ClearSkiesAhear

Ya know that moment when you’re reading a book/watching a movie/listening to a song and romance/romantic attraction comes up and it sounds fake but then you find out it’s NOT in fact fake? And you’re like :0 I just watched the movie A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum (it’s a 60’s musical adaptation of a Roman comedy) and I’m like 70% percent sure the attraction in the movie is exaggerated for comedic purposes but I’ve also thought that about many things in the past and it turned out to be real… but no way that’s actually how attraction feels right?

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve completely misunderstood what dates are because it sounds like just two people go do fun thing together to bond and have fun and I think that aspect of romance sounds really nice and fun. Are platonic dates a thing? If they aren’t they should be. I don’t dislike the concept of marriage but I don’t want to ever get married just because of the romantic connotations society has with it (unless it’s for tax evasion purposes then I might consider it). Kissing is the one part of romance that for me is nonononono no thanks dont like that idea. Even seeing other people kiss makes me uncomfortable.

Anytime I see the phrase “love is love” used for pride I always feel a bit left out, so in my head I changed it to “love is love, or lack thereof” idk just wanted to share ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There’s this game I really like called Slime Rancher. It’s mostly just about farming cute slime aliens in space, but there’s also sort of a love story element in the form of letters Bea (the character you play as) receives from their friend/partner Casey back on earth. Casey sent the letters while Bea was asleep in hyperspace, and there’s a lot of reminiscing on fond memories and talking about missing Bea. While I was playing through the game, my take on the letters was, “Aw, I love this, it’s so sweet! They’re such good friends. There should be more of this sort of close friendship in media!” Then I finished the game and went digging around for more lore online and discovered that apparently everyone else just assumed that they were dating…. (well it’s technically never specified in the game that their relationship is romantic but that’s the general consensus of the fan base . I still prefer my queerplatonic headcanon).

I recently made a new friend and a few days ago we were talking about movies and we both agreed that usually romantic subplots are completely pointless and just annoying. And it turns out we are both AroAce, so that makes sense! I’ve met other aces before, but never met anyone else who was Aro, or even someone who knew what Aromanticism was. It was just really really cool (and happened at a good time because I was starting to feel sorta alone in my not-allo-ness). Anyway I’m really happy about this! Because some else who isn’t just words on a screen gets it! And I also have someone to make aro jokes with! I’m just really happy about this. Probably more excited than I should be? Buts that’s fine! Because it’s really cool to me!

Not at the moment (i may or may not have accidentally managed to get black sharpie all over it), but I often do wear one. Even if nobody recognizes it, it still makes me happy and that’s reason enough. Edit: upon scrolling up a bit I realized I’ve actually replied to this post a few times throughout the year because I either mistook it for a new thread on the subject or just forgot. Oops

While, yes, there are things the video could have done better, that is almost always the case. I thought this video did a quite good job of bringing awareness to Aromanticism and Asexuality. It explained it in a way that was easy to understand, funny, and informative! It was also very relatable for me, so I liked that aspect of it. I actually used this video to sort of explain being Aromantic to a parent, and it went really well.

This thread was just what I needed! Over the past week or so I’ve been sifting through “feel good” playlists trying to make my own, and wondering whats with all the romance! I have added quite a few songs to my playlist now, and may I add a few more to this thread: Way Less Sad by AJR 100 Bad Days by AJR Weatherman by Eddie Benjamin A-O-K by Tai Verdes I Like Where This Is Headed by Scrawny

Thank you for the reassurance :]

I came across the term AroAce while questioning if I was ace and this is basically what happened: Me: oh huh this aromanticism thing sounds pretty neat! It must be nice, I sorta wish I was aro. Too bad I’m alloromantic. Yep. Definitely absolutely allo :] Me: :] Me a few months later: wait a minute- I never really was interested in getting married, dating, romance books/movies/songs, or any of that. I often mistook strong platonic attraction for romantic attraction. By the time I got to middle school and saw other people getting crushes, I decided that the platonic attraction I felt to a close friend of mine of the opposite gender was obviously a crush. Then I told my friends. Then that led to drama- but luckily he did not reciprocate the “feelings” and it led to nothing. A few other similar incidences happened until I discovered the aromantic label and embraced it. I faked crushes and went along with all the pressure for from ace because I thought I was supposed to, even though I never actually wanted to date or kiss or be romantic with any of the people I supposedly had a crush on. I thought I must just be like all the protagonists who start the book not wanting to date anyone, but they always end up dating/kissing someone before the book ends. Sometimes I think if I had found even a few stories where a relationship wasn’t necessary for the “happy ending” to be complete, maybe things would have gone differently (and for this reason I am now somewhat salty towards that specific trope).

I recently 3d printed myself one with white PLA filament. It’s actually surprisingly comfortable and I really love it. I now also have 3 extra white rings that technically weren’t failures (we don’t talk about those ones) but weren’t quite good enough to call my final product.

