“Love Is Love”

[ClearSkiesAhear]

Anytime I see the phrase “love is love” used for pride I always feel a bit left out, so in my head I changed it to “love is love, or lack thereof”

 

idk just wanted to share ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[AroAcedragon13]

I like it. :)

[alto]

me too

[Neon]

Ooh I like that. Mine is "love is love, and just as lovely is lack thereof"

But I feel like "lovely" is the wrong word in that context, so I kind of like your's better.

[Harvest-Unity]

Nothing inherently wrong with the phrase, however making it the front saying for queer rights was a bad idea, as it does not address trans, intersex, and yes, aro people's issues. I get why it was used though, at least during the early 2000s-2010s, its simple and easy to understand for the average cishet joe who is unfamiliar with the community, and appealed to their basic values. Its also important to remember it was often used for same-sex marriage rights, so I think the problem was less the phrase and more about the fact that many (mainstream) LGBTQ activists tend to hyperfocus on marriage. But anyways, its the 2020's now, so I think it's time we start using other phrases.

[Deltalorian]

A nice, simple change, that works brilliantly. I could never have thought of it.

[Jedi]

@HarvestI would go further and say there is nothing wrong with the phrase at all. It doesn't apply to every persons experience but it doesn't have to. It still applies. I don't think it is really necessary to have a slogan that applies equally to every member of a very broad community. As long as any form of homophobia exists, "Love is Love" belongs at pride. It doesn't necessarily mean we're excluded.

[alien]

I like it too

By the way, your profile picture is really cute

@ClearSkiesAhear

[aro_elise]

yeah i've also thought about the fact that it doesn't include queer sexual attraction (even of alloromantics), like the message is that love can't be wrong--well what if it's not love?  some people aren't even ok with straight casual dating/sex so it wouldn't be a big leap for a queer person to feel especially that acceptance depends on them being in a loving relationship.  i suppose "attraction is attraction" doesn't sound as good.

[Nix]

'Love' in tennis means 'nothing' (zero) so when you read it like that it becomes a very philosophical sentence...

[dewy]

Whenever I think of "love is love" I just think of it also being about how my love for friends, hobbies, etc, is still love and just as important as romantic love.

[aro_elise]

6 hours ago, Nix said:

'Love' in tennis means 'nothing'

i have a little decoration which says 'never date a tennis player.  to them, love means nothing.'  me being an aro tennis player, it's a many-layered joke.

[Nagito]

I was talking about it in another place and yep, it's alienating and not only for aros but also the persons who are part of the LGBTQ+ community but not because of orientation. Also, the phrase even doesn't describe why for real the community was created. How do you want to fight for equality if the only word you know to say is "love"?

[Deltalorian]

13 hours ago, Nix said:

'Love' in tennis means 'nothing' (zero) so when you read it like that it becomes a very philosophical sentence...

Then that means love is love to me

[SilenceRadio]

I've seen more complaints of the sentence than the sentence itself, though I imagine that's because I'm not that connected to the LGBT+ community to begin with.

I don't particularly like the way it feels defensive to me. As if my worth hinged on "love", and if it isn't romantic, it has to be another form of love. Like, sure, love might've been part of the reason why I consider myself not cis, but alienation from love is just as much a part of my experience.

23 hours ago, aro_elise said:

i suppose "attraction is attraction" doesn't sound as good.

To be fair, I already associate the slogan "attraction is attraction (is attraction)" with the idea that some people don't experience attraction that can be differentiated into multiple types, and that all they feel is "attraction" as one thing.

[DeltaAro]

The philosopher Daniel Dennett popularized the term deepity and gave the example: "love is just a word". A deepity is a statement that can be interpreted in two ways: as a trivial truth OR as a profound but false claim.

So is "love is love" a deepity, too?

Edited September 16, 2022 by DeltaAro

[AromanticAardvark]

I don't really like the term 'love is love' at all, tbh. I think it was necessary when we were fighting for equal marriage rights (or, the right to love the same as straight couples), but outside of that fight, I don't think it's relevant. It was good when we needed to show straight people that we were equal to them, and deserved the same rights as them, but then once we got that, I think we started to outgrow the term. Either way, I don't like the idea of the easily-marketable slogan that companies put on all their stuff during pride month to say they care about us, when really they REALLY REALLY don't.

[nonmerci]

So I thought about it a bit and I think it is an important part of the LGBT+ community, though I like the change you propose.

I just think it is weird it is the slogan as it addresses only the issues that face people who have same-sex romantic attraction. No aro of course, but also no trans rights, or about sexual rights.

So I think it is important to have this phrase, but I think a slogan about being ourself would be better to represent the community as a whole.

 

Edited December 26, 2022 by nonmerci

[Nagito]

"But you love your family and friends", bruh, I don't. And it's nothing wrong with me, wrong is using this sentence like it was applying to each queer person's experience while it's not. I'm sure they would exclude loveless aros and other queer people who don't experience love at all. I even saw some people who are excluding trans and intersex people from the community because of this stupid slogan.

[SkyTuneRein]

Ja, no complaints about it here either. But it has become as hollow as "Brexit means Brexit".