. I forgot that my phone lockscreen was aroace themed, and one of my friend saw it then put the pieces together. They didn't have much of a reaction and thankfully they knew about the orientation, so they just mentioned it once and hasn't since because there hasn't been a reason to. 

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4 hours ago, Anaim said:

Not necessarily a good or bad experience, but it's my only one. I forgot that my phone lockscreen was aroace themed, and one of my friend saw it then put the pieces together. They didn't have much of a reaction and thankfully they knew about the orientation, so they just mentioned it once and hasn't since because there hasn't been a reason to. 

that's actually a very cool way to come out, because a lockscreen will only out you to people who know at least a bit about the orientations (at least enough too recognize the flags) so this does mean that you are more likely coming out to accepting people and you'll not have to explain a lot🥰

and people you might be afraid of coming out more likely don't recognize the colors


(sadly queer aro- and acephobic persons exist, but still.)

worst response: "you have a too loving/caring personality to be aro"

best response: "thank you for sharing"
 

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I’ve had a person say to me “You just haven’t found the right person yet” and then say “how do you know you don’t like it until you try it,” (mostly regards to asexuality/s3x repulsion) I responded with “how do you know that you wouldn’t like gay sex when you’ve never tried it,” and that shut them up real quick (they were straight and borderline homophobic). I then informed them the actual logistics of aromanticism and asexuality.

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idk if this counts but i told a stranger that im aroace to clarify because they thought i was gay; but i ended up getting a not so happy response. 'narcissistic mook' and that 'its a phase' to be exact. i didnt take it personally since theyre not aroace so what do they know but i hate how they just starts bearing their teeth at me while they have such an ignorant view regarding aromanticism and asexuality

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On 12/7/2022 at 2:59 AM, alto said:

One of the funnier coming out experiences I've had was when I came out to my Mom's best friend.  She said, "You came out to me already."

Apparently I forgot.  xDDDDD

Same. I come out to my friend in Poland during phone call and when she visited me I did it again

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Most positive reaction I had (twice) was acceptation and no questions asked; I don't remember but both people was young adults and knew about aro identity.

 

Worst reaction (not counted my parents as I've never used the word or explained the concept) : when I explained what aromanticism is, a coworker almost gave me a full bingo card. But as I was taking the time, I thought she was getting it... except that she concluded with "there are names for all deviancies these days". Honestly, this one is also the most original I got.

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In my case, when I first come out reactions are positive, if confused. It's later that's the problem. I've had a couple of people show through their words and actions that they either forgot my identity (even though we've talked about it multiple times) or don't believe me. They'll say stuff like "Everyone has somebody" and ship me with people. 

My favorite one though was when I came out to a friend and then he came out to me as demisexual, which was very nice. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I haven't told that many people so far that I'm on the aromantic spectrum. Not that it's a secret, it's just that I see it as a part of myself like I see my eye color or my height - I bring it up only if it's relevant to the conversation.

So far, most reactions were very positive and supportive; some a bit confused, but positive nonetheless.

I got a bit less positive one the other day: "You're an incel now?" 

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Worst (coming out as bi, which I identified with at the time, on a Christian forum) involved someone telling me they had my personal information and were debating on whether to out me to my church leaders. They said it was because I had stated that I work in children's ministry, and that I cannot be allowed to "indoctrinate" the kids.

Best was this past summer on FB, I came out publicly as a lesbian. I got lots of love and someone from my church offered me a hug next time she saw me. I didn't get any backlash from it at all. I had been so very scared, but it worked out. Last year I had come out to just one church elder, and talked to her about coming out.

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On 12/20/2022 at 6:10 AM, Collie said:

Worst (coming out as bi, which I identified with at the time, on a Christian forum) involved someone telling me they had my personal information and were debating on whether to out me to my church leaders. They said it was because I had stated that I work in children's ministry, and that I cannot be allowed to "indoctrinate" the kids.

Best was this past summer on FB, I came out publicly as a lesbian. I got lots of love and someone from my church offered me a hug next time she saw me. I didn't get any backlash from it at all. I had been so very scared, but it worked out. Last year I had come out to just one church elder, and talked to her about coming out.

Interesting how different two churches can be, when it comes to sexualities that involve attraction to the same-sex. Out of curiosity, if you do not mind, how would your church react if you had come out to them as bisexual?
How would react to you being on the aromantic spectrum, or the asexual spectrum> Or both?

I love your profile image! It's an excellent piece of art! Traditional art, or digital art?

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On 12/23/2022 at 7:03 AM, Storm_leopardcat said:

Interesting how different two churches can be, when it comes to sexualities that involve attraction to the same-sex. Out of curiosity, if you do not mind, how would your church react if you had come out to them as bisexual?
How would react to you being on the aromantic spectrum, or the asexual spectrum> Or both?

I love your profile image! It's an excellent piece of art! Traditional art, or digital art?

I think their response to bisexuality would be about the same. Aro or ace-spec I'm not sure, I don't think it would be a negative response but there might be some confusion.

My pfp is digital art I did ^^

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My worst would be when I told my siblings and cousin. They aren't aphobic but, they kinda ignored me and said 'ok, idc'. The good thing is they are keeping it a secret.

The best was when I told my friend. Their parents are homophobic and probably aphobic too. They took it really well, I think they might be aroace too since they hate the idea of maraige and dating but I try not to push them. They are a great person though :).

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