Fellow teenager here to give my two cents on this: What might or might not happen in the future doesn’t matter. You’re never “too young” to know yourself. What matters is what feels right to you right now; labels aren’t permanent, you don’t just choose one then get stuck with it for the rest of your life. If you feel like you might be aromantic, then try it out, experiment, explore. If at the end of the day, no matter what you settle in you’ll atleast know yourself a little better.

I think it would make sense if aromantics were less affected by lookism. Aromanticis is lack of attraction (insert disclaimer about aromanticism being a spectrum), and attraction is based on looks right? Less attraction = less effect a person’s looks have on our intitial first impression of them. I don’t think aro antics are entirely immune to lookism though, because society is filled with the idea that looks matter. It is ingrained in us sort of (that doesn’t mean it’s good tho). I’m not sure I phrased that right but I hope it makes sense. I think this is a very interesting conversation and I’m also sort of curious how it relates to asexuality as well, because that is also lack of attraction (again insert disclaimer it’s a spectrum).

I got a 3d printer and I printed myself a custom aromantic ring to go with my ace ring. I love it and I’m so glad I finally have one.

In terms of a romantic relationship, I basically went “oh I don’t have to deal with that now? Nice.” (proceeds to carry on with my life) But still trying to figure out what sort of relationships I want other than romantic and with who. I tried out so many idea and did so much research, but by now I’ve sort of accepted the fact that I’ll figure it out eventually, for now I can just live. I’m just gonna go with the flow :]

So I have a friend who I want to come out to. I’m not worried about them accepting me being AroAce, I trust them more than I trust anyone else ever. The only thing stopping me is anxiety about HOW THE HECK DO I COME OUT. fun fact: both times I’ve come out to people in the past, it was a complete accident. I have no idea how to do it intentionally. How do I just casually bring up “Hey, guess what! I don’t experience sexual or romantic attraction!”? And the timing is rather unfortunate because it’s February and that stuff is on people’s mind, but I that’s also part of the reason I was to do it now. I could use some just generic advice on how I might go about this and/or how to get over the anxiety long enough to just do it. edit a few months later: I did it via spontaneous text and they were very amazing about it. Also turns out they’re also ace, so they get it.

“Pulchra” (Beautiful)

Can I recommend “Never Been In Love” by Will Jay? As far as I know the artist isn’t Aromantic but the song is about not wanting to find love and how that’s okay.

I make pride keychains out of rainbow-loom and yesterday I added aroace to my backpack! (now I have 4 in total) I really like these keychains because they’re subtle enough that people who don’t know much about LGBTQIA probably won’t notice, but they (in my experience) are really easily recognized by other queers and allies. Bonus: they’re easy to make- which is especially nice if you’re in a position if you can’t buy Pride stuff

Love this

Not yet but the minute I see a not-super-expensive white ring you can be sure I’m buying it

Instead of putting my focus into a relationship with one person (or a few, in the case of a polyamory-us relationship. Idk how to spell it) like people in romantic relationships do, I can prioritize my platonic relationships! My friends are the most important thing to me and I adore them. I love them just as much platonically as I imagine a person in a romantic relationship would love their partner romantically. Friends are amazing. Also platonic attraction (the main form of attraction I experience) is a lot easier to act on than romatic attraction, from what I can tell. You just become friends with the person and BAM: happy vibes! There’s not all the build up and tension and anxiety that seems to come with romantic attraction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also romantic attraction sounds like the stomach bug or a panic attack. Glad I dodged that bullet.

I WANNA START OUT SAYING THE SONG NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BY WILL JAY IS A MUST-LISTEN-TO FOR AROS. ITS ABOUT NOT FALLING IN LOVE AND HOW THATS NOT A BAD THING AND ITS VERY UPBEAT. I like any music. I have songs stuck in my head alll day. Not even songs I listen to regularly, just music I’ve heard (tho the ones I listen to more do get stuck in my head more). Music is one of my top 3 favorite things about life. My all time favorite love-every-song-they’ve-ever-made artist is Derivakat. I put their music on shuffle and NEVER have to skip. Some of my favorites are Honey, her cover of Stand Out, Fit in, Don’t Wanna Lose You, Finally Find You, Ain’t No Crying, Welcome Home, and Take Aim. I also like Magic Sword- they make 80s/90s style synth music and it’s really nice to listen to if I’m studying and want a nice beat in the background but don’t want to get totally sidetracked. The Score has some pretty good songs. Everything Sucks by Vault Boy is a nice feel-good song. Freaks by Jordyn Clarke makes me feel less alone. Creature by Half-Alive is just… I can’t really describe it but it’s good.

I’m playing Destiny 2 right now. Its a shooter game- which I don’t normally like- but the world design and plot line(s) are amazing, and it’s really fun when you have people to play it with. I’m lucky because I have 3 friends who are already gods at the game (in my opinion) helping me through it. Also, bonus: No forced romantic plot-lines involving your character at all even though it’s a very plot driven game. (Another game that I’m not currently playing but love is Slime Rancher. It’s very calming and the slimes are so cute. It’s my comfort game. 5 stars would definitely recommend). (Other games: Unpacking, Stardew Valley, Starwars Battle Front 1 and 2, Gang Beasts, Minecraft). Ok. Video game rant is over now.

Can I join :D